overcoming ptsd - Page 2

Štulic · 07-25-2010, 12:33 PM

Last night I saw a documentary about MDMA from 2004 and a good portion of the movie was about successful trials and treatments of PTSD and anxiety patients with MDMA, before the DEA made it illegal.

In fact just google PTSD + MDMA and you'll be surprised how many reliable sources of documented peer-reviewed clinical trials with countless success stories are available.
Some doctors even believe that MDMA is possibly the best medicine for treating severe cases of PTSD and previously untreatable deep-rooted traumas, I'm surprised in this whole thread nobody even mentioned this option...

AfroHorse · 07-25-2010, 01:07 PM

although mdma can be problematic if used unwisely, no doubt

Štulic · 07-25-2010, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AfroHorse

although mdma can be problematic if used unwisely, no doubt

Well of course self-medication could be problematic and is probably not advisable, the stories I read about the successful treatments all were conducted by psychologists in a controlled clinical environment, and in some cases patients were able to overcome the trauma after just one therapeutic session.

I guess its probably impossible to find a doctor who would be able to treat a patient with MDMA in the US since it's schedule1 drug, not so much in Europe though.

Because it's possible to completely get rid of the disorder after just a few sessions, MDMA will probably never be rescheduled for medical use just because the pharmaceutical companies would lose billions in sales of their SSRI's and various other long-term antidepressants usually prescribed for PTSD.

Jonas · 07-25-2010, 09:55 PM

that seems very logical stulic. thanks for the info - im already looking more into it.

its funny cuz not even an hour ago i just bought 4 doses of pure mdma for the festival im organizing/going to in 12 hours!

SexyM Grower · 07-25-2010, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonas

so yeah 5 - 5 1/2 years ago i had a very traumatizing experience. ill leave it at that, the details aren't something id like to share with this whole community for reasons that I'd think you will understand...

oh yeah, ptsd = post trauma stress disorder.

The experience it left me wrecked; full of guilt/shame, self blame/self worthlessness, trust issues, etc. for quite some time. Immediately after said experience I went to a whole schlew of head shrinkers who diagnosed me with depression/seasonal depression and a minor social anxiety disorder. I wouldnt put the psychologists at blame, i held back some of this said experience, and didnt think it was much of an issue while i was seeing these shrinks.

Needless to say it is very hard to admit your deep personal troubles to someone who only really cares about the paycheck.

Also, up until about a year ago, i was unaware that it was really PTSD that i was suffering from. Knowing finally what is 'wrong' with me became very comforting. although it has brought back alot of this experience to my life and i have had some wretched nights/days/moments in recent times. It is very comforting to think of how much I've healed in the past year.

With all that said there is still alot more healing to be done, and perhaps ill never be able to heal but I am fine with that.

The biggest problem now is overcoming my subconscious physical reactions to situations, ideas, words, feelings, emotions and energies that remind me of said experience. Despite how hard I try to calm my self, remind myself to just breathe, I can never stop my body from 'freaking out' for lack of better words. I just get so anxious, irritable, hypervigilance, can't concentrate, or i just simply feel intense distress/discomfort.

I've been on 3 types of anti-depressants that did nothing, and honestly feel like prescription medications, 'professional' therapy and traditional medicine has made my situation worse.

Any suggestions, info, vibes, love, etc. is appreciated.

despite the vague nature of this thread, it was pretty tough to write.

-Jonas

i give you tones of credit jonas, sometimes the hardest step in the right direction is starting to talk about it openly, so i give you tons of props because you are headed in the right direction, i know this because similar to you possibly i have been through soo many traumatic experiences, and the fact that im still fairly young is even scary, however i believe that even though it is extremly hard and sometimes you might feel like giving up, this experience is going to make you much stronger and wiser and i can tell you the truthfully because i have been through it,

many people have quoted that anti-depressants are horrible and all that stuff, scoiety puts on a big negative spin on anti-depressants, but they also are great for people that need it, its like marijuana, society keeps making it a negative thing, when theres tons of good too,

i have been on anti-depressants for almost a year now, and it wasn't until a month ago that i actually found the one that worked, i have been on four others, the thing with anti-depressants, is that its trial and error, until you find one that works, it wasnt until only recently that i started coming to terms with things that have happened to me, and fiding my inner self

don't give up hope, you will find your inner self, if you ever feel like talking send me a pm

Jonas · 08-18-2010, 06:47 PM

its been an interesting past few weeks...

told one of my closest friends whatsup - that was probably the toughest thing i've ever done, probably more painful than the actual experience. resurfacing all that pain after its been locked up inside really wrecked me for a few days. but the transition from our first conversation about it, to even the second it got alot easier, then the third even easier. But now she moved, and it really sucks. I've never let anyone get as close to me as she is...

moving on, i had an appt with my old psych yesterday. went really well, talked about everything and more and i didnt shed a single tear which really surprised me. psych said she was real impressed with how far i've gotten along in the recovery on my own, and also how all my depressing shit we talked about 3 or so years ago MAKES SENSE now.

