Divorce Sucks

The Rev · 09-21-2009, 06:51 PM

I'm getting divorced.

I won't go into all the details, but it was one of those "rotted from the inside out" marriage situations where everything seems fine (even though you really know it isn't) then one day the house of cards collapses. My wife hasn't been home in a month, some other dude is horning in on the situation, and I'm stuck with the full rent on the house. I can manage here after weed and rent money if I eat alot of ramen and don't use the lights much (okay, not QUITE that bad, but I will have to live modestly).

The thing is, I feel completely fucked over. It's like everyone around me has lost their fucking minds. Thank God for my daughter, who has been very supportive. I doubt I could deal with this in any remotely objective way if I didn't have her looking out for me.

I'm just pissed off, bad. It isn't something you can fix immediately, and I just want to go apeshit all over her, and my son, and this other dude, and everyone who's copping the attitude that I'm the villain. I've done so much for her, and my kids, over these last ten years. I spent like $4K just this last May trying to save her dog's life, yet just 5 months later, she's screaming "You're an ASSHOLE!!" at me out in front of the house, kicking shit, and going fucking nuts on me!

Anyway, that's my rant. I don't need advice, or anyone to take my side, I just felt like venting. I just felt like being heard.

The Rev

Mydriasis · 09-21-2009, 06:57 PM

Well you've been heard. It's a good thing you got your daughter! Better things are to come, and I know you know that I know that you know that.

&

+

my_scatterheart · 09-21-2009, 07:04 PM

Place to yourself? Dance naked and jerkoff all over. wooooooooooooo

wnfakind · 09-22-2009, 12:59 AM

women are bitch's and use guys with a good heart.

Grieves · 09-22-2009, 01:54 AM

Just think of all that different hole you can get now...

You can make decisions with only you in mind...

The only guilt you will have to feel will be for legitimate reasons, not mental warfare...

Think of when peter finds his inner piece in office space, the lack of the need to care about anything...That is you now...You are free...

Cerebro · 09-22-2009, 03:29 AM

i got separated almost a year ago
i'm with a new girl now
we have sex
but, now the ex is trying to rip me off in a property settlement
she keeps instigating conversations, then getting the shits, yelling shit at me
and behaving most irrationally before storming off, hanging up etc
it's not that easy getting on with my life atm
still so much unresolved
i feel for you rev
i'm sure it will settle, and you'll find your silver lining

awwsuga23 · 09-22-2009, 06:18 AM

i would imagine divorce does suck. but i think when all the dust settles, your going to be happy and so will your kids and ex wife. It also opens up an opportunity for you to find someone who you can rly last your whole life with without driving eachother crazy. or just be a bachelor and get ass!

Bad dog · 09-22-2009, 06:41 AM

sorry to hear your troubles, man.
do you think it would have been better if you'd done it earlier?
just asking cuz my boats rocking too much and I can't decide whether to jump ship or wait for it to crash on the rocks.

Lloydy · 09-22-2009, 07:56 AM

thats why im never getting married, its just insurance for women so the bitch can take all your shit if it goes tits up.
marriage is outdated

Mikey · 09-22-2009, 08:37 AM

eugh I hear your Rev, coming from a broken marriage.
I work 2 jobs, farming during the day and washing dishes at night, make over 3500$ a month, but then she says IM dragging her down financially.

she hasn't worked in a fucking year when she 'broke her tailbone' which was bullshit, but IM dragging her down financially.

then when she gets drunk she's so fucking mean and just wants to start a fight.
every single fucking night.
its like she's the complete opposite of happy drunk she just turns mean and nasty as soon as she drinks and she keeps picking and picking and picking on me till i snap and then im the fucking asshole.

im sorry i didnt mean to hijack your thread, I just have alot of this shit on my mind too, best of luck with everything Rev.

Bud Head · 09-22-2009, 11:56 AM

Rev old buddy..... BTDT.... Divorce is the second worse thing that can happen.. I have already done that and for some one who thinks things are great and then bang, it sure fucks up the mind...

Not all women are bad just as all men are not good.. Thing to remember is.......... Most times life gets better in the long run..

It's better to rent than own when it comes to women...

The Rev · 09-22-2009, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bad dog

sorry to hear your troubles, man.
do you think it would have been better if you'd done it earlier?
just asking cuz my boats rocking too much and I can't decide whether to jump ship or wait for it to crash on the rocks.

I have no idea, man. I couldn't see this happening until it did, and then it was pretty much done. We're trying counselling, but it doesn't seem to be getting anywhere. I feel like all she wants is to prove to the counsellor that I'm the bad guy, not to actually resolve anything. Maybe that's a sign, I don't know. You could try counselling, and if she doesn't seem to want it for anything more than having another person on her side, maybe that says something about her, and the marriage.

I don't know your woman, so I really can't say. It seems like it should be obvious what they want, and if it can work, but love is earthworm blind, even when it's full of anger.

The Rev

The Rev · 09-22-2009, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wnfakind

women are bitch's and use guys with a good heart.

I think this is more true of young chicks. Having a smoking hot body is more power than an immature mind can handle, IMO.

