FUUUCK; I'm getting Divorced

Mikey · 05-10-2010, 09:57 PM

it was unevitable
it really really sucks

it hurts really bad right now

but fuck
we just HATE EACH OTHER

i mean

fuck

i dont even have words for this post

its over

its all over

**Mafoo** · 05-10-2010, 10:02 PM

how long have you both felt like that?

José · 05-10-2010, 10:13 PM

ohhh shiitt.. that blowsss dude.

fuck man.

Flamingnun · 05-10-2010, 11:17 PM

Damn dude.

Yahookas here if you need us bro.

Bad dog · 05-11-2010, 01:54 AM

dry your eyes mate, just walk away, you know her minds made up, there's plenty more fish in the sea................. ....

The Rev · 05-11-2010, 02:06 AM

Did you talk about counselling or any of that? Or is it one of those "if one of us doesn't leave on two legs, one of us is leaving on a stretcher" kind of deals? Whatever the circumstances, I'm sorry to hear it. I was there not so long ago, myself, and even if you're one of those people who's relieved by the thought, it still sucks.

The Rev

verklingen · 05-11-2010, 07:00 AM

that's lousy man, but whatever happens i hope it's for the best. why do you guys hate each other, or how do you know you hate each other? there are people in my life who i at one point thought i hated, but i later recognized that it resulted from a severe lack of communication. almost absolute.

it's easy to get into a routine like that, where there's very little meaningful communication. you might say it's easy to be together, but harder to stay connected. it takes work. it takes two.

love ya mikey, we'll help ya through this any way we can

**SageTree** · 05-11-2010, 09:03 AM

I love you Mikey, and I don't know what else to say man.

I'm sorry I'm not more available to talk with right now, but just know even though I'm far away, you'll be and are in my heart/prayers/meditations.

05-11-2010, 11:16 AM

It sucks but in the end you'll feel alot better when you aren't cringing everytime one of you says something.

Hugs Mikey.

**AlteredStateGrl** · 05-11-2010, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bad dog

dry your eyes mate, just walk away, you know her minds made up, there's plenty more fish in the sea................. ....

yeah, this would be fine if they don't have any kids...

do you have kids mikey?

verklingen · 05-11-2010, 12:15 PM

i know his wife came in with one at least. . .

**AlteredStateGrl** · 05-11-2010, 12:52 PM

well, you can't just walk away from your kids.

Flamingnun · 05-11-2010, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlteredStateGrl

yeah, this would be fine if they don't have any kids...

/is song lyrics, probably not literal advice

**AlteredStateGrl** · 05-11-2010, 01:41 PM

ok nun.

the jist of the lyrics is to just leave. song or not, i was just pointing out, obviously, that although ideally it'd by nice to just leave and get over it, it's not that simple when children are involved.

pretty sure you saw the big picture of what i was saying and why, you're pretty smart.

José · 05-11-2010, 05:11 PM

I can't even imagine what it would be like to get divorced.

mikey, are you alive and well?

Mercury · 05-11-2010, 05:39 PM

thats insane, you're always talkin about her around here. ya'll just went crabbing and everything.

badgoalie85 · 05-11-2010, 08:56 PM

sucks brah. sorry. gonna hurt for awhile obviously, but you're still young. maybe you all just got into something you weren't ready for. keep your head up and remember that life is long and don't let one unfortunate event ruin all that it has to offer.

hijabihippie · 05-12-2010, 07:10 AM

Mikey

Purd Hupley · 05-12-2010, 09:47 AM

It's a bitch, and it's fucking hard. My wife told me for 10 years she wanted to improve things, and if my various behaviors changed, it would. For every behavior I improved, she would come up with 3 more grievences.

Two things flipped the switch for me. She demanded we go into counseling. One session the shrink asked what her major grievance was. I was expecting her to say how much of a prick I was or something. Her answer was she was pissed at me because of the house we'd bought 10 years earlier. She said she knew moving closer to work and such was the right thing to do, but she was still mad. The other was when, at the end of the session, the therapist said at the next we were going to talk about the sex thing. She'de been making the appointments, and she just never made another one. It made me realize that maybe the problem was more than just me. And that nothing I did was going to help. So I just shut down. When I stopped approaching her for sex, she realized that hammer was gone, so she started bitching about the bills. The day I had to go to the funeral home to make arrangements for my dad's service, she bitched because I came home late. She asked if I was out paying bills. The next day, when I didn't go to work, she gtold me she couldn't believe I was taking the hole week off "just because your dad died". I mean, what do you do with that? I just gave up. She'd try to engage in fighting, and I'd either walk away, or tell her that she was pissed again like always and that it was no big deal. It was hell.

My point is, the day she was done moving her shit out, it was like a huge 135lb weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Sure, it wasn't how I saw my life turning out, but it was a relief when it was over. I changed the locks, too her name off the bank accounts, and started the the process of trying to move on. And I have. It all ended as I was losing my job, too. But at the end of the day, it was all good. I hated my boss and co- workers, and I was where I hated my marraige. It's 9 months later, new job, new girl and her son, and while my life is not perfect by any means, I'm pretty happy.

No matter who's at fault, her , you, both, when it's over it doesn't matter who's to blame. Removing toxins from your life (and hers) can be nothing but a good thing in the long run.

I really hope you can get past this and live your life the way you should.

Mikey · 05-12-2010, 01:27 PM

thanks pud, what you said actually made me feel alot better today

and i want to thank you all for the kind words

it's one of those i've known for a very very long time it was the right thing to do, just extremely hard to let go

my whole entire life i've done wtv i wanted whenever, ive hitchhiked across canada twice from vancouver to montreal and hopped trains and hitchiked from montreal to vancouver

i was a loose cannon partying all over canada never having a sense of stability, every piece of ID i've owned had an adress I didn't live at anymore

being married gave me for the first time a sense of stability

but after a while nothing feels stable anymore

i don't know if i'm making sense
but that's pretty much it

thanks for all the kind words people

05-10-2010, 09:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,443 Thanks: 1,144 Thanked 2,246 Times in 1,475 Posts	FUUUCK; I'm getting Divorced it was unevitable it really really sucks it hurts really bad right now but fuck we just HATE EACH OTHER i mean fuck i dont even have words for this post its over its all over __________________ RIP Gov

05-10-2010, 10:02 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mafoo nice daze Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: the anguish of anticipated transformation Posts: 5,975 Thanks: 3,776 Thanked 2,652 Times in 1,698 Posts	how long have you both felt like that? __________________ PLUR For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

05-10-2010, 11:17 PM	#4 (permalink)
Flamingnun Shpadoinkle Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: roflmao Posts: 17,491 Thanks: 1,046 Thanked 2,633 Times in 1,185 Posts	Damn dude. Yahookas here if you need us bro. __________________

05-11-2010, 02:06 AM	#6 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,865 Thanks: 5,018 Thanked 5,420 Times in 2,865 Posts	Did you talk about counselling or any of that? Or is it one of those "if one of us doesn't leave on two legs, one of us is leaving on a stretcher" kind of deals? Whatever the circumstances, I'm sorry to hear it. I was there not so long ago, myself, and even if you're one of those people who's relieved by the thought, it still sucks. The Rev __________________ Budforce - My Friend August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012

05-11-2010, 07:00 AM	#7 (permalink)
verklingen Radical Dreamer Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: texas Posts: 8,005 Thanks: 811 Thanked 1,491 Times in 946 Posts	that's lousy man, but whatever happens i hope it's for the best. why do you guys hate each other, or how do you know you hate each other? there are people in my life who i at one point thought i hated, but i later recognized that it resulted from a severe lack of communication. almost absolute. it's easy to get into a routine like that, where there's very little meaningful communication. you might say it's easy to be together, but harder to stay connected. it takes work. it takes two. love ya mikey, we'll help ya through this any way we can __________________ “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” rip matt

05-10-2010, 10:13 PM	#3 (permalink)
José YaHookan Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 3,364 Thanks: 62 Thanked 147 Times in 72 Posts	ohhh shiitt.. that blowsss dude. fuck man.

05-11-2010, 09:03 AM	#8 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,768 Times in 4,664 Posts	I love you Mikey, and I don't know what else to say man. I'm sorry I'm not more available to talk with right now, but just know even though I'm far away, you'll be and are in my heart/prayers/meditations. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

05-11-2010, 11:16 AM	#9 (permalink)
turmaline Guest Posts: n/a	It sucks but in the end you'll feel alot better when you aren't cringing everytime one of you says something. Hugs Mikey.

05-11-2010, 12:15 PM	#11 (permalink)
verklingen Radical Dreamer Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: texas Posts: 8,005 Thanks: 811 Thanked 1,491 Times in 946 Posts	i know his wife came in with one at least. . . __________________ “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” rip matt

05-11-2010, 12:52 PM	#12 (permalink)
AlteredStateGrl (òÓ,)_\,,/ Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 10,426 Thanks: 2,181 Thanked 1,823 Times in 1,115 Posts	well, you can't just walk away from your kids. __________________ The sweetest kittens have the sharpest claws.

