turning down a free car?

Mikey · 11-30-2009, 07:58 AM

so theres this carpenter guy that works on the island
he's a super loaded trust fund baby

i used to work for him, sometimes we hang out drink smoke doobies...but the thing is. i really dont like him. even though he's loaded has all this cool shit and stuff my wife is always like go hang out with him free booze free weed tries to give me money all the time.

he's just lonely he's not gay or anything, he bangs broads all the time and stuff.
but anyways i dont like him. ijust dont like him, i dont want ur free booze your free weed i dont want your money i dont care.

but my wife seems to think otherwise, she seems to think he's always gonna be good for something. i dont like that.

anyways,the past few days my wife keeps telling me i better be nice to him i better be nice to him, and im like no, if i dont like somebody its my godamned god given right to not be nice to them. if i dont like u im not going to be nice to u no. and she's like you have to you have to bla bla bla and then she finally cracked and told me that he bought me a car.

now we dont have alot of money and stuff, and its a nice gesture and stuff, but we already have a car, and i dunno basically i dont want it and my wife thinks ill be crazy to turn it down and well, am i crazy for turning it down?

i mean thanks, but no thanks. i meant wtf, i never asked you for a car, so what does this mean i have to hang out with you eveeeryday now because you bought me a car? i gotta feel guilty everytime i start it? your not my girlfriend your not my mother and you'll never be my fucking father so why would you buy me a fucking car.

aaargh so i dunno what to do.
values over materialist-ism right?

my_scatterheart · 11-30-2009, 08:06 AM

you're not crazy. That's weird. And will end up being a pain in the ass when he "gives" you the car and then you two break up and he flips shit

Friends and presents/money/etc. are bs equations that never work out

verklingen · 11-30-2009, 08:08 AM

if you won't stand with yourself who will man. i dunno enough about you guys' relationship to say for sure, but that could be something he'd hold over you for all time. you know what you doing

~1~ · 11-30-2009, 08:10 AM

Politely tell him that you already have a car.

Then tell him politely that you really don't care to hang out with him and then politely tell him to have a nice day.

Things like this will eventually work themselves out.

hijabihippie · 11-30-2009, 09:14 AM

^Seconded.
This just seems weird to me.
There's something else going on below the surface of this.
Hold onto your values, man.
In the immortal words of Robert Heinlein,
"Tanstaafl! There ain't no such thing as a free lunch!"
--The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress

crookedhatinator45 · 11-30-2009, 09:48 AM

i see what you're saying.. i don't really like accepting favours like that even from family and shit.. it's like they have some sort of control over you because they bought you something and could just as easily take it away and put you in a bull shit position so i'd rather pay for it myself.

José · 11-30-2009, 10:36 AM

wow, sounds like he's kinda crazy. i don't care how much money you have, keep it to yourself. you can offer generous hand outs for favors/work people do for you(if you're rich), but for nothing?!?!? that's really fucked up. sounds like the guy is pretty unhappy with himself.

**SageTree** · 11-30-2009, 10:50 AM

It's hard to tell someone to take a hike on a small island, no Mikey? No pun.

I think it's just okay to decline the offer. Having a car also means having overhead. So take that into consideration as well. Can you afford insurance ect ect? Explain that to him.

It's nice when people want to do something for you, but that is really extravagant. Just ask him to give you a ride when you need one, that is much more reasonable

I think it's nice that despite your dislike for him, you find the compassion to spend time with a lonely person. That is very nice of you.

Whatever disturbs you about him isn't necessary to share, but this is a curious relationship for sure.

Your first instincts are good ones imo. Just be polite and logical with him. Even if you don't care for him he seems to value you and your wife in some way, so no need to cut the cord,imo. It's always better to have a neutral neighbour that one who dislikes you. Pender is a small place and small towns are meccas for gossip and hyperbole. This is why I suggest the middle road.

Good luck Mikey. I think you know what you want to do already, just have the courage to face it......and your wife. Overhead costs seem like a relevant standoff point, to sum it up.

osirus2020 · 11-30-2009, 11:10 AM

I would politely ask him to leave my wife alone, too.

hijabihippie · 11-30-2009, 11:20 AM

Seconded.

