Returing to Spirit: Residential School Reconciliation Retreat/Workshop

**SageTree** · 03-12-2010, 12:28 PM

Next week I'll be out of commission from the boards. I'm going to the workshop in the title. This is offered up by the place where I volunteer and think it's a good thing for me to do because I DO have feelings about how the schools effect life today. Here in BC the concern is very real to me, much more so than in the lower mainland. 80% of the people I help each day have been effected by this legacy of 'education' and the Church was instrumental in this and has been active in hosting workshops like these.

For the week I'll be staying in the Monks dorm, that has a bed, a window a desk and a Bible in them, from what I saw the other week. So I feel like I'll have plenty of time to distill things without distraction because,this is going to be an intensive week for me as I face many emotions about this and also in experiencing with people. I'm not exactly sure what things I'm bringing to them, but I know what happened and how things are playing out now doesn't set well in my heart. And as a care taker I feel this is something that must be done for myself as much as the people I hope to be able to speak with better about this issue.

So please be with me as I open myself up and listen to the things inside of me, as I'm sure a skilled counselor is going to help me give them voice.

Namaste and Blessings to you all next week. Much Love to you all.

In loving kindness,
SageTree

Brochure

Quote:

MISSION STATEMENT:
We, the RTS Community, create a future based on choice rather than reaction to past events.
We shift individuals and communities from being in a condition of survival to being responsible for their present and future realities.
We are committed to living our lives based on these philosophies and to sharing these teachings and opportunities with others.

Quote:

Returning to Spirit© (RTS) is a non-profit organization that designs and delivers workshops and training programs for reconciliation within the context of residential school issues.
Our focus is on moving people forward through the principles of personal empowerment.
Our work goes beyond healing. It provides conditions for transformation in personal, family, community, and organizational life.
RTS workshops are currently being offered to First Nations and Religious communities across Canada.

Quote:

Returning to spirit: workshops for First Nations and church people: process nurtures conditions for healing

"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it."

--Albert Einstein

Einstein's insight took on fresh meaning for me as a participant in "Returning to Spirit," a courageous and life-enhancing approach for facing into the impasse surrounding the troubled legacy of the residential school system. This session took place in March in Winnipeg and was attended by 76 persons from Nunavut, Novia Scotia, Prince Edward Island, Saskatchewan, Alberta and Manitoba.
"Returning to Spirit" was initiated and developed by Marc Pizandawatc, an Algonquin from Kitiganzibi First Nation, and Ann Thompson, a Sister of St. Anne from B.C. The two met during a workshop that Pizandawatc was conducting in Yellow knife, and from that conversation "Returning to Spirit" was born. Five years later, the workshops have enabled hundreds of church and First Nations persons to reclaim and reconstitute their personal and communal lives.

As the name implies, "Returning to Spirit" is not about superficial change or "cheap grace," but is a path of transformation. It is a way for persons to return to deep spirit, the precious being each of us is before pain and trauma sealed off full access to that sacred source. In the case of those participating in "Returning to Spirit," the identified trauma is the residential school experience.

It is indisputable that persons who went to residential schools suffered loss of language and culture. It has become clear that many were also physically and sexually abused. That dark chapter of Canadian ecclesiastical and civil history needs to be acknowledged and repented, not in a way that obfuscates what took place, but in a way that enables persons to move through it and beyond it.
At the same time, religious women and men who taught and administered those schools became caught in their own pain, confusion and anger when reports of abuse by some of their members began to surface. "Returning to Spirit" gives everyone, no matter what their starting point, a way through to reconciliation and healing.

In one sense the method of "Returning to Spirit" is deceptively simple and is carried out in two phases. In Phase One, aboriginal and church persons meet separately to go through the identical week-long process. During this week, participants develop a common language and a common frame of reference for addressing their lives and their different perspectives on the same history. We become aware of how each of us creates stories around painful life events in which I am right and the other is wrong. There is an illusory protection in such a story, and I often hold on to it in the vain hope that the past will change and I will be vindicated.