The Rev

TheGrandPuba · 09-22-2009, 06:27 PM

I gotta agree with Lloydy and say I'm never getting married, I've told my girlfriend this too.

I don't know Rev aside from his posts here but he seems like one of the coolest motherfuckers around...

I don't know what it is about women but marriage changes them. I've seen it first hand with both of my older brothers (both back living at home now because they got fucked over by the women they chose to marry). Marriage turns women into bitching cunts, and kids only make them cuntier(sp?).

Sorry to hear about this Rev, but I'm sure you will feel like a free man very soon.

P.S.

Fuck a bitch

The Rev · 09-22-2009, 08:12 PM

That makes alot of sense, Turm, but after 42 years of personal experience with woman's inhumanity to man, I have no choice, if I wish to be perfectly honest, but to say that it really is always the woman's fault.

The Rev

Debaser · 09-22-2009, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Rev

. I feel like all she wants is to prove to the counsellor that I'm the bad guy, not to actually resolve anything.

The Rev

That sounds alot like my wife, except she won't go to counselling. Oh, she'll suggest it, but if I take any steps towards actually doing it she nixes the idea, most likely because she knows that she will end up "the bad guy".

No offense to women, but if you think you have it bad being in an abusive relationship, try being a GUY in an abusive relationship (where you're not the abuser), now THAT is a crappy place to be.

Bad dog · 09-23-2009, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Rev

I have no idea, man. I couldn't see this happening until it did, and then it was pretty much done. We're trying counselling, but it doesn't seem to be getting anywhere. I feel like all she wants is to prove to the counsellor that I'm the bad guy, not to actually resolve anything. Maybe that's a sign, I don't know. You could try counselling, and if she doesn't seem to want it for anything more than having another person on her side, maybe that says something about her, and the marriage.

I don't know your woman, so I really can't say. It seems like it should be obvious what they want, and if it can work, but love is earthworm blind, even when it's full of anger.

The Rev

funnily enough were in counseling for over a year.
she's stopped screaming about a divorce every 5 minutes but I now feel that that there's no real future once the kids grow up a bit.

relationships are not easy.
most marraiges these days need the man to be masochist with the ability to put up with all screaming fits and accepting the wife as perfect no matter how fucked in the head she is.

I'm losing patience.

Krunk · 09-23-2009, 05:52 AM

sorry to hear that rev, best of luck in moving on and making it work.

**SageTree** · 09-27-2009, 12:19 AM

On the rent issue Rev, have you considered find a new place to live? It doesn't sound like she is coming back or you would welcome it, either.

Is it likely you'll suddenly be able to afford rent?

My thoughts are, even though it might be one more unstabling factor a new place may be a good change of pace, and a place you'll feel a new ownership over.

Tell her you're moving and her stuff is in a box on the curb, if she doesn't come get it.

I'm glad we are here for you and extra glad you have a face to face support system.

Sage

I10HaulR · 09-27-2009, 09:40 AM

LOL at counseling. My Wife and I tried to go, that lasted a coup[e of months. We would start with a problem, then my wife would fire off hard at me, then when it was my turn to answer back, I'd be so calm and logical, my Wife wouldn't let me finish and she'd go into hysterics and change the topic, and the counsler was falling for it every time. My wife would get so out of hand, the last time we were finished with a session the counsler was so bewildered, all she could say is,"I hope your relationship lasts long enough to come back next week." LOL

Good luck Rev, God never gives you any problems you're not strong enough to handle.

09-21-2009, 06:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,672 Thanks: 4,716 Thanked 5,057 Times in 2,708 Posts	Divorce Sucks I'm getting divorced. I won't go into all the details, but it was one of those "rotted from the inside out" marriage situations where everything seems fine (even though you really know it isn't) then one day the house of cards collapses. My wife hasn't been home in a month, some other dude is horning in on the situation, and I'm stuck with the full rent on the house. I can manage here after weed and rent money if I eat alot of ramen and don't use the lights much (okay, not QUITE that bad, but I will have to live modestly). The thing is, I feel completely fucked over. It's like everyone around me has lost their fucking minds. Thank God for my daughter, who has been very supportive. I doubt I could deal with this in any remotely objective way if I didn't have her looking out for me. I'm just pissed off, bad. It isn't something you can fix immediately, and I just want to go apeshit all over her, and my son, and this other dude, and everyone who's copping the attitude that I'm the villain. I've done so much for her, and my kids, over these last ten years. I spent like $4K just this last May trying to save her dog's life, yet just 5 months later, she's screaming "You're an ASSHOLE!!" at me out in front of the house, kicking shit, and going fucking nuts on me! Anyway, that's my rant. I don't need advice, or anyone to take my side, I just felt like venting. I just felt like being heard. The Rev __________________ "You're seriously flying close to the fag-sun, icarus." -Flamingnun

09-21-2009, 06:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mydriasis Do Not Resuscitate Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,317 Thanks: 840 Thanked 431 Times in 298 Posts	Well you've been heard. It's a good thing you got your daughter! Better things are to come, and I know you know that I know that you know that. & + __________________ ۞