Burner of trees · 12-01-2009, 02:15 AM

lol its gonna be like that seinfeld episode where that dude (his name escapes me right now) gave jerry a suit, and then told him to bring him out to lunch sometime. then when they went to lunch the dude only ordered a soup and claimed that didn't count as THE lunch.

anyways, mad respect for keeping it real. if you don't like the guy you don't like the guy...

Grieves · 12-01-2009, 04:18 AM

he's fucking your wife and giving you pity gifts...

myxomatosis · 12-01-2009, 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burner of trees

lol its gonna be like that seinfeld episode where that dude (his name escapes me right now) gave jerry a suit, and then told him to bring him out to lunch sometime. then when they went to lunch the dude only ordered a soup and claimed that didn't count as THE lunch.

anyways, mad respect for keeping it real. if you don't like the guy you don't like the guy...

lol, Kenny Bania.

12-01-2009, 07:03 AM

Sounds like a really odd situation. Why's your wife so set on being nice to this guy? I hate to say it but it does almost sound like your wife is fucking him. I've never been the type of person who is nice to someone just because I can get things from them. I think that is wrong on so many levels.

My oldest sons dad had this girl he worked with and he said he was hanging out with her because she had no family and she had no friends she was lonely. I had a huge problem with that chick. He insisted nothing was going on he was just being a good guy and low and behold 6 months after he met her he left me for her (and we had been together for 10 years). If you don't like the guy why does your wife like him?

Mikey · 12-01-2009, 07:26 AM

He works at the resort my wife's family owns, where my wife is works too as a waitress.

He's always been super extra nice to us because my wife's family is his boss.

And they treat him really good, he makes over 100k$ a year and has a company credit card for all his expenses, gas food booze rent everythings paid for.

So he's always been like extra nice to us like that 'cause our my wifes rich part of the family treats him well (me and my wife dont see any of that money were dirt poor and ok with it).

SO anyways our truck we have now, well someone crashed it a few years ago and now the insurance is 300$ a month, so thats 900$ every 3 months which is crazy.

And he got me this beater cause he knows that we'd only have to pay like 80$ insurance a month we'd insure that.

Mikey · 12-01-2009, 07:28 AM

I'm still not taking it though.
My wife's kinda choked cause we could save some serious cash, but fuck it,come few days the insurance is gonna expire and I'll just hitchhike to work, I've done it before,and she walks to work everyday anyways.

It just feels wrong on so many levels I hate that I even have to explain myself to her.

Flamingnun · 12-01-2009, 09:40 AM

Nobody's asked what sort of car he bought you yet?

**SageTree** · 12-01-2009, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flamingnun

Nobody's asked what sort of car he bought you yet?

Interesting thought for sure.

I think the principle is what was being talked about though.

Way to stick to your principle Mikey.

Another thought:

Perhaps ask him if you can BUY it off him then and maybe his generous streak could be you paying him the payments and you wouldn't have a 'Free' car, which seems atleast part of your beef/belief?

The details you added make him sound a wee more reasonable in the realm of him having gratitude for your wife's family, and that they've been good to him.

If it would really help you guys with money and transport, maybe asking to buy it cheap off him would make it seem more rational and within your bounds of reason.

But ultimately you are the judge brother. Just trying to help you have your cake and eat it too, either way you choose

Take care Mikey.

msicidron · 12-01-2009, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SageTree

Good luck Mikey. I think you know what you want to do already, just have the courage to face it......and your wife. Overhead costs seem like a relevant standoff point, to sum it up.

while Sage's advice is as usual pretty much the right advice

....

I think that if you feel that the real reason you dont want to accept this car has more to do with your moral position than just not wanting to pay to keep a car, you should tell the man the truth.

I live on a small island too, and i know how drama can start haha... best to avoid it from the start.

good luck and don't let your wife talk you down!

msicidron · 12-01-2009, 03:07 PM

btw that sucks that your wife doesnt really understand how you feel, that would bum me out.

are you 2 from quite different backgrounds?