As Pizandawatc explains, "People are stuck in a particular conversation. First Nations have one conversation and the church has a totally different conversation ... each trying to prove to the other who is right and the result is always the same: more anger, more frustration, more pain, and the vicious cycle continues. Reconciliation is about having the same conversation. First Nations need the church for completion and the church needs First Nations for completion."

Each person takes the necessary steps to accept and "complete" the past, (accept that it is past, that it can never be different from what it was.) This acceptance is not of what happened, but accepting that it happened in the past, it is over, and the person is not willing to carry it into the future.

In Phase Two, the First Nations and faith community members come together to have new conversations, meeting separately for two days and then together for three days. The work of the days apart is to review the learning of Phase One, and to prepare what we want and need to say to one another clearly, honestly and kindly in the days ahead. People have the opportunity to speak and listen to one another, not as roles or antagonists, but as persons.

The goal of Phase Two is reconciliation. Participants are reminded that forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with me. By not forgiving, I stay stuck and pass on my "stuckness." I am caught in "the story," in a monologue of no possibility, and all I can do is reproduce more of the same.

Through the process, workshop participants create the conditions in which they can come together beyond differences and histories to experience communal reconciliation. In the group, a new tangible aliveness rises as people speak and listen to the suffering and joys of the individual in front of them. The experience of being part of such a circle of forgiveness and compassion is for many participants an experience of a viable church, where everyone is valued, new life is an ever-present possibility, and we move forward together into a future that is qualitatively different from the past. We learn in new ways how to live from the depth of spirit.

Through this process of "Returning to Spirit," I was able to observe and experience first-hand the kind of shift Einstein envisaged, as church representatives and First Nations persons met one another on new ground, from a new consciousness, and created the conditions that make possible new conversations and new futures together. This is a profound sign of hope in the present world, and opens wide the door to the possibilities of a different future together.

Mikey · 03-12-2010, 04:05 PM

sounds like the kinda thing that's right up your alley
i'm sorry i don't have deeper words or thoughts to help you with your journey but i strongly feel like it is the right path chosen for you

so i wish you peace and love brother (twin

) and good luck with your new venture

hijabihippie · 03-12-2010, 04:28 PM

May the Almighty bless you in the work. It looks like it's well-structured.

**SageTree** · 03-14-2010, 09:12 PM

See you all in a week.

I'm on retreat for the week and will see you Friday night.
Links to what I'm up to are in my sig **dates**.

Take care and Love each other.

In loving kindness,
SageTree

Tricto · 03-14-2010, 10:19 PM

peace be da journey.

421 · 03-14-2010, 11:09 PM

i'll miss you

Man in Black · 03-14-2010, 11:30 PM

have fun sage

**~~SpankyMcLankey~~** · 03-14-2010, 11:36 PM

cya man, good luck and have fun

Mercury · 03-15-2010, 05:26 AM

I want to go on a retreat, man! No fair Sage always gets to do the fun stuff.

John F. Kerry · 03-15-2010, 11:07 AM

have funnn

kitch · 03-15-2010, 11:12 AM

I call em sabbaticals, sounds fancier.

**SageTree** · 03-19-2010, 05:19 PM

Well the retreat went really well. The focus was on moving through issues that have kept us 'stuck', to use their language. It was an emotionally raw week and some people worked through some hard things.

I made sense of a lot of things and was able to shift the focus on my 'story'.

The first day we wrote our life stories and focused on the parts that we still had negative feelings about. We read and re-read them till we got to just a few majors. Then we worked through the issues of what happened and what the story is that surrounds it. Giving a new focus on where we stand in them. That is 'what happened' vs. 'the bad meanings we took,created or believed about them, in ourselves'

I had insights in writing out the story of my first physical abuse after years of verbal abuse and discovered that the reason my Dad got mad at me and hit me repeatedly was because he was effected poorly, for whatever reason, when I tried to help him put on my sisters bike helmet, I was 8. Which in talking with my Sister this week she remembers but to a lesser extent of what happened.

