Blunt Trama

That position is on my hand's and knees bent over while being fucked in the ass. Not literally, but most times it feels like it. I've basically thrown away my life. Some of it's my fault, I'll give you that, but more than not I was pushed into this position. It's hard for me to complain because I feel I have more than most people on this planet. I live in a nice house in the country where it's quite peaceful, have a huge tv with every fucking channel, all kinds of gaming systems, movies and blurays, food when I need it and I don't have to pay for anything. The problem is I don't own this house or anything in it. I do get paid for being here, sometimes. I usually get $140 a month for this "job" which is just enough to be able to smoke everyday. That's it. I've been smoking for 8 years, I'm 25 and my "job" is baby-sitting. I watch 4 kids, 2 of which are my niece and nephew. The other two are my sisters soon to be husband's kids. Two are 8 and the other two 6. My sister and her fiance are both in the Navy and make pretty decent money together.

I've been doing this for just over a year and I barely have anything of my own to show for it. Why do I do it? I ask that question everyday because none of this shit makes me happy. Before I moved here my sister and I had an agreement she would pay me $400 a month, or at least try to. I've never gotten $400 or even $200 since I've been here. Only just enough to pay for my weed habit, that's it. No new clothes when I need them, no going out to have fun (I rarely leave), no going on dates, nothing. Only $140 (sometimes only half that) a month, food, soap, deodorant and a room to sleep in. I don't have any friends (hard to make them in this situation), no-where else to go, although I could go stay with my mom if I wanted to, but don't because of the place she lives.

My sister and her fiance told me the first month I was here that they would pay for me to go back to school if I wanted, and that I HAD to do something with my life while staying w/ them or else I couldn't live here.. but they haven't done any such thing for me. I've come to the conclusion that they only want me here to save money on childcare and absolutely FEAR me leaving and being able to support myself because they know I would leave in a second and they would lose so much money. Before I moved here I was working on becoming an art major. I'm 25, lonely as fuck with no money. I desire to have a family of my own, HAVING A REAL JOB and my own place.

I'm pretty sure they took my wallet too so I can't fly back home because I threatened to once or twice. It had my id and my only two ss cards. I know I'm being used. My sister was the only family member I was on good terms with until she started taking advantage of me. Now I don't care to ever see any of them again, but yet I can't get away. I feel trapped. I also don't have a car (crashed and sold it couple of years ago). I can use their cars though, if I needed to, but don't, because what's the point with no cash. They've screwed me out of so much money it's insane. Also every time they get a bonus at work I don't see a penny of it. I don't care about hurting my sisters feelings after this, but I do care for my one nephew who I treat like a son (his real father is a deadbeat) and my nephew loves me to death... but I'm not happy. Most people wouldn't be. I feel like I should have someone to love and take care of, a house, a career and a kid. I have none of those things and never will in this situation.

Suliman

live life for yourself

this ones for you

__________________

The Rev

The true gilded cage, if I ever heard of one. Damn.

Well, it sounds like you're clear on what you don't want, but are you equally clear on what you DO want? I mean, if you're going to change your situation, you have to have a new situation in mind to transition to. Do you know what kind of job you want? Where you want to live? Etc? I think the best thing you can do is get clear on THAT, then start looking for what needs to be done to get from here to there. Otherwise, you're just stuck, looking around at your miserable situation, and feeling worse and worse.

Good luck, bro.



The Rev

__________________

Blunt Trama

Thank you!

Actually I've known for awhile what I want to do. I was working on that before moving here. Back then I figured I could save some cash and help my sister out at the same-time, but that turned into just helping my sister and making barely anything. I'm not too worried about where I want to live at the moment. My main concern is making enough money so I can at least have a choice. I have hardly any free time and not sure if I could pull off a night job. Even if I did get another job for now, my sis already told me she would start making me pay rent which doesn't make any sense at all. It seems they're trying to keep me broke so they can keep living comfortably.

They know once I have a steady income and able to save money, that I'll be able to get out of here. Leaving them in a pickle like the one they're leaving me in.

myxomatosis

I gotta admit I only skimmed but what's really stopping you from getting a job and getting the hell out of there? Surely if you wanted out as badly as you seemed to you'd make it possible no matter what. Sounds like a tough situation for sure but sounds like one of your own making/something to put the blame on.