09-21-2009, 07:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
my_scatterheart Today, I am alive. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ Posts: 4,062 Thanks: 1,300 Thanked 2,713 Times in 1,579 Posts	Place to yourself? Dance naked and jerkoff all over. wooooooooooooo __________________ Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

09-22-2009, 01:54 AM	#5 (permalink)
Grieves Biblioburro... Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Terra Sancta Posts: 11,588 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 1,903 Thanked 2,559 Times in 1,424 Posts	Just think of all that different hole you can get now... You can make decisions with only you in mind... The only guilt you will have to feel will be for legitimate reasons, not mental warfare... Think of when peter finds his inner piece in office space, the lack of the need to care about anything...That is you now...You are free... __________________ "And no matter what they said dollar is not your friend and it's the feelings that are hard to know are the feelings that all come slow No matter what they said dollar is not your friend and these feelings that so hard to know are the feelings that wont let go No don't let go, till you find a home World Unite and I'll love you forever"

09-22-2009, 07:56 AM	#9 (permalink)
Lloydy KTF Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: England Posts: 11,692 Thanks: 469 Thanked 2,188 Times in 1,002 Posts	thats why im never getting married, its just insurance for women so the bitch can take all your shit if it goes tits up. marriage is outdated __________________ Keep the red flag flying high

09-22-2009, 12:59 AM	#4 (permalink)
wnfakind YaHookan Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 43 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	women are bitch's and use guys with a good heart.

09-22-2009, 08:37 AM	#10 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,294 Thanks: 1,080 Thanked 2,013 Times in 1,344 Posts	eugh I hear your Rev, coming from a broken marriage. I work 2 jobs, farming during the day and washing dishes at night, make over 3500$ a month, but then she says IM dragging her down financially. she hasn't worked in a fucking year when she 'broke her tailbone' which was bullshit, but IM dragging her down financially. then when she gets drunk she's so fucking mean and just wants to start a fight. every single fucking night. its like she's the complete opposite of happy drunk she just turns mean and nasty as soon as she drinks and she keeps picking and picking and picking on me till i snap and then im the fucking asshole. im sorry i didnt mean to hijack your thread, I just have alot of this shit on my mind too, best of luck with everything Rev. __________________ RIP Gov

09-22-2009, 11:56 AM	#11 (permalink)
Bud Head Yahooka admin Hawk Eye Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 15,451 Thanks: 57 Thanked 305 Times in 207 Posts	Rev old buddy..... BTDT.... Divorce is the second worse thing that can happen.. I have already done that and for some one who thinks things are great and then bang, it sure fucks up the mind... Not all women are bad just as all men are not good.. Thing to remember is.......... Most times life gets better in the long run.. It's better to rent than own when it comes to women... __________________ If you want a drug free country, then you must legalize. ~~BH~~ Farmers grow the world..

09-22-2009, 06:27 PM	#14 (permalink)
TheGrandPuba amateur gynecologist Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: in my head Posts: 2,589 Thanks: 40 Thanked 59 Times in 38 Posts	I gotta agree with Lloydy and say I'm never getting married, I've told my girlfriend this too. I don't know Rev aside from his posts here but he seems like one of the coolest motherfuckers around... I don't know what it is about women but marriage changes them. I've seen it first hand with both of my older brothers (both back living at home now because they got fucked over by the women they chose to marry). Marriage turns women into bitching cunts, and kids only make them cuntier(sp?). Sorry to hear about this Rev, but I'm sure you will feel like a free man very soon. P.S. Fuck a bitch

09-22-2009, 08:12 PM	#15 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,672 Thanks: 4,716 Thanked 5,057 Times in 2,708 Posts	That makes alot of sense, Turm, but after 42 years of personal experience with woman's inhumanity to man, I have no choice, if I wish to be perfectly honest, but to say that it really is always the woman's fault. The Rev __________________ "You're seriously flying close to the fag-sun, icarus." -Flamingnun

09-27-2009, 12:19 AM	#19 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 22,612 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 11,486 Thanked 5,709 Times in 4,024 Posts	On the rent issue Rev, have you considered find a new place to live? It doesn't sound like she is coming back or you would welcome it, either. Is it likely you'll suddenly be able to afford rent? My thoughts are, even though it might be one more unstabling factor a new place may be a good change of pace, and a place you'll feel a new ownership over. Tell her you're moving and her stuff is in a box on the curb, if she doesn't come get it. I'm glad we are here for you and extra glad you have a face to face support system. Sage __________________ YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance. "We're not here to judge what's good from bad, But to do the things that are right."

09-27-2009, 09:40 AM	#20 (permalink)
I10HaulR YaHookan Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 290 Thanks: 112 Thanked 117 Times in 71 Posts	LOL at counseling. My Wife and I tried to go, that lasted a coup[e of months. We would start with a problem, then my wife would fire off hard at me, then when it was my turn to answer back, I'd be so calm and logical, my Wife wouldn't let me finish and she'd go into hysterics and change the topic, and the counsler was falling for it every time. My wife would get so out of hand, the last time we were finished with a session the counsler was so bewildered, all she could say is,"I hope your relationship lasts long enough to come back next week." LOL Good luck Rev, God never gives you any problems you're not strong enough to handle.

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