vanilla

dated for about 7 months, we had our fair share of shaky times, but lately things have been getting a lot better. last week there was some event at school i missed and she was at, a buddy told me she was gettin a bit friendly with this one dude. i calmly talked to her about it the next day, she was cool about it and said she was just hanging out with him there and it was nothing i needed to worry about.

a couple days later im over there, and i get this strange feeling to check her cell phone when shes upstairs. sure enough, the day that this happened (i met up with her later on at another friends) she was texting some guy saying how hot he was. i looked at the time and it was exactly when we were at my friends, where the whole time she sat on my lap on the couch.

obviously, i didnt say anything about it. fast forward a couple days, last day of school, we head to this one party together with a friend also, were drinking and having a good time. a bit later on i go outside for a smoke and i see in some room with a bunch of people shes got her head on this guys lap, just resting there and talking to everyone. ok. about 30 minutes later im walkin around and see in another room, shes laying down under the covers in this bed casually, with this other guy laying beside her. bunch of people in the room, all casually talking. i start getting a bit pissed and it seems like everyones trying to hide it from me by changing subjects or grabbing me and pulling me away into conversations.

i lose it, leave her there without saying a word and drive my buddy home, a little tipsy. she calls me up 15 minutes later clueless, i tell her im pissed and why, tell her its over and hang up. some later calls were place on her part later that night, and i told her to cool out well talk tomorrow. now, 3 days later she wont talk to me at all, says shes not ready. i want her back, only if shell explain and give a damn good reason. what the hell is wrong with me?

it's worth mentioning shes 19 year old super religious girl who has claimed she wants to marry me, and yes, i got her v card.

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turmaline

you did the right thing.

It sucks though.

she was being selfish

ionlylooklazy

drop that bitch, she sounds like bad business

turmaline

take it as an accomplishment and move on

The Rev

She's enjoying the attention more than she's respecting the relationship, IMO. That's not uncommon when you're a teenager. My advice is to not pursue her. Chill, and wait to see what she does. If she wants to fix it, she'll make the effort.

BTW, congrats on the V-Card.



The Rev

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turmaline

Women craaaave attention lol.

AlteredStateGrl

i can't believe you regret breaking up with her. she didn't respect you and she made you look like a tool in front of all of your/her friends by being all over some other guys jock right in front of you.

she didn't call you 15 minutes later clueless...LOL. she knew exactly what she was doing. she played clueless and you bought it.

wowza.

and you want her back.

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*The sweetest kittens have the sharpest claws.*

The Rev

^
Ouch. ASG pulls no punches!



The Rev

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burnt_hiphophead

*note to self*
you can casually lay under the covers with someone in front of your partner.

Really though, that sounds like bigtime drama. I know what it's like to want to go back, but maybe you need some time too to think about whether it's really worth it. It's nothing wrong with you, you just like her but by the sounds of it she's jerking you around in the bad way.

Actually, I typed that out and am gonna leave it, but just listen to the Rev up there. That's what I meant haha.

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Wildcard, bitches! - Charlie Kelly

angelboy303

give it time homie...thats all u need believe me. in the mean time try doing anything u can to get ur mind off of her. hanging out with friends, playing video games, lighting one up. besides, like people already said she sounded like trouble

i love ganj

treat a woman like an angel and a ho like a slut. especially young ones

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everything that glitters ain't gold

Smith&Stoned

She's not super religious if she's sucking dudes off in front of you.

bubbler211

dude you did the right thing! I too went through a routine like this with my last wife,i had enough of her ass for a lifetime,nobody wants to be around this kind of shit! Just walk away and chalk it up to experience,its not worth a possible trip to jail,if you walk away from this you will smell like a rose! the only thing that will ever be said about her is hey theres that ho that was blowing jerry last week at some lame ass party!

vanilla

she just had her head rested on his leg.

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Captain Cannabis

dude. you have to realize. you did the right thing. getting laid is sweet, but its not worth dealing with some sociopath whore. you already manned up and did what you had to do, don't be a pussy and reverse your manlyism.

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fuck the monkeys

Mikey

i know exactly how you feel
you did the right thing
even though your kinda feeling needy your better then that
the situation reminds me alot of my past, i think we're both suckers for abuse

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RIP Gov

vanilla

yeah mikey, she can be a bit abusive
thanks so much for all the advice everyone, it really means a lot
i still care about her a lot and want to work it out, but she definitely has to come to me first.

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JcP

Vanilla:

You don't care a lot about her. You care a lot about who you thought she was.

That behavior by anyone in a serious relationship is absolutely unacceptable. Could you have handled it better? Absolutely. But that doesn't negate her actions.

I think you should apologize to her for acting rashly, but that's it. The rest is on her, not you.

I don't know how old you are, but it sounds to be like this is a "teenage" relationship. Where you profess extreme feelings to one another (and you believe it, don't get me wrong) without really understanding what it means to be in a relationship.
The behavior she's exhibiting points to someone who's feet are three feet off the ground and clueless about what she's actually interested in. She lost her virginity to you? So she's only been with you? There's no way in hell a modern girl or boy for that matter is not going to need time to sow her wild oats if you will...

I know it seems rough/hard to believe when you're in the thick of it, but I don't think the "love" you feel for her is anywhere close to the kind of connection and love you'll have later in life. It's valid...it's poignant...and in a way my first "love" means more to me than anything else...but not in the same way anymore. It evolves into something less about wanting the person back and more into wishing the person you thought you had was real.

I say move on. Easier said than done, but she's obviously not on the same page as you are. And that's okay. She needs to be who she needs to be, just as you do. But that does NOT mean it's healthy for you two to be together.

"working it out" isn't where your head should be. The issue isn't something to work out. The issue isn't how YOU behaved. The issue is that she's obviously wanting something else, but also wants you. And that will only spell trouble in the long run. TRUST ME.

Good luck man. Breaking up is the shits


PS--- looking on her phone is a pretty telling sign you're not ready for the kind of relationship you're pining for either. Not meant to be mean, but trust is the #1 issue in adult relationships. And while you might think you had "cause" to spy on her...and your suspicions were proven true...the reality is that you don't trust her. And the girl you fell for doesn't exist for you anymore. Nor can she come back, as that girl was in your head the whole time. This behavior is part of who she truly is. Not the 19 year old virgin who says she wants to marry you.
She's got a lot of growing up to do, imo.

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Just look out around us, people fightin their wars...
They think they'll be happy when they've settled their scores...
Let's lay down our weapons
and hold us apart
be still for just a minute
try to open our hearts
MORE LOVE.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Rev It's not what you see, it's that you're looking.

Bearsy

NO. NO. NO.

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Peace seeker

u did the right thing

returning to her is gonna be a mistake

dont look back



find a girl that doesnt fuck around and doesnt lie