I looked at my abuse from that time till the summer of my parents divorce at 16, and saw how that primed me for anger, which is a major understatement of what and how I acted during that time.
Their divorced was in the same 2.5 month period that 4 friends and my Grandfather died.

I gave meaning and purpose to my surviving the wreck where my friends died, and one of them was in my seat, so to speak, because I didn't return a phone call. And honoured their memory with a commitment to use my life for goodness.

I have done OK with my Grandfather over the years myself, but it took lots of time, lots of tears.

A major achievement is that, I finally saw that I was just a 16 year old kid in the midst of a storm, when I sat down and talked out the wish to "ask forgiveness of my sister for leaving her alone in the house during that time period". It was part of 'homework' to 'complete' or 'reconcile' with people in our experiences, which I was reluctant to do on such large things that could be opening a wound for others.
I talked about my feelings being experienced then and was asked to look at ANY 16 year old and was asked how I felt.
I almost couldn't say it..... but I wasn't in control of shit.... I was just a kid.... a Victim..... And that was SO freeing, in a way that I then knew how to take responsibility for those feelings. Because of the WS and my own work.

Finally last night in a serendipitous moment... My sister called me at the retreat to talk about her wedding plans, which we did. I asked her if it was OK to talk about what I was up to and that she was part of it. I told her my whole story of what I'd done and explained to her that I wanted to say sorry, but in the end realized I was sorry for not explaining sooner why it was nearly impossible for me to feel available to help. I told her about laying in bed for the 4 months prior to my parents split, crying to myself, each morning for two hours, when they finally left for work. I kept it in the I want you to know and I'm sorry realm and not in the excuse realm.
She told me that she was mad then, but understood. She had her own support systems even at 12. I told her I was happy she hadn't suffered with this as I had and I really was helped by talking with her. She learned a lot about my time during then, and she freely shared her own stories, which I didn't know.

I to her, I don't really know what to do with 'being a victim' but I didn't doubt now that I was, but now, I said, I feel I know where the good point of contact is with the situation and that I am OK with things now, and believe I will be able to be aware when things are happening.

There was a lot more little a-ha! moments there as well as much more work and talking with people. Most of the participants where over 50, which seemed to be helpful to the 'oldies' that I was working shit out early. And gave them some hope. Their age on the other hand filled me with compassion and sadness when 73 year olds were admitting for the first time to ANYONE their sexual abuse. If people weren't perspectively 'cured' at least people were opened up to the present and things as they are, as so they may get further help on the trauma.

I'm super happy and feel like I'm floating from the waist up. I practically haven't been able to stop smiling since Thursday night

and I have never felt so light and at peace in my core of cores since I can remember.

I just want to say thank you all for being in my life. Encouraging me and letting me be your friend. My freedom is connected to yours and this week helped me step closer to being a more effective self and a more effective friend to you and the off keyboard world.

Blessed be!
SageTree

The Rev · 03-19-2010, 05:40 PM

Cool.

The Rev

**~~stateofkane~~** · 03-19-2010, 06:49 PM

It's good to see you back Sage.

03-19-2010, 07:05 PM

Thank you for sharing your story Sage.

Glad you're feeling light.

hijabihippie · 03-20-2010, 05:27 PM

Thundering hordes of awesomeness, Sage!
Welcome back. Thanks for your honesty.

Mikey · 03-20-2010, 05:33 PM

welcome back sage
some people here really need you

**SageTree** · 03-20-2010, 05:34 PM

Much Love to All My Relations!!!!!

**SageTree** · 03-20-2010, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikey

welcome back sage
some people here really need you

Well other than feeling exhausted mentally, I'm in a super light positive mood and ready if anyone needs me

03-20-2010, 06:11 PM

We always need you brawthah...to be around that is.

