breakin it off with my first love

fenderbender · 08-02-2009, 12:55 AM

ugh im breaking up with my first longterm girlfriend whos also the only girl ive ever fucked and it FUCKING SUCKS

yea idk, just needed to tell somebody something

first time ive ever had to break up with anyone, especially someone who i love so god damn much, but know i just need to get away from her for now to get my shit together.

ill honestly end up back with her eventually im sure. shes the perfect girl for me and i love her, we,re just a little above our heads.

i just really want to enjoy life for a bit... i feel like its been a while

bizong · 08-02-2009, 01:23 AM

Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the mark of a false messiah.

- Richard Bach?

Being · 08-02-2009, 12:10 PM

Just tell her the truth man. Chances are she will get upset and it will seem like the end of the world, but it isn't. It isn't by a long shot, and chances are, no matter how gruesome the breakup is, you guys will be back together.

SO no worries, just get it over with, do your thing, move on, and im sure the time will come for you two to get back together.

**SageTree** · 08-03-2009, 12:05 AM

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I have had to make that hard call myself and can really empathize with that. For me leaving a long time girl friend resulted in me finding my wife, my best friend and lover.

However I don't want to be hasty here....

I am interested in your thoughts that you will be back with her again. Do you believe that or is that sorta just a safty net for the mind right now.

With all respect, that is okay, I'm just asking, because if you really do then I'd like to ask this.

What would your relationship look like when you get back together in the future?
What living do you perceive will be done, and you will be happy/satisfied?

If you feel like you want to 'live it up' alittle, I am guessing you'll be asked or end up saying some things to her about what you wish you could do. So what could be lost by just leaving it open as 'these are some things I really feel like I need to do to become a more fully aware person, to be my best for you. Again assuming you truely intend to reunite. Honour that feeling of still loving. Total honesty with pure intention to love is good. It doesn't mean it will be smooth and I don't know the whole angle/spin/explaination/ect you are going to enter this. I'm only saying if you still love this person, then don't be afraid to put your faith in this person understanding you. She might just say okay.

Some one once said to me that real love is choosing. Choosing to stay and put faith in talking it out. Protecting people with what we think is best will only lead to further cracks. If something is ending or changing, try not to be afraid to just lay out the needs or concerns, with out burning bridges. She might also have some things to say, and you setting this bar of talking could bring her to a comfortable spot where you will both be able to talk.

Worry and wait is always harder that just doing it and starting the process of adaption. So I wish you the courage to approach this with honesty love and caring compassion for her and yourself. You are both just two people trying to find happiness and not suffer. This is simple. Keep that in mind and speaking wisely will come naturally.

Just know that what ever happens you have it with in you to move forward to a good place, maybe where you can see it has always been inside you. It's hard to know what it right. Trust your heart.

Again sorry you are standing at a cross road, with heavy things on your mind.

Thanks for letting me talk that out and thanks for the gift of speaking to us about your problem. You really didn't ask for anything from us, so thanks for listening to me do what I felt was good. And I'm sorry if I made any wrong assumptions or placed too strong a feeling with my words, on your emotions.

Much love and inspiration.

In loving kindness,
SageTree

Grieves · 08-03-2009, 12:20 AM

The second one always comes quicker than the first...Time to grab your sack and pretend that you are the baddest mother fucker around and not care about women until one starts paying attention...

Krunk · 08-03-2009, 05:58 AM

youre young. just do it, and don't think about it too much. chances are you'll start hooking up with her again, but the dynamic will be much different as you won't feel the incessant need to hang out with her as much as possible.

Mikey · 08-03-2009, 08:47 AM

^ what krunk said.

Canuck Wisdom · 08-03-2009, 02:33 PM

Some good replies so far, I'd like to add that my 'first love' left me a while back to travel, and while I felt certain for a long time that we'd get back together when she came back (very soon now) I'm not even sure if I want to now... it definitely wouldn't be the same. Pretty sure I dont want to, unless she has something awesome to say/do.

So... keep in mind perspective, is what I'm saying.

fenderbender · 08-03-2009, 08:50 PM

ill go into more detail soon of how its goin down and shit, i just havent felt like talking about it...

ive been pretty depressed lately and sleeping alot, but thats more because i have nothing to do...

Also one of my hamsters died today and it was more my girls then mine so she came over today and we hung out for most of the day. had a good time

its a pretty mutual split atm, we just need a little time apart to get things straight and we both know it. like she was fuckin living with me for a year allready, and im only 18, shit moved kinda fast. i do not regret it at all though and had a blast. i just need some time away from her

Mikey · 08-03-2009, 09:37 PM

well best of luck with everything dude

**SageTree** · 08-04-2009, 06:57 AM

I hope you have peace with your choice and that it goes as well as intended.