__________________
oh sometimes the blues is just a passing bird
and why can't that always be
tossing aside from your birches crown
just enough dark to see
how you're the light over me

last.fm
blog deal (updated 12/22/11)

Dantastic

Whats stopping him is his sister trying to make him pay rent if he does get a job. thats lame.

To the op, check it out bro, I feel you man, sometimes I think my mom wants me broke so I have to live at home, its fucking absurd, but I do feel that way sometimes, I barley have enough money to smoke, and I never get to go out, and I have non-existant irl friends(shout out to my boys in irc who keep me sane lol).

So dude, I feel you, trust me, I know you're losing it, but just hold on.

You need a job, then you need to move into a hotel you can pay by the week.

You're going to have to stop smoking, sorry, but you do, you need to take the little bit of money she gives you, to save.

You need to find a job, and use the money you saved to go stay at the hotel. It might suck, but such is living and getting on your feet.

You'll have to scrimp and save every little penny, but when you do finnaly get out of your shit hole, the world will be so much brighter.

Or, you can stay and be miserable until they kick you out.

myxomatosis

So he gets a job and pays rent there while saving or does as you said and gets a job and pays rent elsewhere. Or he simply saves up and gets the hell out.

__________________
oh sometimes the blues is just a passing bird
and why can't that always be
tossing aside from your birches crown
just enough dark to see
how you're the light over me

last.fm
blog deal (updated 12/22/11)

Dantastic

Yep, those are his options, they suck, but so does babysitting for free.

(honestly i cant see why hes put up with it for this long, that shit would have taken me ONE time of not getting paid the full amount for me to walk.)

Blunt Trama

When I first moved here I was able to buy chronic opposed to the shwaggy weed back home. Then I ran out of money, wasn't getting paid in full and had to settle for mids. Now I may have to quit smoking altogether like you said to get my shit together.

Getting a night job is probably my best bet, even if I do have to pay some rent.

If they would've paid me right to begin with and showed me some respect, I would've thought about staying and helping them even longer. So they only fucked themselves in the end.

Thanks for the help guys.

badgoalie85

lol why the fuck does a hotel have to be a part of it? why not just move into a room using craigslist or something.

__________________
Pursue happiness.

To each his own.

Dantastic

Hes got a point, you could try the list, but I cant live with people, thats why i suggested the hotel.

wellfleation

I understand that you are getting free rent, so lets put that as salary ($6,000 a year) with another couple grand for food and utilities. So now we are up to say $8,000 a year. Now add another $1,680 for your yearly salary ($140 a month times 12) and your total yearly salary is only $9,680!

Fuck man, you are getting raped. Live-inn nannies in the states make between $20 - 30k a year and free rent/food. We pay our baby sitters $10 an hour (for one of our kids) and they usually get to leave a 1/2 hour early, or if something is planned with someone else a day a babysitter is scheduled, we still pay them for the full day even if they watch them less than 1/2 the time they are usually scheduled for (it's not their fault). Tell them you need WAY more money or you will have to give them a months notice (plenty of advanced notice, more than considerate).

__________________
FIGHTPOWER

Dantastic

careful man, we wanna help the guy, not send him into a murderous rage and have a dead family on our hands.

sheesh, he IS getting raped.

Ego Tripping

It seems they really just want to keep you there, I assume because they know how much a real nanny or possibly day-care costs. I think the charging rent thing is a total scare tactic. You can just as easily not pay the rent. Then what? They kick you out. You'll find a place to live and then you can work and pay rent for your own place. I'm sure there are places out there where you can just rent a room. They want to keep you there so it seems they are purposely discouraging you from trying to make a living. I say, call their bluff. The worst that can happen is you get removed from a situation that you clearly can't stand in the first place.

__________________

Blunt Trama

To be honest I don't care if I live here or not. I know that they NEED me, so I've been pushing my limits here as far as I can. I'm sure whatever I do they'll have to bail me out in order to keep their kids.

Take tonight for example. I got totally drunk, stripped bare ass naked and mooned every car that passed by the house. I also took a huge shit in the middle of the highway and laughed my ass off at every car that ran over it. All while yelling "I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE"!!!

It's wasn't until they heard me screaming that they ended up dragging me back in the house telling me to calm the fuck down.

Fuck'em!