As in you're a great person.

03-12-2010, 04:05 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,294 Thanks: 1,080 Thanked 2,013 Times in 1,344 Posts	sounds like the kinda thing that's right up your alley i'm sorry i don't have deeper words or thoughts to help you with your journey but i strongly feel like it is the right path chosen for you so i wish you peace and love brother (twin ) and good luck with your new venture __________________ RIP Gov

03-14-2010, 09:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 22,616 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 11,487 Thanked 5,709 Times in 4,024 Posts	OUT of town/ Back from Retreat Update See you all in a week. I'm on retreat for the week and will see you Friday night. Links to what I'm up to are in my sig dates. Take care and Love each other. In loving kindness, SageTree __________________ YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance. "We're not here to judge what's good from bad, But to do the things that are right."

03-14-2010, 10:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
Tricto updating Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Midwest Posts: 439 Thanks: 184 Thanked 79 Times in 59 Posts	peace be da journey. __________________ Human rights went on vacation Money took over a long time ago... Cuando la historia no se puede escribir con la pluma, se escribe con el fusil

03-14-2010, 11:09 PM	#6 (permalink)
421 Alice D. Millionaire Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Appalachia Posts: 1,790 Thanks: 448 Thanked 106 Times in 69 Posts	i'll miss you __________________ further forward

03-14-2010, 11:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
Man in Black willie d Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: dayton,ohio Posts: 4,816 Thanks: 2,928 Thanked 1,249 Times in 835 Posts	have fun sage __________________ Budweiser buckles and soft faded Wranglers and each night begins a new day, if you can't understand him and he don't die young, he'll probably just ride away.

03-12-2010, 04:28 PM	#3 (permalink)
hijabihippie YaHookan Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,587 Thanks: 1,153 Thanked 655 Times in 515 Posts	May the Almighty bless you in the work. It looks like it's well-structured.

03-14-2010, 11:36 PM	#8 (permalink)
~~SpankyMcLankey~~ Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 3,310 Thanks: 1,748 Thanked 1,063 Times in 703 Posts	cya man, good luck and have fun

03-15-2010, 05:26 AM	#9 (permalink)
Mercury Special Delivery Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: The States Posts: 8,190 Thanks: 294 Thanked 799 Times in 537 Posts	I want to go on a retreat, man! No fair Sage always gets to do the fun stuff.