11-30-2009, 07:58 AM	#1 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,443 Thanks: 1,144 Thanked 2,246 Times in 1,475 Posts	turning down a free car? so theres this carpenter guy that works on the island he's a super loaded trust fund baby i used to work for him, sometimes we hang out drink smoke doobies...but the thing is. i really dont like him. even though he's loaded has all this cool shit and stuff my wife is always like go hang out with him free booze free weed tries to give me money all the time. he's just lonely he's not gay or anything, he bangs broads all the time and stuff. but anyways i dont like him. ijust dont like him, i dont want ur free booze your free weed i dont want your money i dont care. but my wife seems to think otherwise, she seems to think he's always gonna be good for something. i dont like that. anyways,the past few days my wife keeps telling me i better be nice to him i better be nice to him, and im like no, if i dont like somebody its my godamned god given right to not be nice to them. if i dont like u im not going to be nice to u no. and she's like you have to you have to bla bla bla and then she finally cracked and told me that he bought me a car. now we dont have alot of money and stuff, and its a nice gesture and stuff, but we already have a car, and i dunno basically i dont want it and my wife thinks ill be crazy to turn it down and well, am i crazy for turning it down? i mean thanks, but no thanks. i meant wtf, i never asked you for a car, so what does this mean i have to hang out with you eveeeryday now because you bought me a car? i gotta feel guilty everytime i start it? your not my girlfriend your not my mother and you'll never be my fucking father so why would you buy me a fucking car. aaargh so i dunno what to do. values over materialist-ism right? __________________ RIP Gov

11-30-2009, 08:06 AM	#2 (permalink)
my_scatterheart Today, I am alive. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ Posts: 3,565 Thanks: 1,486 Thanked 3,328 Times in 1,870 Posts	you're not crazy. That's weird. And will end up being a pain in the ass when he "gives" you the car and then you two break up and he flips shit Friends and presents/money/etc. are bs equations that never work out __________________ Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

11-30-2009, 08:08 AM	#3 (permalink)
verklingen Radical Dreamer Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: texas Posts: 8,005 Thanks: 811 Thanked 1,491 Times in 946 Posts	if you won't stand with yourself who will man. i dunno enough about you guys' relationship to say for sure, but that could be something he'd hold over you for all time. you know what you doing __________________ “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” rip matt

11-30-2009, 08:10 AM	#4 (permalink)
~1~ Successful Failure Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: where 'they' can't see. Posts: 10,925 Thanks: 466 Thanked 1,581 Times in 925 Posts	Politely tell him that you already have a car. Then tell him politely that you really don't care to hang out with him and then politely tell him to have a nice day. Things like this will eventually work themselves out. __________________ "And those who are successful, be always on your guard. Success walks hand in hand with failure, along Hollywood Boulevard" Ray Davies --------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- Click Here Asshole

11-30-2009, 09:14 AM	#5 (permalink)
hijabihippie YaHookan Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,481 Thanks: 1,152 Thanked 655 Times in 515 Posts	^Seconded. This just seems weird to me. There's something else going on below the surface of this. Hold onto your values, man. In the immortal words of Robert Heinlein, "Tanstaafl! There ain't no such thing as a free lunch!" --The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress Last edited by hijabihippie; 11-30-2009 at 10:38 AM.

11-30-2009, 10:36 AM	#7 (permalink)
José YaHookan Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 3,364 Thanks: 62 Thanked 147 Times in 72 Posts	wow, sounds like he's kinda crazy. i don't care how much money you have, keep it to yourself. you can offer generous hand outs for favors/work people do for you(if you're rich), but for nothing?!?!? that's really fucked up. sounds like the guy is pretty unhappy with himself.

11-30-2009, 10:50 AM	#8 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,768 Times in 4,664 Posts	It's hard to tell someone to take a hike on a small island, no Mikey? No pun. I think it's just okay to decline the offer. Having a car also means having overhead. So take that into consideration as well. Can you afford insurance ect ect? Explain that to him. It's nice when people want to do something for you, but that is really extravagant. Just ask him to give you a ride when you need one, that is much more reasonable I think it's nice that despite your dislike for him, you find the compassion to spend time with a lonely person. That is very nice of you. Whatever disturbs you about him isn't necessary to share, but this is a curious relationship for sure. Your first instincts are good ones imo. Just be polite and logical with him. Even if you don't care for him he seems to value you and your wife in some way, so no need to cut the cord,imo. It's always better to have a neutral neighbour that one who dislikes you. Pender is a small place and small towns are meccas for gossip and hyperbole. This is why I suggest the middle road. Good luck Mikey. I think you know what you want to do already, just have the courage to face it......and your wife. Overhead costs seem like a relevant standoff point, to sum it up. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

11-30-2009, 11:20 AM	#10 (permalink)
hijabihippie YaHookan Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,481 Thanks: 1,152 Thanked 655 Times in 515 Posts	Seconded.

