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| Guidance And Support Questions and issues of a serious nature including health, medicinal cannabis use, personal issues, relationship issues, communication problems, parenting, cross-generational issues, problems with parents, giving up and overcoming obstacles. |
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#1 (permalink) |
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Admiral
Join Date: Aug 2003
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university/parents bs
ok so my high school marks were shit, and i couldn't go to uni right after graduation. instead i went to a community college and i graduated three years later (diploma in mechanical engineering). now i'm looking into going to university so i can get my bachelor's degree. most schools in my area don't do college transfers. there's a few other schools across the province that do, but i'd have to live on rez (more expensive). one school that i'm looking into has a college transfer program that was planned out exclusively for people like me, i can get the bachelors in two years instead of the regular four years. seems like the best option for me, except for one downside: its like 20 hours away from where i live, i really dont care, but my parents do.
my parents insist that i try to get into one of the universities that's closer (but not close enough to commute), even though i'd have to take the full four years and have to go like $60k into debt just to go there. it makes no sense to me at all. i took a year off after graduating college so i can save up to pay for at least part of my tuition, they're twisting this around into how i "wasted a year already, what do i care if it take 2 or 4 years to get the bachelors" i had an incident this summer where i got drunk and crashed my bike, and had to be picked up by them from the hospital... and now they're all "what if something like that happens and were 20hrs away, who's gonna help you, bla bla bla", whatever, it was the one time that something like that happened, i've learned my lesson, im not going to repeat the same mistake. they wouldn't even listen to me. they also think im an alcoholic and drug addict because i like to drink a couple tallboys and smoke some bowls on the weekends. i'm not even sure if ill get into any other schools, so its pretty much either this or nothing. everytime i bring up the topic that i might have to go to that school they freak and start spouting the same aforementioned bullshit at me and trying to dismiss it as not even an option to be considered. if it comes down to it im going to school regardless of what they say, its not like they can stop me, but i dont want to ruin my relationship with them. what should i do?
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FUCK THE ROBOTS!!! NUKE THE WHALES!!! |
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#2 (permalink) |
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Today, I am alive.
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NJ
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If you're still hung up on what your parents say in the matter, you're probably not ready for it.
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Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega |
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#3 (permalink) |
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OD'ing on sobriety
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Mizzura
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i disagree with scatter. it sounds like your not letting them control you but you still wanna salvage an important relationship.
the situation sucks but i think your heads in the right place about it.
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"we'll show these fascists what a couple of hillbillies can do"
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#4 (permalink) |
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life is music
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: between a pair of headphones
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Seems pretty self-explanatory to me. Do what you've gotta do and respectfully tell your parents what you are doing and why. You're a big boy, it shouldn't be a problem, if it is a problem then I'd have to agree with what's already been said.
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#5 (permalink) |
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Safe mode
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: New Zealand
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dont be a pussy!
hurra up get to uni man.
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"yes i smoke shit straight off the roach clip.." - Cypress Hill "Years ago I recognized my kinship with all living things, and I made up my mind that I was not one bit better than the meanest on the earth. I said then and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I am not free." — Eugene V. Debs [KEEP NZ GREEN] ![]() |
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#6 (permalink) |
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Baked Fresh Daily
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Winnipeg
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Just tell them that you're old enough now, and it's time for them to cut the cord. It sounds like classic overprotectiveness to me.
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Wouldn't it be great to heal the world with only a song? Message CM47: Let's go pay some hookers to knock our junk around. |
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#7 (permalink) |
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I am the Walrus
Join Date: Apr 2006
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I don't let my parents make my decisions for me anymore. They say shit like that to me about school, work, etc, but I just listen to them, take note of what they said, and don't care. Some things make sense to me that makes none to my parents, but since I see it from my point of view, and not theirs, I don't let their opinions sway me.
It sounds like both you and your parents have a common goal, and that's you going to school. If you can get into that school that's 20 hours away, go for it. As long as you can validate your own decisions in your head and in real life by being practical, don't let someone else try and tell you there is only X way of doing something. If you get into a situation where they begins to freak about the school, don't get angry yourself. Just calmly explain why you have decided to go there and don't add much. This will usually keep you from losing your cool and your parents thinking they have "won" the argument.
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ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ |
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