03-19-2010, 05:19 PM	#12 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 22,616 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 11,487 Thanked 5,709 Times in 4,024 Posts	Well the retreat went really well. The focus was on moving through issues that have kept us 'stuck', to use their language. It was an emotionally raw week and some people worked through some hard things. I made sense of a lot of things and was able to shift the focus on my 'story'. The first day we wrote our life stories and focused on the parts that we still had negative feelings about. We read and re-read them till we got to just a few majors. Then we worked through the issues of what happened and what the story is that surrounds it. Giving a new focus on where we stand in them. That is 'what happened' vs. 'the bad meanings we took,created or believed about them, in ourselves' I had insights in writing out the story of my first physical abuse after years of verbal abuse and discovered that the reason my Dad got mad at me and hit me repeatedly was because he was effected poorly, for whatever reason, when I tried to help him put on my sisters bike helmet, I was 8. Which in talking with my Sister this week she remembers but to a lesser extent of what happened. I looked at my abuse from that time till the summer of my parents divorce at 16, and saw how that primed me for anger, which is a major understatement of what and how I acted during that time. Their divorced was in the same 2.5 month period that 4 friends and my Grandfather died. I gave meaning and purpose to my surviving the wreck where my friends died, and one of them was in my seat, so to speak, because I didn't return a phone call. And honoured their memory with a commitment to use my life for goodness. I have done OK with my Grandfather over the years myself, but it took lots of time, lots of tears. A major achievement is that, I finally saw that I was just a 16 year old kid in the midst of a storm, when I sat down and talked out the wish to "ask forgiveness of my sister for leaving her alone in the house during that time period". It was part of 'homework' to 'complete' or 'reconcile' with people in our experiences, which I was reluctant to do on such large things that could be opening a wound for others. I talked about my feelings being experienced then and was asked to look at ANY 16 year old and was asked how I felt. I almost couldn't say it..... but I wasn't in control of shit.... I was just a kid.... a Victim..... And that was SO freeing, in a way that I then knew how to take responsibility for those feelings. Because of the WS and my own work. Finally last night in a serendipitous moment... My sister called me at the retreat to talk about her wedding plans, which we did. I asked her if it was OK to talk about what I was up to and that she was part of it. I told her my whole story of what I'd done and explained to her that I wanted to say sorry, but in the end realized I was sorry for not explaining sooner why it was nearly impossible for me to feel available to help. I told her about laying in bed for the 4 months prior to my parents split, crying to myself, each morning for two hours, when they finally left for work. I kept it in the I want you to know and I'm sorry realm and not in the excuse realm. She told me that she was mad then, but understood. She had her own support systems even at 12. I told her I was happy she hadn't suffered with this as I had and I really was helped by talking with her. She learned a lot about my time during then, and she freely shared her own stories, which I didn't know. I to her, I don't really know what to do with 'being a victim' but I didn't doubt now that I was, but now, I said, I feel I know where the good point of contact is with the situation and that I am OK with things now, and believe I will be able to be aware when things are happening. There was a lot more little a-ha! moments there as well as much more work and talking with people. Most of the participants where over 50, which seemed to be helpful to the 'oldies' that I was working shit out early. And gave them some hope. Their age on the other hand filled me with compassion and sadness when 73 year olds were admitting for the first time to ANYONE their sexual abuse. If people weren't perspectively 'cured' at least people were opened up to the present and things as they are, as so they may get further help on the trauma. I'm super happy and feel like I'm floating from the waist up. I practically haven't been able to stop smiling since Thursday night and I have never felt so light and at peace in my core of cores since I can remember. I just want to say thank you all for being in my life. Encouraging me and letting me be your friend. My freedom is connected to yours and this week helped me step closer to being a more effective self and a more effective friend to you and the off keyboard world. Blessed be! SageTree __________________ YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance. "We're not here to judge what's good from bad, But to do the things that are right."

03-19-2010, 05:40 PM	#13 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,674 Thanks: 4,716 Thanked 5,061 Times in 2,710 Posts	Cool. The Rev __________________ "You're seriously flying close to the fag-sun, icarus." -Flamingnun

03-19-2010, 06:49 PM	#14 (permalink)
~~stateofkane~~ Banned Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 560 Thanks: 20 Thanked 92 Times in 82 Posts	It's good to see you back Sage.

03-19-2010, 07:05 PM	#15 (permalink)
turmaline Guest Posts: n/a	Thank you for sharing your story Sage. Glad you're feeling light.

03-20-2010, 05:27 PM	#16 (permalink)
hijabihippie YaHookan Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,587 Thanks: 1,153 Thanked 655 Times in 515 Posts	Thundering hordes of awesomeness, Sage! Welcome back. Thanks for your honesty.

03-20-2010, 05:33 PM	#17 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,294 Thanks: 1,080 Thanked 2,013 Times in 1,344 Posts	welcome back sage some people here really need you __________________ RIP Gov

03-20-2010, 05:34 PM	#18 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 22,616 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 11,487 Thanked 5,709 Times in 4,024 Posts	Much Love to All My Relations!!!!! __________________ YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance. "We're not here to judge what's good from bad, But to do the things that are right."

03-20-2010, 06:11 PM	#20 (permalink)
turmaline Guest Posts: n/a	We always need you brawthah...to be around that is. As in you're a great person.

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