SageTree

Another good practice is being aware at least once in a while of the good things that are happening and if you can investigate the way your body feels.

If it's reoccurring enough perhaps you'll be able to see how it's caused, in a way, and perhaps the insight will help you see the good times a little more often.

Sometimes our outlook is self fulfilling prophecy so practicing awareness of how we feel when it's good will ingrain good memories in our minds as well.

I wish you the best Brother and hope you see some light at over the next horizon.

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burnt_hiphophead

Along these same lines, if you like playing basketball, go hit up a pickup game somewhere, the local Y or park or whatever. Right off the bat you've got something in common with them. If you're bummed because your buddies keep flaking out on you, go meet some new people (Easier said than done, i know).

re: post #5, it might seem kind of corny, but if you're not comfortable approaching random girls on the street or at a bar or whatever, what about internet dating? There are some good free sites out there, guaranteed there are tons of chicks in edmonton on there. And even if you don't find anyone great through that, meeting some new people is bound to increase your confidence to keep meeting more new people.

And honestly if you have done some work towards the insurance thing but are really sure you don't enjoy it, keep looking for something else. This is a transition period in your life so you might as well use it to find something you enjoy doing or are passionate about or at least pays mad cash. Though you must have started into insurance for one of those reasons?

Just try and stay positive is the main thing. Get some tunes that make you smile. I hope this didn't sound too high and mighty or anything, but I've definitely been depressed at times in my life, so if nothing else know that things will get better eventually, if you want them to.

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Wildcard, bitches! - Charlie Kelly

Parallax

man fuck having friends for the sake of having friends if they're gonna be dicks like that. stop calling them to hang out and see if any of them calls you ... if they don't, well they're not really your friends then, they are using you. all this business with calling and waiting and hanging out for a half hour while they smoke your weed and then bounce will drain you emotionally and make you depressed.

learn to control your emotions, you are only depressed because you allow yourself to be. find a job or a hobby and just do your own thing. a job is especially good for meeting people to chill with, but don't try too hard, friends are overrated anyway.

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FUCK THE ROBOTS!!!
NUKE THE WHALES!!!

turmaline

Fuck the other guys. Obviously they aren't worth your time. Try to get out somewhere and do something for yourself where you will eventually meet someone else who enjoys doing what you do.

Try not to dwell on what they are, or are not doing, because it'll just piss you off. Try to focus on what you want, and new things that you want to do.

These guys don't sound like worth while friends.

Live in the moment...just go do anything.

SmokeaJoint

There's a theme here, I can see it. Its called "fuck your friends, they're POS's anyways." Try disk golf. Its a fun thing to do, attracts stoners of all ages, so it'll be easy to meet like minded people. Go camping, people at camp sites are all about meeting new peeps and sharing s'mores with strangers. Hell, there's too many awesome folks out there to be down about the shitty ones.

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AMERICA: LAND OF THE FREE!
Some restrictions may apply. Void where prohibited

JonSmoke

We did end up seeing the movie last night, and it was a great time. That is the whole problem; its easy to say "fuck them, i will just find new friends", but I do have a genuinely good time when we hang out. I will see how things go, but hopefully last night/today was a turn in the right direction.

SmokeaJoint

When you're being used it's pretty obvious. Most people don't have the subtlety necessary to be all friend-y one day and be selfish and conniving the next. If you're being used for weed or whatever, the only time these people will even look at you is when they want something. If there was no strings attached to the movie night, if you didn't have to offer smoke to get them to come along, well that means they're real friends. Keep em. If not, well, you know what we gotta say about that.

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AMERICA: LAND OF THE FREE!
Some restrictions may apply. Void where prohibited

Jimmycube

I had/have some major depression issues through out my 20's and what i found out helps is getting a job that u like or at least can stand and finding hobbies. Right now my hobbies include painting and making paper out of local vegetation *yeah seems strange but i like it*. Also what helps me a lot is my own family *wife and child* and still living close to my brothers and sister plus all my nieces and nephews. Family is always good, they are more reliable and understand u more than most friends ever will. even really good ones.

I had some problems *major ones* with morphine, oxy, fentanyl and heroin in the past and that was a terrible road to go down so avoid hard drugs at all costs.

also i do have a psychologist which doesnt help all that much but i did get a bunch of xanax out of the deal. Right now i dont really need one but i see em every 6 months just to keep my script going. Dont take xanax often at all but it is nice to have around for certain situations. Anti Depressants were a slippery slope for me it took about 4 different ones before i found one that actually helps and i am still on that one *mirtazapine*.

Maybe it is time for a move back closer to home if u have brothers and sisters. Otherwise i would start hitting the Y or volunteering. It seems dumb i know but helping others always makes u feel good and it wastes a lot of down time which helps a fair bit. What really sucks is the down time when your having depression issues. So work hard on getting some hobbies u enjoy and can do alone even if u have to find new ones and volunteering or going to the Y.

please report back and feel free to hit me up in private msg if u ever wanna chat.

respect

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When you punish a person for dreaming their dream, dont expect them to thank or forgive you

JonSmoke

Have had a horrible day today.

Spent the morning throwing up (stomach flu or something like that).
Broke one of my nicer pieces while cleaning it.
Stayed at home all day, bored out of my mind, lonely as fuck.
A sign of hope? I text a friend to see if he wants to chill and he says he does.
We set up a time to chill.
I go take a shower.
Come back and see I have a missed call.
I try calling him without response.
An hour later, his brother pickups up his phone to let me know that he had gone to a movie with some friends.

Another night alone, with nothing to do.

God damn, I wish I was dead.

I10HaulR

I'd come chill with you for sure! You have to keep positive. Everyday wake up looking for blessings/opportunities that might come your way, they'll be there. If you wake up looking for reasons to beat yourself up, they'll be there too.

Mafoo

ya dude! the more you say "i wish i was dead" the more dead you become

im sure you will get another chance to kick it with your friend, theres always more time to chill. maybe when you are alone you can work on something to better yourself?

just a thought, i used to get kinda down in the dumps about being lonely and stuff, but seriously it just compounds itself. the more down you are the more down you think you are the more down you get. you gotta break free from that dark negative spiral and find some points of light to focus on until all that you can see is positives and just small shadows of negativity.

your emotional state is more of a choice than you may think
chin up man, you'll get to where you need to be when you need to be there

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PLUR
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

burnt_hiphophead

Chill out man don't say that. Shit happens and plans don't always materialize. I think you're being way too hard on yourself.

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Wildcard, bitches! - Charlie Kelly

Captain Cannabis

word. thats the kind of advice i like to hear. i never hesitate to make friends quickly with people who are awesome. to find people who have similar interests is not as hard as it seems.

what are you doing in your sparetime? i didn't make a large number of friends in high school so i understand where you are coming from. you need to stop judging your whole day from what you did with your friends. learn to be by yourself and get a hobby or something (i like cooking). it gives you something to work on every day until you die.. you could never learn everything, but you can work on your own style. as you start to get older (like out of highschool) you lose touch and some people move away or you just don't see them anymore. at some point you are going to have to learn to make new friends in a new situation.

after living in a different place meeting a lot of people.. my advice is to not waste effort on someone who doesn't deserve your friendship and offer you the same back without hesitation. there are enough people out there who understand this as long as you keep looking. you can really find them everywhere in the world. you don't even need to speak the same language to understand this. making friends who you don't really talk too is okay, and you should always have a couple of them, but don't waste effort where it isn't appreciated.

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fuck the monkeys

SageTree

My prescription is to post once a day in the Today Kicks Ass Thread. There HAS to be one small, itty bitty glimmer of good, even if it's 'the cap came off the cocoa-cola easily when i was thirsty'. Start small and look for the .1% thing that makes you feel not bad for a second or more.



Edit: for ms spelling queen. Coca-cola

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myxomatosis

They make chocolate coke now Sage? I guess it'd compliment the vanilla at least.

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oh sometimes the blues is just a passing bird
and why can't that always be
tossing aside from your birches crown
just enough dark to see
how you're the light over me

last.fm
blog deal (updated 12/22/11)

JonSmoke

I will respond to each of the above posts tomorrow when I am feeling a bit better, but for now, a little update.

I ended up chilling with the guy today and it was cool; we want and re-upped our stashes and smoked for a while.

Even after all of this, I still ended up feeling shitty by the time night rolled around. I kept myself busy with things i needed to do, but I just felt myself slipping towards the melancholy of the night before. So, I texted that same friend again to see if he wanted to chill. We ended up chilling with a couple of people and smoking...Not a bad time at all. But even after that, I still feel like shit. It's like there is just something wrong with me. I had a fucking great day today and i still feel like i want to kill myself. At this point I think that only thing to do would be to try and get a gf so I have something/someone to live for (but then again, i don't think thats fair to dump on someone), and regardless, my self esteem is shot as well. I appreciate the responses, they really do help.

SageTree

kiss it myxie...... I don't drink enough of the crap to know how to spell it.

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