My psych told me to make a list, or lists, or everything that brings up this stress, vigilance, pain, etc. every feeling, thought, experience, visual, occurance, anything that trigures my pain. also, to list everything thats good, or is going good.

Basically i have to rewire my brain in a sense and its gonna be tough.

thanks for the support yahooka...

much love.

myxomatosis · 08-18-2010, 06:56 PM

Jonas man that's fantastic to hear. I'd hope regardless of her moving you're still keeping in touch. I'm real glad to hear you're coming along well with this. Easier said than done I know, but keep up the good work.

**SageTree** · 08-18-2010, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonas

its been an interesting past few weeks...

told one of my closest friends whatsup - that was probably the toughest thing i've ever done, probably more painful than the actual experience. resurfacing all that pain after its been locked up inside really wrecked me for a few days. but the transition from our first conversation about it, to even the second it got alot easier, then the third even easier. But now she moved, and it really sucks. I've never let anyone get as close to me as she is...

moving on, i had an appt with my old psych yesterday. went really well, talked about everything and more and i didnt shed a single tear which really surprised me. psych said she was real impressed with how far i've gotten along in the recovery on my own, and also how all my depressing shit we talked about 3 or so years ago MAKES SENSE now.

My psych told me to make a list, or lists, or everything that brings up this stress, vigilance, pain, etc. every feeling, thought, experience, visual, occurance, anything that trigures my pain. also, to list everything thats good, or is going good.

Basically i have to rewire my brain in a sense and its gonna be tough.

thanks for the support yahooka...

much love.

Dude that is good news from the sounds of things.

Thanks for the update and you know where we are if you need to talk again.

I wish you all the strength and power.

Love
SageTree

hijabihippie · 08-19-2010, 07:28 AM

Jonas, mad props for acknowledging that you have a problem & getting help.
Thundering hordes of love & peace to you.

Jonas · 10-25-2010, 11:35 AM

Had a rough week last week...

Feels really good to read through this whole thread.
Especially the last three posts.

Much love to you all.

myxomatosis · 10-25-2010, 07:37 PM

Good to hear something is keeping you a little cheery during a rough week man. Keep your head up.

fenderbender · 10-26-2010, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Štulic

Last night I saw a documentary about MDMA from 2004 and a good portion of the movie was about successful trials and treatments of PTSD and anxiety patients with MDMA, before the DEA made it illegal.

In fact just google PTSD + MDMA and you'll be surprised how many reliable sources of documented peer-reviewed clinical trials with countless success stories are available.
Some doctors even believe that MDMA is possibly the best medicine for treating severe cases of PTSD and previously untreatable deep-rooted traumas, I'm surprised in this whole thread nobody even mentioned this option...

Ive read articles recently enough on universities doing studies on MDMA again with things such as ptsd. That along with Psilosybin being used by terminally ill cancer patients to help them accept death and whatnot.

good results

Jonas · 11-20-2010, 08:51 PM

ASDLFASIUC IKUALSKDUCVFLASKJDFL SAIUVCKLJAFDKAJSDLKJ ASICUVKIXCJVKLASDUFI OUXCVLKASJFDIUWEIUXO ICUVCLKJVLSADIUFWOIE UASLKDJFOLAXCUVOLKCX JVLKSADUFOIASU
DFOIWUERLKJADOICUVOI SDJFLKASJDFALSKDUVXC OIUWQEOJRALKSDJOLXIC UVLAKJSDFa

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!

So yeah, that 'Traumatizing Experience' was me being molested / date raped by some mid 40's year old guy and some 20 something girl who was really a puppet for this 40 something fucker.

Lucky for me there was no raping.

Just forced dick in my face, the two of them sucking me off at the same time (yes blowjobs freak me out still to this day), and the dude cumming on my chin.

Oh and this was all on video tape.

Met said girl one night. got to talkin real good.
kept the talking going online for a while.
Went to meet her at 'her' apartment (most likely it was the dudes...)
She offers me a drink. We drink.
She offers me a second drink....
Some sort of sedative / dissociative was put in that second or third of my drinks....

Its blurry what happens after that.....

oh and this was supposed to be my first 'hookup'

Yes i am drunk right now,

Yes it still hurts to think about it,

Reality can be impossible to grasp for some at times...

But the past 5 months or so has been such a turnaround.

I figure being vague about this trauma is still hindering this healing process, and admitting what actually happened should be beneficial to said process.

So much love to all you who are still reading this thread and this post this far.

halskdhfasiucjsdlkas duckljsfd

no more hiding

my_scatterheart · 11-21-2010, 06:25 AM

I'm not sure that things happen for a reason, but things are always happening. You'll find a way to see through it one day. But love yourself in the mean time to make the path to that place a little easier. What exactly that means, I don't know you enough to say. But remember to be kind to yourself along the way.

myxomatosis · 11-21-2010, 07:11 AM

Can't really put it much better than the post above. You've got a lot of courage though my friend. Hope shit continues to get easier with all the hard work.

**Mafoo** · 11-21-2010, 11:50 AM

wow man, that sounds very traumatic. i hope you can figure out some way to get past all that. clearly those people are extremely damaged, and probably just acting out what happened to them at some point in their childhood.

Qui-Bong Jinn · 11-21-2010, 08:23 PM

Start growing a garden

Please don't knock it till you try it, it really does work

Good luck with everything.

**SageTree** · 11-22-2010, 06:07 AM

Thanks for sharing Jonas. Trauma is hard shit to work through. Like was said above, take care of yourself. And I'll add, don't be afraid to seek further help in processing this if you feel the need.

08-18-2010, 06:56 PM	#27 (permalink)
myxomatosis life is music Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: between a pair of headphones Posts: 3,917 Thanks: 1,026 Thanked 934 Times in 597 Posts	Jonas man that's fantastic to hear. I'd hope regardless of her moving you're still keeping in touch. I'm real glad to hear you're coming along well with this. Easier said than done I know, but keep up the good work. __________________ oh sometimes the blues is just a passing bird and why can't that always be tossing aside from your birches crown just enough dark to see how you're the light over me last.fm blog deal (updated 12/22/11)

10-25-2010, 07:37 PM	#31 (permalink)
myxomatosis life is music Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: between a pair of headphones Posts: 3,917 Thanks: 1,026 Thanked 934 Times in 597 Posts	Good to hear something is keeping you a little cheery during a rough week man. Keep your head up. __________________ oh sometimes the blues is just a passing bird and why can't that always be tossing aside from your birches crown just enough dark to see how you're the light over me last.fm blog deal (updated 12/22/11)

11-21-2010, 06:25 AM	#34 (permalink)
my_scatterheart Today, I am alive. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ Posts: 3,565 Thanks: 1,486 Thanked 3,328 Times in 1,870 Posts	I'm not sure that things happen for a reason, but things are always happening. You'll find a way to see through it one day. But love yourself in the mean time to make the path to that place a little easier. What exactly that means, I don't know you enough to say. But remember to be kind to yourself along the way. __________________ Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

11-21-2010, 07:11 AM	#35 (permalink)
myxomatosis life is music Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: between a pair of headphones Posts: 3,917 Thanks: 1,026 Thanked 934 Times in 597 Posts	Can't really put it much better than the post above. You've got a lot of courage though my friend. Hope shit continues to get easier with all the hard work. __________________ oh sometimes the blues is just a passing bird and why can't that always be tossing aside from your birches crown just enough dark to see how you're the light over me last.fm blog deal (updated 12/22/11)

11-21-2010, 11:50 AM	#36 (permalink)
Mafoo nice daze Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: the anguish of anticipated transformation Posts: 5,975 Thanks: 3,776 Thanked 2,652 Times in 1,698 Posts	wow man, that sounds very traumatic. i hope you can figure out some way to get past all that. clearly those people are extremely damaged, and probably just acting out what happened to them at some point in their childhood. __________________ PLUR For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

07-25-2010, 01:07 PM	#22 (permalink)
AfroHorse aka HonkyHorse Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: UK Posts: 434 Thanks: 235 Thanked 74 Times in 46 Posts	although mdma can be problematic if used unwisely, no doubt

08-19-2010, 07:28 AM	#29 (permalink)
hijabihippie YaHookan Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,481 Thanks: 1,152 Thanked 655 Times in 515 Posts	Jonas, mad props for acknowledging that you have a problem & getting help. Thundering hordes of love & peace to you.

11-21-2010, 08:23 PM	#37 (permalink)
Qui-Bong Jinn Jedi High Council Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Kingston, Ontario Posts: 2,135 Thanks: 911 Thanked 501 Times in 372 Posts	Start growing a garden Please don't knock it till you try it, it really does work Good luck with everything. Last edited by Qui-Bong Jinn; 11-21-2010 at 08:29 PM.

11-22-2010, 06:07 AM	#38 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,768 Times in 4,664 Posts	Thanks for sharing Jonas. Trauma is hard shit to work through. Like was said above, take care of yourself. And I'll add, don't be afraid to seek further help in processing this if you feel the need. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

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