12-01-2009, 02:15 AM	#11 (permalink)
Burner of trees ya, yo. Join Date: May 2004 Location: where da skeezer be Posts: 5,897 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 121 Thanked 120 Times in 59 Posts	lol its gonna be like that seinfeld episode where that dude (his name escapes me right now) gave jerry a suit, and then told him to bring him out to lunch sometime. then when they went to lunch the dude only ordered a soup and claimed that didn't count as THE lunch. anyways, mad respect for keeping it real. if you don't like the guy you don't like the guy... __________________ Futurama quote of the day: (When I remember) Fry: Man, I thought Ultimate Robot Fighting was real, like pro wrestling, but it turns out it's fixed, like boxing.

12-01-2009, 04:18 AM	#12 (permalink)
Grieves The Worst Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Interstate 8 Posts: 12,090 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 2,577 Thanked 3,117 Times in 1,712 Posts	he's fucking your wife and giving you pity gifts... __________________ "And no matter what they said dollar is not your friend and it's the feelings that are hard to know are the feelings that all come slow No matter what they said dollar is not your friend and these feelings that so hard to know are the feelings that wont let go No don't let go, till you find a home World Unite and I'll love you forever"

12-01-2009, 07:03 AM	#14 (permalink)
Stoney Guest Posts: n/a	Sounds like a really odd situation. Why's your wife so set on being nice to this guy? I hate to say it but it does almost sound like your wife is fucking him. I've never been the type of person who is nice to someone just because I can get things from them. I think that is wrong on so many levels. My oldest sons dad had this girl he worked with and he said he was hanging out with her because she had no family and she had no friends she was lonely. I had a huge problem with that chick. He insisted nothing was going on he was just being a good guy and low and behold 6 months after he met her he left me for her (and we had been together for 10 years). If you don't like the guy why does your wife like him?

12-01-2009, 07:26 AM	#15 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,443 Thanks: 1,144 Thanked 2,246 Times in 1,475 Posts	He works at the resort my wife's family owns, where my wife is works too as a waitress. He's always been super extra nice to us because my wife's family is his boss. And they treat him really good, he makes over 100k$ a year and has a company credit card for all his expenses, gas food booze rent everythings paid for. So he's always been like extra nice to us like that 'cause our my wifes rich part of the family treats him well (me and my wife dont see any of that money were dirt poor and ok with it). SO anyways our truck we have now, well someone crashed it a few years ago and now the insurance is 300$ a month, so thats 900$ every 3 months which is crazy. And he got me this beater cause he knows that we'd only have to pay like 80$ insurance a month we'd insure that. __________________ RIP Gov

12-01-2009, 07:28 AM	#16 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,443 Thanks: 1,144 Thanked 2,246 Times in 1,475 Posts	I'm still not taking it though. My wife's kinda choked cause we could save some serious cash, but fuck it,come few days the insurance is gonna expire and I'll just hitchhike to work, I've done it before,and she walks to work everyday anyways. It just feels wrong on so many levels I hate that I even have to explain myself to her. __________________ RIP Gov

12-01-2009, 09:40 AM	#17 (permalink)
Flamingnun Shpadoinkle Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: roflmao Posts: 17,491 Thanks: 1,046 Thanked 2,633 Times in 1,185 Posts	Nobody's asked what sort of car he bought you yet? __________________

12-01-2009, 03:07 PM	#20 (permalink)
msicidron vibing Join Date: May 2007 Location: North America Posts: 959 Thanks: 229 Thanked 157 Times in 122 Posts	btw that sucks that your wife doesnt really understand how you feel, that would bum me out. are you 2 from quite different backgrounds? __________________ \|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode