wellfleation

I met my friend at work 9 years ago. This is a guy who got a divorce about 3 years ago as he was caught cheating on his wife w/multiple people. He has a 6-year-old autistic child (mother's custody par the course). After his divorce he was banging numerous girls, strip clubs, and did what I consider light drinking. (I've never seen the guy drink more than a few beers.) He does not even smoke pot. This is also a guy who has his masters degree and is very intelligent but a little quirky. We have had several conversations about religion over the years which he always proclaimed himself to be agnostic and thought religion was a bs scam.

So I get this phone call at around 9PM. I thought something was the matter as this is a guy usually in bed by this time. I answer the phone and he goes on telling me how all the jokes he told about his lifestyle was a big cover up. That the life he's been leading has been so horrible that one night he fell to his knees and prayed to God. He then proceeds to tell me that he "needed" to tell me of his "transformation" because he has seen me having more problems over the years and wanted me to attend a Church called Grace Chapel once with him. He claims the church is non-judgmental with incredible people.

I am spiritual in my own way and am not against people believing whatever they want, but I do not believe in organized religion. To me, how can one religion be right and the rest are wrong? I told my wife who was raised and still believes in Catholicism, and she was like wtf - he's weird. Anyway, during our conversation I keep telling my friend that I think that anything that makes HIM happier is great. I also tell him that I will not go to church as he already knew my stance on that.

Needless to say, it was a very weird and uncomfortable conversation that I could not wait to end. Now I'm thinking that this fun guy is now going to get all holy on me and we won't be able to interact as we did prior. (We both have a dry sarcastic sense of humor and like[d] to rank on people and talk about very un-religious stuff.) So now what? It's going to be a weird day at work tomorrow.

In the small town of Wellfleet where I was raised a church was built called Grace Chapel so I think this church is affiliated. I went to Sunday School there and brought my best friend when I was 9. His parents, who were heavy tokers and drinkers decided to go once and they were "re-born" and were fanatical (father became a Reverend and killed himself 15 years ago after his wife left him). Another friend of mine's mother went to this Church and also became a fanatic. Every time I saw her she would preach about God and give me some sort of pamphlet. My sisters ex-husband also - went from dealing weed to being the guy on the corner yelling about God and hell and shit. I hope this does not happen to this guy.

So I will support him as he is my friend as long as he doesn't shove religion down my throat. I don't want to crush his spirit or anything but I believe firmly that organized religion is for the week minded or people who are afraid of their own mortality, and what is really weird is this guy is anything but week minded. This freaks me out.

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FIGHTPOWER

msicidron

if he starts going overboard, give it to him real straight like.

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Flamingnun

You sound like a right cunt in person. Go take your friend, who's obviously having a some form of breakdown to church, once, if it makes him feel better. It's not all about you.

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NorcalCarl

"Hey man I used to be all fucked up on drugs..... Now Im all fucked up on god"

Too much of anything can be bad I hope the best for your friend

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There is no charge for awesomeness-

Don't ever forget to love thyself-

i love ganj

give him a chance it obviously is changed somethin in his life

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everything that glitters ain't gold

wellfleation

You have terrible comprehension skills. Try reading my post a few times until you are able to understand it. Try to keep up with the rest of us.

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FIGHTPOWER

José

Yeah dude that's undoubtedly awkward. You should ask him what made him "convert." It sounds like he's begging to tell you. Then tell him it's just not my thing or what ever. Then you both can go your separate ways or just keep being his friend if you think he can get over it.

Flamingnun

Sounds like you think he should care more about your opinions of whatever church it is, than his own. Different strokes for different folks dude, maybe focus more on the fact that he's falling apart first, and the religion bit second.

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José

yeah failingnun actually has a point, religion is just a way for people that aren't good with dealing with emotions go for support. it's out dated psychology IMO.

wellfleation

He'll always be my friend I just don't want the friendship to get awkward.

Today I saw him at work as I do almost every weekday and we had some small talk and he did not mention religion. I did ask him if he was serious about what he was saying last night as he has a very off-beat sense of humor. He said he was and I said that was totally cool, that I just wanted to make sure he wasn't tooling w/me as that is kind of his style. He took no offense or anything as I made it clear I meant none.

As l mentioned, as long as he is happy I am happy for him. I have just had the religion card pushed at me so much throughout my youth I began early to recognize the hypocrisy.

My best friends father who was reborn at the Grace Chapel in Wellfleet and became a Reverend and killed himself (shotgun blast to the chest), his main objective was holding gatherings of gay people at his home with the goal being to convert them to be straight. This was back in the late 80s. So when my friend was saying how un-judgemental his Grace Chapel congregation was my head almost started spinning. (Maybe I'm possessed!)

It's all a brainwashing scam as far as I'm concerned. The church always look for people who are down (or weak minded), convert you, and then teach you to firmly believe in their agenda and "spread the word". It's like a pyramid scheme. My friend and I have had this conversation numerous times over the years and he was always the first to say this or something else negative about religion.

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FIGHTPOWER

wellfleation

I'm not going to wright a book on our conversations over the years but we have not had any problems discussing some deep stuff. Having an autistic child is tough, I know from my own personal experiences over the years. Divorce is obviously tough too but his was well deserved as he was cheating on his wife with multiple partners. Prior to his divorce was announced to me he told me he was looking to adopt a child with his then wife. Literally a month later I learned they were getting a divorce. He's all over the map and is a very complex person. Maybe he needs religion but I do not. And he never appeared to be "falling apart", quite the opposite. He used to tell me how great it was being single and being able to do whatever whenever.

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FIGHTPOWER

Being

i can understand nuns point. but seriously, if you don't feel comfortable going to church, you shouldn't have to.

keep having the discussions and debates and whatnot, be there for him for sure. But he should be able to understand it doesnt make you comfortable to be in that church.

in the end you need to be there for him, do not give up on that, that is the most important thing, he needs a friend to help him along.

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R.I.P. Gov

Mikey

man i wrote a whole big long thing
but i lost it

so to sum it up,
follow your heart

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RIP Gov

SageTree

Could I state openly and honestly a question?

Are YOU scared/worried about yourself being swayed?

The stories you shared are pretty drastic and unexplained conversions. Perhaps not understandable and a mystery.

Is that 'holy shit what happened' creeping around in places that it shouldn't in your mind, as in are you worried you'll catch the 'god virus' despite your better sense?

You have life affirming principles and so does he. Don't be scared to let down the 'wtf' and get a first hand account of what brought him to where he is and clear up the mystery of his conversion, which is sometimes odd and always individual.

If you value him as a friend , I believe, you can feel free and find out where he is standing now, so you can progress in the way that is best, apart or together.


Namaste
SageTree

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José

how did this end?

Praise Jah

i often hear people say that and i always question if the sayer is actually well read on these religus topics. I can say i've truely only read the bible and a bit of the koran but i don't see why you believe these religus books are contradictive.

Sir-Ex

Jeez reading this has freaked me out. Hearing how people deal with these big emotional turmoils is so fucked up because it can go so many ways, and if it happened to you? Going through something that just changed you in a way you couldn't even help because you were too fucked up in your head to even realise it was happening..

Or just being so unsure of everything that as you get older your mind just takes these unpredictable paths and all of a sudden you've forgotten who the fuck you are and can't quite remember who you were.

Jesus.

Going insane is one of my biggest fears. Losing sense of myself and becoming something less aware. FUCK THAT


I should've had this mindset when I was 15 and started to begin throwing as much chemical madness in there as I could.




But it takes conflict for resolution.



It also takes madness for revelation.

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Smile

Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

Anonymous4674

Get stoned, then to go church with your friend. That way, you will be able to bear the episode.

He needs you to validate his belief system.

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Ordained by the church of the Latter Day Dude.


"I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant..." (Alan Greenspan)

maxcore

give him a pre-rolled blunt and a cheap lighter....

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Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen. ~Leonardo da Vinci