Dr. Nick Nasty · 08-04-2009, 04:54 PM

best wishes. it's a hard thing to reconcile that sometimes we have to hurt and cause pain in order for better things to happen, but being in a similar situation at one time, I can assure you once you make that step, as painful as it is, you can begin to look at what you want from the universe and make it happen.

**~~stateofkane~~** · 08-05-2009, 01:19 PM

Trying? How hard is it to ditch someone? I could never understand that and always thought it must go both ways.

Grieves · 08-05-2009, 01:21 PM

children tend to complicate things...

**SageTree** · 05-13-2011, 08:35 AM

Fender.... How'd it go buddy?

adventure · 05-13-2011, 09:35 AM

I hope all is well... I spoke my peace in your other thread, by you must do what you feel is right...... good luck buddy!

Jester4yall · 05-13-2011, 10:59 AM

Same girl?

adventure · 05-13-2011, 11:19 AM

im assuming?

**SageTree** · 05-13-2011, 11:19 AM

My apologies Fender, I saw a guest viewing this today on the 'who is online' feature for Mods and thought I'd bump it up and ask.... however I completely forgot some how, how related this post is to your most recent one: http://www.yahooka.com/forum/guidanc...f-do-i-do.html

My bad if that is bring up too much confusion for you at once, but was genuinely curious how it went when I bumped this....

But Jester has a good question, was this the girl you mean after or the same lady?
I'm going to guess since you mentioned starting to see her a 1.5 ago, when this thread was started. And that this new thread, is about a new lady friend . Perhaps one that you left the lady in this older thread for or something close to that general time frame/idea/theme?

My advice/idea posted in this thread pretty much apply to your new post as well.

Take care Brother.
SageTree

fenderbender · 05-18-2011, 05:42 PM

lol i dont even recognize this post or the person that made them anymore.

I guess id have to be talking about my first girlfriend... but that shit sure was fuck wasnt mutual. Bitch got bored, dumped me, continued to have sex with me and play with my head, and than tore my heart out for good. She was my first girlfriend, first sex, first love, first everything. I even lived with her for over a year at 17/18 years old lol :/. Way too much too fast to end well.

We were on and off for a bit so maybe this was during that time...idk. I thought we were already done by august of that year. lol idk.

But yeah thank god that relationship ended. After a lonely few months of self loathing i met my current girl on new years eve.

Ill update that other thread while im at it.

Weird thread bump though as i dont even recognize the me that made it lol.

08-03-2009, 12:05 AM	#4 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 22,612 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 11,486 Thanked 5,709 Times in 4,024 Posts	I am sorry to hear about your situation. I have had to make that hard call myself and can really empathize with that. For me leaving a long time girl friend resulted in me finding my wife, my best friend and lover. However I don't want to be hasty here.... I am interested in your thoughts that you will be back with her again. Do you believe that or is that sorta just a safty net for the mind right now. With all respect, that is okay, I'm just asking, because if you really do then I'd like to ask this. What would your relationship look like when you get back together in the future? What living do you perceive will be done, and you will be happy/satisfied? If you feel like you want to 'live it up' alittle, I am guessing you'll be asked or end up saying some things to her about what you wish you could do. So what could be lost by just leaving it open as 'these are some things I really feel like I need to do to become a more fully aware person, to be my best for you. Again assuming you truely intend to reunite. Honour that feeling of still loving. Total honesty with pure intention to love is good. It doesn't mean it will be smooth and I don't know the whole angle/spin/explaination/ect you are going to enter this. I'm only saying if you still love this person, then don't be afraid to put your faith in this person understanding you. She might just say okay. Some one once said to me that real love is choosing. Choosing to stay and put faith in talking it out. Protecting people with what we think is best will only lead to further cracks. If something is ending or changing, try not to be afraid to just lay out the needs or concerns, with out burning bridges. She might also have some things to say, and you setting this bar of talking could bring her to a comfortable spot where you will both be able to talk. Worry and wait is always harder that just doing it and starting the process of adaption. So I wish you the courage to approach this with honesty love and caring compassion for her and yourself. You are both just two people trying to find happiness and not suffer. This is simple. Keep that in mind and speaking wisely will come naturally. Just know that what ever happens you have it with in you to move forward to a good place, maybe where you can see it has always been inside you. It's hard to know what it right. Trust your heart. Again sorry you are standing at a cross road, with heavy things on your mind. Thanks for letting me talk that out and thanks for the gift of speaking to us about your problem. You really didn't ask for anything from us, so thanks for listening to me do what I felt was good. And I'm sorry if I made any wrong assumptions or placed too strong a feeling with my words, on your emotions. Much love and inspiration. In loving kindness, SageTree __________________ YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance. "We're not here to judge what's good from bad, But to do the things that are right."

08-03-2009, 12:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
Grieves Biblioburro... Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Terra Sancta Posts: 11,588 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 1,903 Thanked 2,559 Times in 1,424 Posts	The second one always comes quicker than the first...Time to grab your sack and pretend that you are the baddest mother fucker around and not care about women until one starts paying attention... __________________ "And no matter what they said dollar is not your friend and it's the feelings that are hard to know are the feelings that all come slow No matter what they said dollar is not your friend and these feelings that so hard to know are the feelings that wont let go No don't let go, till you find a home World Unite and I'll love you forever"

08-03-2009, 08:47 AM	#7 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,294 Thanks: 1,080 Thanked 2,013 Times in 1,344 Posts	^ what krunk said. __________________ RIP Gov

08-03-2009, 09:37 PM	#10 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,294 Thanks: 1,080 Thanked 2,013 Times in 1,344 Posts	well best of luck with everything dude __________________ RIP Gov

08-04-2009, 06:57 AM	#11 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 22,612 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 11,486 Thanked 5,709 Times in 4,024 Posts	I hope you have peace with your choice and that it goes as well as intended. __________________ YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance. "We're not here to judge what's good from bad, But to do the things that are right."

08-02-2009, 01:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
bizong Old School Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 912 Thanks: 33 Thanked 42 Times in 34 Posts	Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the mark of a false messiah. - Richard Bach?

08-04-2009, 04:54 PM	#12 (permalink)
Dr. Nick Nasty A PhD in Anarchy Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New York/New Jersey Metro Wasteland Posts: 1,095 Blog Entries: 5 Thanks: 576 Thanked 347 Times in 219 Posts	best wishes. it's a hard thing to reconcile that sometimes we have to hurt and cause pain in order for better things to happen, but being in a similar situation at one time, I can assure you once you make that step, as painful as it is, you can begin to look at what you want from the universe and make it happen. __________________ The true [classical] liberal, in pursuit of fixed principles, must never have fixed political alliances. They must change based on the ruling rationale of the moment.- Lew Rockwell

08-05-2009, 01:19 PM	#13 (permalink)
~~stateofkane~~ Banned Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 560 Thanks: 20 Thanked 92 Times in 82 Posts	Trying? How hard is it to ditch someone? I could never understand that and always thought it must go both ways.

08-05-2009, 01:21 PM	#14 (permalink)
Grieves Biblioburro... Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Terra Sancta Posts: 11,588 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 1,903 Thanked 2,559 Times in 1,424 Posts	children tend to complicate things... __________________ "And no matter what they said dollar is not your friend and it's the feelings that are hard to know are the feelings that all come slow No matter what they said dollar is not your friend and these feelings that so hard to know are the feelings that wont let go No don't let go, till you find a home World Unite and I'll love you forever"

05-13-2011, 08:35 AM	#15 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 22,612 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 11,486 Thanked 5,709 Times in 4,024 Posts	Fender.... How'd it go buddy? __________________ YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance. "We're not here to judge what's good from bad, But to do the things that are right."

05-13-2011, 09:35 AM	#16 (permalink)
adventure Adventure its good Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 4,526 Thanks: 1,567 Thanked 1,223 Times in 911 Posts	I hope all is well... I spoke my peace in your other thread, by you must do what you feel is right...... good luck buddy! __________________ Coming Full Range

05-13-2011, 10:59 AM	#17 (permalink)
Jester4yall Mini Trucker FTW Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: where the sparks fly Posts: 2,284 Thanks: 1,404 Thanked 641 Times in 456 Posts	Same girl? __________________

05-13-2011, 11:19 AM	#18 (permalink)
adventure Adventure its good Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 4,526 Thanks: 1,567 Thanked 1,223 Times in 911 Posts	im assuming? __________________ Coming Full Range

05-13-2011, 11:19 AM	#19 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 22,612 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 11,486 Thanked 5,709 Times in 4,024 Posts	My apologies Fender, I saw a guest viewing this today on the 'who is online' feature for Mods and thought I'd bump it up and ask.... however I completely forgot some how, how related this post is to your most recent one: http://www.yahooka.com/forum/guidanc...f-do-i-do.html My bad if that is bring up too much confusion for you at once, but was genuinely curious how it went when I bumped this.... But Jester has a good question, was this the girl you mean after or the same lady? I'm going to guess since you mentioned starting to see her a 1.5 ago, when this thread was started. And that this new thread, is about a new lady friend . Perhaps one that you left the lady in this older thread for or something close to that general time frame/idea/theme? My advice/idea posted in this thread pretty much apply to your new post as well. Take care Brother. SageTree __________________ YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance. "We're not here to judge what's good from bad, But to do the things that are right."

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