05-11-2010, 01:41 PM	#14 (permalink)
AlteredStateGrl (òÓ,)_\,,/ Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 10,426 Thanks: 2,181 Thanked 1,823 Times in 1,115 Posts	ok nun. the jist of the lyrics is to just leave. song or not, i was just pointing out, obviously, that although ideally it'd by nice to just leave and get over it, it's not that simple when children are involved. pretty sure you saw the big picture of what i was saying and why, you're pretty smart. __________________ The sweetest kittens have the sharpest claws.

05-11-2010, 05:11 PM	#15 (permalink)
José YaHookan Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 3,364 Thanks: 62 Thanked 147 Times in 72 Posts	I can't even imagine what it would be like to get divorced. mikey, are you alive and well? Last edited by AlteredStateGrl; 05-11-2010 at 05:36 PM.

05-11-2010, 05:39 PM	#16 (permalink)
Mercury Special Delivery Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: The States Posts: 8,150 Thanks: 294 Thanked 801 Times in 539 Posts	thats insane, you're always talkin about her around here. ya'll just went crabbing and everything.

05-11-2010, 08:56 PM	#17 (permalink)
badgoalie85 Spiraling Out Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: NoVA Posts: 1,085 Thanks: 97 Thanked 454 Times in 288 Posts	sucks brah. sorry. gonna hurt for awhile obviously, but you're still young. maybe you all just got into something you weren't ready for. keep your head up and remember that life is long and don't let one unfortunate event ruin all that it has to offer. __________________ Pursue happiness. To each his own.

05-12-2010, 07:10 AM	#18 (permalink)
hijabihippie YaHookan Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,481 Thanks: 1,152 Thanked 655 Times in 515 Posts	Mikey

05-12-2010, 09:47 AM	#19 (permalink)
Purd Hupley YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: The Pacific Northwest Posts: 222 Thanks: 1 Thanked 90 Times in 57 Posts	It's a bitch, and it's fucking hard. My wife told me for 10 years she wanted to improve things, and if my various behaviors changed, it would. For every behavior I improved, she would come up with 3 more grievences. Two things flipped the switch for me. She demanded we go into counseling. One session the shrink asked what her major grievance was. I was expecting her to say how much of a prick I was or something. Her answer was she was pissed at me because of the house we'd bought 10 years earlier. She said she knew moving closer to work and such was the right thing to do, but she was still mad. The other was when, at the end of the session, the therapist said at the next we were going to talk about the sex thing. She'de been making the appointments, and she just never made another one. It made me realize that maybe the problem was more than just me. And that nothing I did was going to help. So I just shut down. When I stopped approaching her for sex, she realized that hammer was gone, so she started bitching about the bills. The day I had to go to the funeral home to make arrangements for my dad's service, she bitched because I came home late. She asked if I was out paying bills. The next day, when I didn't go to work, she gtold me she couldn't believe I was taking the hole week off "just because your dad died". I mean, what do you do with that? I just gave up. She'd try to engage in fighting, and I'd either walk away, or tell her that she was pissed again like always and that it was no big deal. It was hell. My point is, the day she was done moving her shit out, it was like a huge 135lb weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Sure, it wasn't how I saw my life turning out, but it was a relief when it was over. I changed the locks, too her name off the bank accounts, and started the the process of trying to move on. And I have. It all ended as I was losing my job, too. But at the end of the day, it was all good. I hated my boss and co- workers, and I was where I hated my marraige. It's 9 months later, new job, new girl and her son, and while my life is not perfect by any means, I'm pretty happy. No matter who's at fault, her , you, both, when it's over it doesn't matter who's to blame. Removing toxins from your life (and hers) can be nothing but a good thing in the long run. I really hope you can get past this and live your life the way you should.

05-12-2010, 01:27 PM	#20 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,443 Thanks: 1,144 Thanked 2,246 Times in 1,475 Posts	thanks pud, what you said actually made me feel alot better today and i want to thank you all for the kind words it's one of those i've known for a very very long time it was the right thing to do, just extremely hard to let go my whole entire life i've done wtv i wanted whenever, ive hitchhiked across canada twice from vancouver to montreal and hopped trains and hitchiked from montreal to vancouver i was a loose cannon partying all over canada never having a sense of stability, every piece of ID i've owned had an adress I didn't live at anymore being married gave me for the first time a sense of stability but after a while nothing feels stable anymore i don't know if i'm making sense but that's pretty much it thanks for all the kind words people __________________ RIP Gov

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode