BigSpliffSmoka

I think I could do it. At least I tell myself I could. I have always had this mind set.
As much as I love having a girlfriend, women are such a pain in the ass. I like being able to pick up and do whatever I want with out any questions and/or nagging.
Maybe I'm just selfish? I don't know.. just wanted to see if any one else had this mentality.

Fuck responsibility

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So if the devil wear Prada,
Adam Eve wear Nada,
I'm in between, but way more fresher.

Mercury

The single life simply cannot compare to the magic of true love. I really believe that. But it's not like a man cannot survive on his own. We are hunters and providers. I once read something interesting that said: When a man is in his 50's and has been single for the most part of his life he almost inevitibaly finds himself with an abudance of money, toys and experience yet completely miserable."

AlteredStateGrl

i'm not sure what the problem is...? why can't you do all of that stuff? why do you have to have a significant other? have at it dude. go, screw, drink, travel, be lazy, have fuckin' fun.

someday maybe you'll want to settle down...you'll know when and if that day comes. until then...do whatcha like.

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*The sweetest kittens have the sharpest claws.*

Geeno

i was just thinking about this today

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my_scatterheart

usually if you're questioning it, you don't have this mentality. Rather, just recently dated a bitch that made you question having this mentality.

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Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

Mercury

^Could be insecurity as well. That is the main reason I don't get intimate with a female. Sharing a bed is a serious boundry issue for me that I need to get over if I'm ever going to live with someone else.

turmaline

Everyone loves to pick up and do whatever they want when they want. It's when you find the right woman who wants the same thing...if you can handle that as a man.

I agree, unless you find that one person who doesn't make you worry, you are set my friend.

~1~

Yeah, miserable...


Trying desperately to fill that void with an endless procession of 20 year old pole dancers and co-eds, buying yet another sports car or boat or traveling to yet another exotic place in a futile search for true happiness.



Fuck you. Money may not buy happiness but I can tell you one thing for sure, I wouldn't take anyone's word on it.

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HTAM

Besides all the obvious things, you know what I really love about my wife?

That I can completely trust her to make the right decision concerning me, if I'm ever unable to myself.

turmaline

i like you guys.

Mafoo

congrats

i wish my trust was not broken so many times, i have such a hard time getting close with people now. i do still desire love but im MUCH MUCH more cautious about where i let my emotions settle

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PLUR
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

HTAM

Hey dude....your trust was broken by THEM not whoever it is that you may meet, and REALLY dig.

Drop that baggage.

turmaline

exactly...no one is the same...Everyone is different...just know the signs, but don't spend your time searching for them.

Mafoo

very true, its my pain avoidance response in overdrive basically(lol that sounds so robotic). for the past couple years i basically went into hermit mode when it comes to relationships, i basically felt like it wasnt even worth taking risks after how bad it hurt the last time. ive kinda broken out of that headspace lately..ive been talking to girls and just kinda getting back in the 'game'. loves great but it can also cut you like nothing else, so now im playing it smart. taking it a little slower and just having fun, instead of diving into a love type of relationship

thanks for the strong words, it makes a difference to hear it from another person rather than just saying it to myself

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PLUR
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

SageTree

I'm not going to make you all puke more than I already have

I love my Wife, she's my perfect consort. When the time is right I hope you find a person that completes you and accepts you totally for who you are, unconditional love. THE person you want to tell things and spend time with.

The word I felt when I saw my Wife for the first time the word that comes to mind for me is relieved. That might not sound too romantic, but it was like the world just became new to me.

I think I really knew who I was when I met my Wife (edit: because I had pretty much just spent 4 months alone, doing what I wanted, other than going to work and the weekends with a girl who was a friend who I had sex and lots of fun with) and from knowing her I've grown further personally and together. If you feel like you need want some time or the rest of your life go for it. My 'advice' here is don't settle. Whether you find happiness in unattached company or a life mate just be open and honest about what you want from it.

I wish you the best in your quest.

The thing in all of your post that really jumps at me is the 'fuck responsibility' line. What is happening that makes this important and you first mentioned earlier in the post.

SageTree

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Geeno

This nigga makes the most valid point

Like sinbad said: at some point youre prob gonna have a stroke and you need someone there to recognize the signs and help your ass out before its too late

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The Rev

There are merits to both being with someone, and being on your own. Someone who's with someone invariably dreams of what he no longer has, and someone who's alone dreams of having someone. Tis human nature. Just be sure if you change your situation, it isn't because you're comparing real problems you have now to ideals you're dreaming about having if things change.



The Rev

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K10

I just went through a bout of struggling with that mentality. I've lived with my girlfriend for a couple years now and it wasn't a big deal in the beginning. Then I started to hate the responsibility it entailed and had a little freak out. Mostly it was just hard to get used to being accountable for my actions. All of a sudden there were questions when I got off work at 10 and stumbled in the door piss drunk at 5 am. We started fighting about the little things which is never a good sign. We seemed to lose all common ground and a really not like each other for a while. This obviously made both of us extremely unhappy. So we had some epic fights and hashed it all out and now I'm happy to say that after some time passed from all that nasty business we're both really happy to be living together. Basically we came to the understanding that we were both being total assholes to each other and that we both require a certain degree of autonomy in our lives and that is fine with both of us.

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Just because you tie dye your wool, doesn't mean
you're not a sheep.
R.I.P. Alice D.

Dr. Nick Nasty

I believe a good part of victory in life is in the timing. I was with someone for 6 years and lost nearly all my liberty--afterward, I gave myself the time to heal--drink, fuck, etc and my fiancée came along just as I was about to swear off relationships at all.

Point being, you never know what's behind the next door.

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SageTree

I had a really similar story. I had to leave a gf of two years, spend a few months wondering and playing with a friend

I moved back to my home state and thought I'd do more of the same there, but I met my Wife and have been with her for 8 years now. Rather than feeling restricted, I feel it sat me free.

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