Friend of mine doesn't know how to talk to women

Bearsy · 06-27-2010, 11:20 PM

So a buddy of mine(one of my closest friends) is a really great dude. He's smart, funny, has a great job, looks decent, and has good money. Only problem is he is an absolute fool when it comes to females.
He pretty much stalks them, and claims hes in love with them after meeting them once or twice. He sent a mutual friends cousin pictures of his dick the day after he met her. And then called her a slut when she didn't want to go out with him.
I love the dude, he's been there for me when most people aren't. But he needs to change his shit. He's been finding cute female friends of mine on facebook adding them and the creeping the shit out of them. Blowing up phones all day, "I really care about you, I'm sick of being lonely just give me a chance" kind of shit.

I can't just cut him out of my life, I don't have any issues with him cause I'm not a chick so we're cool. But I've been finding because of his actions it sort of prevents me from hanging with the people hes bothered. At least when hes around. How do I get him see the error of his ways without making him hate me for calling him out on his shit? Like I said in the other thread I made recently I don't have many legit friends and I'm not doing well so I need to keep him around.

I want him to be happy, he deserves it. He's been through a lot, but he's obviously going about it in a very wrong way. I don't really have much experience in the relationship field. Any, really. The only legit relationship I've been in ended with "thanks but no thanks, I led you on for weeks and now I'm gonna go back to my ex because of this this and that" so I can't exactly tell him I've got the answers.

Grieves · 06-27-2010, 11:36 PM

It's out of your hands, you could fill his head with anything, but it sounds like he wouldn't listen anyways...Just let him get his ass kicked by one of those chicks, brothers, ex's or just someone who doesn't put up with that shit...Or you could be the one to do it but that could backfire...

Just keep any potentials as far away as possible...

Yes, I am suggesting you let your friend get his ass kicked for the greater good...

Canuck Wisdom · 06-28-2010, 11:17 AM

Agreed ^

I mean, be friendly about it, let him know your trying to help, but make it clear that creeping girls out wont help his cause.

What he needs is some grace with his situation. As hard as it can be to accept, when he stops trying so hard, and finds come patience, something right for him will come his way.

Ego Tripping · 07-02-2010, 10:25 AM

Honestly, that shit is the potential for the crazy serial killer bs that you see all the time, like that dude that shot up the gym full of women a few months back, just because he "couldn't talk to women" and was completely paralyzed by it. Not saying he's the same case, but it sounds like a recipe for disaster; he's afraid of rejection yet does everything he can to self-sabotage himself into being rejected. That fear can potentially turn to anger which turns to revenge which can lead to unfortunate circumstances.

I agree, call him out on his shit and then probably cut him loose. You can't offer help where it is not requested, or else its taken as an attack from the very person you're trying to help!

I wouldn't say you 'need to keep him around.' A friend is someone who you respect and subsequently confide in and share with. If you feel this way about his persona in general (just because you're not a girl doesn't mean you aren't affected), then he's really not the kind of friend you need in the first place. A good friendship is a mutual respect and admiration, not a "Aw man, this guy is kinda fucking creepy." Don't delude yourself for the sake of not being alone.

Just my two sense.

tedkennedy · 07-03-2010, 10:10 AM

i understand that you like this person, but i also question the integrity of a person who treated women the way you have described. its unacceptable and if he does not listen to reason and change his behavior in my opinion he is a sociopath and is to be avoided.

the-who? · 07-05-2010, 05:23 AM

I don't see what the problem is I always send strangers pictures of my junk.

Geeno · 07-05-2010, 05:32 AM

You gotta get used to the idea of deading friends like its your job.

Why let someone hold you back?

If someone brings negativity into your life, its your bad for keeping them around.

Sir-Ex · 07-16-2010, 09:41 AM

Yeah I had a friend like that. My bros and I surrounded him and stabbed him to death. He fell to the ground in like this slow motion, silent way, and I glanced up at my friend across from me and his eyes were glossy with rage, and his lips trembled with the deep waves of release we were all experiencing at the time. The air stunk like blood and sweat, and we stood over his body for what seemed like hours, breathing in the early fumes of his demise, before heading down to the bar to get a few pints and never speaking of it again.

Ego Tripping · 08-11-2010, 01:22 PM

^ Are you fucking serious, man?

**mothernature** · 08-11-2010, 01:50 PM

Bearsy,

Your friend has no respect for women. That is very clear. If you continue to hang out with him, as he is, then you really will be lonely, because no woman will want to hang with you because of him.

What he does, reflects on you. In this kinda situation, it doesn't matter what good qualities you may have, they will be over shadowed by him being a pervert.

You have to understand that, that sort of shit is scary to women. We don't like being stalked.
If you allow this dude access to your friends, and he is acting this way, then you are helping him to do this shit. You get me???

I don't know you well, but I feel you are too good of a person to be giving your respect to this guy. He doesn't deserve you. You don't owe him anything.

Sir-Ex · 08-11-2010, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ego Tripping

^ Are you fucking serious, man?

Sir-Ex · 08-11-2010, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mothernature

Bearsy,

Your friend has no respect for women. That is very clear. If you continue to hang out with him, as he is, then you really will be lonely, because no woman will want to hang with you because of him.

What he does, reflects on you. In this kinda situation, it doesn't matter what good qualities you may have, they will be over shadowed by him being a pervert.

You have to understand that, that sort of shit is scary to women. We don't like being stalked.
If you allow this dude access to your friends, and he is acting this way, then you are helping him to do this shit. You get me???

I don't know you well, but I feel you are too good of a person to be giving your respect to this guy. He doesn't deserve you. You don't owe him anything.

your way of speak is creepy to me think

Ego Tripping · 08-11-2010, 04:48 PM

Hey man, you never know....reefer madness.

shai_hulud · 08-11-2010, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ego Tripping

^ Are you fucking serious, man?

LOL

**mothernature** · 08-12-2010, 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir-Ex

your way of speak is creepy to me think

what 'chew trippin foo'.

yo' nigga has nahh respect fo' biAtchez and shit.

what he do reflects on ya. Ya' know what I'm sayin'?

you too pimp-tight fo' dat.

better?

JcP · 08-12-2010, 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ego Tripping

Honestly, that shit is the potential for the crazy serial killer bs that you see all the time, like that dude that shot up the gym full of women a few months back, just because he "couldn't talk to women" and was completely paralyzed by it. Not saying he's the same case, but it sounds like a recipe for disaster; he's afraid of rejection yet does everything he can to self-sabotage himself into being rejected. That fear can potentially turn to anger which turns to revenge which can lead to unfortunate circumstances.

I agree, call him out on his shit and then probably cut him loose. You can't offer help where it is not requested, or else its taken as an attack from the very person you're trying to help!

I wouldn't say you 'need to keep him around.' A friend is someone who you respect and subsequently confide in and share with. If you feel this way about his persona in general (just because you're not a girl doesn't mean you aren't affected), then he's really not the kind of friend you need in the first place. A good friendship is a mutual respect and admiration, not a "Aw man, this guy is kinda fucking creepy." Don't delude yourself for the sake of not being alone.

Just my two sense.

this. Bearsy, that guy doesn't sound creepy. Creepy is maybe a feeling you get or maybe a "did he mean that?" statement.

This guy sounds like he has some serious (re: SERIOUS) sexual dysfunction. Sending photos of your penis to people you barely know, stalking people, claiming love after a date and then getting rageful when someone does not reciprocate are not signs of creepiness. They are signs of mental issues.

Frankly, you should be encouraging him to get help, not trying to set him up.

If after one partial date he gets that angry when he's rejected, imagine what it'll be like after a short-term relationship?

Sir-Ex · 08-12-2010, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mothernature

what 'chew trippin foo'.

yo' nigga has nahh respect fo' biAtchez and shit.

what he do reflects on ya. Ya' know what I'm sayin'?

you too pimp-tight fo' dat.

better?

hahahaha yes yes

hijabihippie · 08-12-2010, 08:49 AM

"If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas."

This guy has some serious problems. Friends like that, you don't need.

06-27-2010, 11:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
Grieves The Worst Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Interstate 8 Posts: 12,090 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 2,577 Thanked 3,117 Times in 1,712 Posts	It's out of your hands, you could fill his head with anything, but it sounds like he wouldn't listen anyways...Just let him get his ass kicked by one of those chicks, brothers, ex's or just someone who doesn't put up with that shit...Or you could be the one to do it but that could backfire... Just keep any potentials as far away as possible... Yes, I am suggesting you let your friend get his ass kicked for the greater good... __________________ "And no matter what they said dollar is not your friend and it's the feelings that are hard to know are the feelings that all come slow No matter what they said dollar is not your friend and these feelings that so hard to know are the feelings that wont let go No don't let go, till you find a home World Unite and I'll love you forever"

07-02-2010, 10:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
Ego Tripping Are you in? Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 13,468 Thanks: 229 Thanked 665 Times in 443 Posts	Honestly, that shit is the potential for the crazy serial killer bs that you see all the time, like that dude that shot up the gym full of women a few months back, just because he "couldn't talk to women" and was completely paralyzed by it. Not saying he's the same case, but it sounds like a recipe for disaster; he's afraid of rejection yet does everything he can to self-sabotage himself into being rejected. That fear can potentially turn to anger which turns to revenge which can lead to unfortunate circumstances. I agree, call him out on his shit and then probably cut him loose. You can't offer help where it is not requested, or else its taken as an attack from the very person you're trying to help! I wouldn't say you 'need to keep him around.' A friend is someone who you respect and subsequently confide in and share with. If you feel this way about his persona in general (just because you're not a girl doesn't mean you aren't affected), then he's really not the kind of friend you need in the first place. A good friendship is a mutual respect and admiration, not a "Aw man, this guy is kinda fucking creepy." Don't delude yourself for the sake of not being alone. Just my two sense. __________________ God appears, and God is light, To those poor souls who dwell in night; But does a human form display To those who dwell in realms of day.

07-03-2010, 10:10 AM	#5 (permalink)
tedkennedy now 14% blacker Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 3,229 Thanks: 71 Thanked 585 Times in 364 Posts	i understand that you like this person, but i also question the integrity of a person who treated women the way you have described. its unacceptable and if he does not listen to reason and change his behavior in my opinion he is a sociopath and is to be avoided. __________________ matthew munari

07-05-2010, 05:23 AM	#6 (permalink)
the-who? watching adultswim Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 982 Thanks: 16 Thanked 183 Times in 133 Posts	I don't see what the problem is I always send strangers pictures of my junk. __________________ Please, aint nobody fucking after her. I'm outta here soon as I fix the flux capacitor.

07-16-2010, 09:41 AM	#8 (permalink)
Sir-Ex Learner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Edmonton, Alberta Posts: 11,416 Thanks: 1,726 Thanked 3,820 Times in 2,258 Posts	Yeah I had a friend like that. My bros and I surrounded him and stabbed him to death. He fell to the ground in like this slow motion, silent way, and I glanced up at my friend across from me and his eyes were glossy with rage, and his lips trembled with the deep waves of release we were all experiencing at the time. The air stunk like blood and sweat, and we stood over his body for what seemed like hours, breathing in the early fumes of his demise, before heading down to the bar to get a few pints and never speaking of it again. __________________ Smile Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

08-11-2010, 01:22 PM	#9 (permalink)
Ego Tripping Are you in? Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 13,468 Thanks: 229 Thanked 665 Times in 443 Posts	^ Are you fucking serious, man? __________________ God appears, and God is light, To those poor souls who dwell in night; But does a human form display To those who dwell in realms of day.

08-11-2010, 01:50 PM	#10 (permalink)
mothernature ancientbongmaster Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,232 Thanks: 1,201 Thanked 809 Times in 487 Posts	Bearsy, Your friend has no respect for women. That is very clear. If you continue to hang out with him, as he is, then you really will be lonely, because no woman will want to hang with you because of him. What he does, reflects on you. In this kinda situation, it doesn't matter what good qualities you may have, they will be over shadowed by him being a pervert. You have to understand that, that sort of shit is scary to women. We don't like being stalked. If you allow this dude access to your friends, and he is acting this way, then you are helping him to do this shit. You get me??? I don't know you well, but I feel you are too good of a person to be giving your respect to this guy. He doesn't deserve you. You don't owe him anything.

08-11-2010, 04:48 PM	#13 (permalink)
Ego Tripping Are you in? Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 13,468 Thanks: 229 Thanked 665 Times in 443 Posts	Hey man, you never know....reefer madness. __________________ God appears, and God is light, To those poor souls who dwell in night; But does a human form display To those who dwell in realms of day.

08-12-2010, 08:49 AM	#18 (permalink)
hijabihippie YaHookan Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,481 Thanks: 1,152 Thanked 655 Times in 515 Posts	"If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas." This guy has some serious problems. Friends like that, you don't need.

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