Mydriasis

What do you do if you have a good and you've just been watching them non-stop fuck up?

Sometimes I want to beat some sense into this kid, but I kind of feel like there's nothing I can do. Sucks cuz we've been good friends for a long time now, and I've helped him get his life together, just to watch him aimlessly destroy it.

I could go into details but it's pretty damn pointless, just name every way a young adult could fuck up and it's pretty much gone down. Pregnancy(and an abortion he hasn't helped pay for yet), eviction, dropping out of school, getting fired(for good reasons), license suspension, theivary, hiding people from the law(getting caught doing this while they rip him off), destruction of other peoples property, slinging dope, doing shitty drugs, fucking over the unemployment agency(which they caught on to), etc, etc.

Separate from him completely or what? He's a nice guy I swear, big hearted kid, but he has just done the dumbest shit ever since I moved away. I feel like he's just trying to go to jail or something.

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Mikey

people need to hit a bottom before they can change
try talking to him not in a demeaning manner and maybe make him realise that this is his bottom

good luck

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RIP Gov

Mydriasis

I think he's waiting to go further down lol. I just talked to him and he's talking about trying to skip state without a license.

Guess your right though it's just part of life. Gotta let him find his own boundaries and pray we cross paths another time. As of right now I can't afford to be near a big ball of disaster. Shame but oh well.

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Grieves

either get ready for alot of pulling yourself along as someones habit feeds itself on the attention you are paying to it, or completely separate yourself and live for you, realizing that just because you knew a kid when he was young does not mean that you have life long obligations to him...I say go with option number 2 to save yourself the trouble/loss/ultimate disappointment...Sel f destruction is just that, destruction of self, he is tearing down for something, hopefully he will be able to rebuild, but it isn't your place to do anything...

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Mydriasis

^Real shit right there grieves. I didn't even look at it like that. That's the decision that is made.

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421

"growth is a process of trial and error: Experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately works"

some of us are more hard-headed than others...let him be, i know how it is to have friends take off down a rough path

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Geeno

If you hang around shit long enough you start to smell like it.

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farmergiles

Grieves is right.

Sounds like he's fucking up on purpose; dissociative behaviour arising from other issues.

Being supportive of said behaviour won't help him.

All you can do is be honest with yourself and him, if you go back a long way then brutal honesty is probably a good option.

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Cultivate a stoic calmness

tedkennedy

sounds like your friend has already chosen his own lifestyle, after a certain point its not your job to try and teach them how to live. you can still be a friend but you cant change people.

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matthew munari

Stoerck

People can only go to the bottem untill they've finally realized they messed up. Lets just hope in your case that your friends rock bottem isnt years in prison.

I wish the best for you and your friend

Dr. Nick Nasty

in my experience, the best you can do is let them learn their lessons and be there to help pick them up when the bottom out.

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