Bearsy

Or do I?

A lot of people, especially those who struggle with addictions and failures in their lives, feel that they hate themselves.
"I hate myself because I'm fat"
"I hate myself because I can't stop drinking"
"I hate myself because X caused me to lose Y and now this is Z"
Etc.
And because of this self hate, they get depressed...

But why would one get depressed if they hated themselves?
Would you get depressed if someone you hated was doing poorly?
No.
So really what it is, is that you love yourself, and you realize what you are doing is hurting someone that you love and care about, and this makes you feel bad.

I drink to make myself feel good... why would I spend $100 in a night to make myself feel good if I hated myself? I wouldn't. I wouldn't give my neighbor whom I hate $100 and tell him to go feel good, so it's obviously not a self-hate thing.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but this just popped into my head and I thought I'd share it with you all, and maybe someone can extrapolate on what I'm saying, or shoot me down, or maybe this could help someone who's going through a rough time.

I don't know.

Mettā, Darien.

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Mercury

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmm...... I don't know about that one. Does that add up?

Sorry bro but this post strikes me as a classic case of rationalizing. You're rationalizing your drinking because you're ashamed. That's what I learned in rehab. Also I don't think you're being fourthcoming with us. What is the real scope of your drinking? How much and how often is it?

Unless you're drinking Cristal, $100 per night is way too much, by anyones standards.

Bearsy

My drinking isn't much at all, and I've never spent more than 30 bucks on alcohol in a night(a couple 30 racks of cheap beer between a few people)... and I rarely drink more than twice a week. I was just generalizing a price for the sake of the thread.

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Mafoo

i think deep down you know how you should be and be depressed is a product of living incongruently with what your ideal self is

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PLUR
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

The Rev

I think they hate themselves because they blame themselves for their unhappiness.

I hate myself because I'm fat = I made myself fat and I can't get any pussy now, so fuck me for doing that.

I hate myself because I'm an alcoholic = I feel like shit all the time and it's my own fault because I drink too much, so fuck me for that.

It's not hating yourself for not measuring up to your own expectations, it's because not measuring up is what's keeping you from being happy.



The Rev

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Sir-Ex

Shut the fuck up. Take some mushrooms. Think about you for a while. Go from there.

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Smile

Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

Peace seeker

if u wanna feel better, (for starters) stop drinking. in a month you will feel much better!alcohol is a freakin poison.

Me and my friends used to drink half a bottle every night in our party years. We were stupid.


During our early 20's we do all kinds of stupid shit. Drinking every night till we get pissed drunk, smoking endlesly, not getting enough sleep, fucking without condoms, putting oursleves and others in danger, driving drunk, doing shady drugs etc etc etc

At the time it seems "cool". but in reality it is NOT.

then at one point, all this shit gets "old" (around 30-35 yo) and u start to have other interests in life.

José

It's true, one of my dads friends is 75 years old and he still calls people bad names(the people he likes). He never had kids and he hasn't changed since he was 30 years old. That's what I hope to be like. All he does is go hunting and fishing all around the world.

verklingen

shifting perspective harmoniously ftw

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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

The Rev

When I took mushrooms last, I realized that "you" doesn't exist.



The Rev

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my_scatterheart

It sounds like you crave attention in the way a child does, no offense. Your posts have been really inconsistent lately, so I hope things are ok with you. Fact of the matter is one day you're a raging alcoholic, and the next your drinking isn't much at all. Get over the self hatred as fast, and as best you can. It truly gets you nowhere. Not in your personal, professional, social or internal life. Nowhere. Give yourself your own attention. The world moves too fast, and most people aren't going to give two shits if you feel sorry for yourself.

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Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

tedkennedy

i hate myself sometimes, its not a good habit to have.

you can build yourself up to a point where you dont hate yourself by doing positive things. i think you realize that alcohol isnt really making you happy. bukowsky was a bittch.

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matthew munari

Waves

Are you serious Bears?

This is why all addicts do what they do.

they spend alot of money to make themselves feel good with drugs because thats the only way they can do it. (make themselves feel good.)

just sayin.

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On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

turmaline

Bearsy.

I'm sure you know exactly what would make your life better. It's just such a pain in the ass, trying to kick yourself in the ass, to get the ball rolling.

Is there anyone that can help you get the ball rolling?

or anyone who can keep you motivated?

I'd drag you out myself, but the border y'know

Waves

Also stuff thats totally out of your control can play a huge part in alcohol addiction.

like your genes.

my dad was an alcoholic, and when i started drinking in high school it ended up with me sitting by myself in my room with a big fifth every weekend. i saw what was up and ended that asap, now i dont drink at all. i made that decision for myself, you know?

and thats really all we can do, is make our own decisions for ourselves. but pay attention, broha

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On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

turmaline

yep.

Jenna_Grows

The very first step in feeling better is to stop saying "I hate myself because of ....." Seriously.. stop it.. When your internal voice starts off with that self hate stuff, control your mind..be aware...Stop listening to shit about yourself.....

Here's a technique if you are interested...sounds corny but it works..

When you catch yourself self talking hate...STOP...Put your hand on your heart chakra...(it may feel warm, ~around your breastbone), close your eyes, take a deep cleansing breathe and ask your soul for guidance.. it will come...Think about a tree for heaven's sake.. whatever.. but stop it. (The first few days I did this.. I bet i did it 250 times... I was amazed at how often ....)

How can a person feel wonderful if they are constantly beating themselves down on the inside. Might want to ask yourself "Why am I doing this?" What's really behind it? Chances are, if you go down deep enough, you will find fear..It's part of the human experience... not worthy of love because?...... Come on...we are all beautiful, celestial beings....we ARE love...

Self tallk pitfalls:
avoid judgements..about yourself or others..
avoid shame,
avoid guilt,
delete the need to understand
avoid comparisons
avoid blame

Crap self talk leads to crap behaviour which leads to more crap self talk and more crap behaviour.. Many perform that dance for a lifetime... but at the end of that lifetime.. is that what you really want to take back to where-ever you came from? Gee,.. I can really beat myself like a MASTER and had rotten human experience...Ok.. maybe some of you need that for a good basis for comparison but seriously...

I am ending this life having as many laughs and thrills as possible.. I can do "sad".. It's a rich full emotion when you remove yourself enough to really look at it.... Moved on to happy happy joy joy..I prefer it..... that's where the Magic lies..

Hope this helps..

José

^this guys last two posts are the best in this thread.

Purd Hupley

Depression is rage turned inward. It's "normal" to be depressed when you hate yourself. I fight it a lot myself. I pretty much have resigned myself to this being my lot. But I still keep trying. It's a self perpetuating thing, tho. And it's hard to fight it. When you can accept that not everything your head tells you is gospel, you've come a long way. I'm not sure myself what to do beyond that.

wellfleation

And some people like to just escape reality every once in a while. That's okay, it's human as well as animalistic behavior (yes, elephants and moneys purposely get drunk on fermented fruit). Moderation is the key, however, especially with alcohol as opposed to mj in my opinion. Alcohol fuels depression.

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FIGHTPOWER