francis

Hey guys, long time no see. well as you can see by the title of the thread that this is about methadone maintenance treatment, and just curious to see if anyone on the forums has had any experience with this. Most of the people I know that have been through the clinics and have had bad experiences with the place or have bad things to say about methadone are back using dope. I'm just tired of this lifestyle, just got my license back, and school is starting up here soon and I really want to do well this quarter. Just don't see that happening considering my current situation.

I also know though, that getting started in the treatment means that everyday I'll still have to go out to the hood to get my "legal" fix, and it could potentially be an indefinite thing. thanks in advance to any input.

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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.

Jimmycube

well, here is the problem i had with the done. It worked well on putting of withdrawals but, i always still wanted to get high. SO i would take done and then still end up doing oxy,fent, or heroin on top of it.

Like i have said in the past, any attempt at quitting is valid in my opinion and it does work for some people. It doesnt seem like its most, but it does indeed work for some.

How i did it was just stealing a bunch of heroin from my dealer and gradually lowing the dose. Then when i was out of H i would take 600-800mg of lyrica *which works very well in getting rid of the muscle pain associated with withdrawals* and took that for a solid two weeks strait.

however i had a pretty major mental break through at the time which did indeed help me quit. My wife and child almost died in a car accident...sooo....i figured i should quit and be by their side and such...long story.

anyhoo if u would like to talk more about it francis please feel free to pm me. Its good to see u back man!

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When you punish a person for dreaming their dream, dont expect them to thank or forgive you

Mafoo

sorry i dont have much to add experience wise, glad to see you are back around the hooka. good luck with whatever you plan to do

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PLUR
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

shai_hulud

holy shit you're alive

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"There are only three useless things in this world. Nuns' nipples, bishops' balls and an employer's praise without a raise."

Oceans 80

I currently am in MMT and it saved my life

I've been clean since Jan 14, and I am so happy that I started MMT...

Now, I have heard a lot of people bitch about it there, however, these people's doses are 150-200mg...

I went up and up and hit 100mg, then I was like fuck this, this is dumb, and started lowerin myself back down, I am currently stabilized at 70mg and I wouldn't change it for the world, I don't remember the last time I was this happy and I truly don't wanna go back to the opiate lifestyle and I'm hoping I can maintain this train of thought when I do come off the done...



PS. I did go through in-patient treatment once and out-patient twice, all used Suboxone as their aid and Suboxone didn't help me at all, it kind of helped with the WDs (got rid of the chills and nausea, but, I still had the runny nose, the yawns, the RLS, and the mental aspect)

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tedkennedy

if you are "tired with the lifestyle" why not just go sober. i doubt you are in any stage of addiction that would warrant methadone, it just sounds like you want another easier way to get high just like how you used yours benzos which have gotten you into trouble before but you haven't learned your lesson...

focus on school and your future rather than wanting to get more drugs

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matthew munari

PhishDude

See if you can get into treatment and detox there and get into programs that will help you stay off opiates, the thing is you have to want to do this though.

I have friends who were big into oxy, dope, or whatever opiates they could slam or take and Suboxone, detox, N.A. the desire to get off dope/opiates, and treatment worked for them.

Good luck.

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Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. -- Buddha

Mikey

or sometimes just going to meetings you know,
just getting that shit off your chest, if you still wanna use, but if you can talk about it in front of people that understand where your coming from, well it helps quite a bit.

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RIP Gov

francis

thanks for all the replies guys. ted, I don't want to get high anymore bud. I haven't wanted to get high in a long time. It seems to me that you think I want to use drugs to party. I don't know what I've posted on this forum to give you that impression but that's just not the case and frankly a little insulting. If i could live a sober life I would do it in a heartbeat, but I haven't been able to do that since I was a kid, when I just suffered with OCD and anxiety disorders.

As far as my stage of addiction to warrant a maintenance, I think your assuming quite a bit. Living for me requires some sort of crutch, that's how its been my whole life, whether it was religion as a kid or CNS depressants now, and I have a feeling that wont change anytime soon. Mikey, individual and group counseling is all part of the program and If I ever make the plunge to go for an assessment I would certainly follow all the rules and really try to make the positive change in my life I've wanted for a long time. I had a feeling posting this topic would turn into me trying to defend myself, but I know most of you guys mean well. And yes Aurora, I'm still alive.

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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.

Captain Cannabis

good luck dude. you can always take your anger out on us if it makes you feel better.

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fuck the monkeys

tedkennedy

perhaps you are not francesthemute, if that is the case i apologize i mixed you up with someone else.

im not trying to insult you, just give my opinion on drug addiction and i would say im still pretty comfortable saying that in 99% of situations offering advice to stop using drugs is usually the best advice. but all i can go on is what you write, and my own assumptions to fill in the blanks.

but i am sorry that i was harsh, do you have some sort of medical ailment that requires daily opiate usage.

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matthew munari

francis

No man you haven't mixed me up with francesthemute, that's was me back maybe 4 years ago. It's just a lot has changed since then. sure I wasn't a mature kid when I first started to post on the forums, throughout high school I did do my fair share of partying but I like to think I've changed and grown up since then, but I cant say I've changed my habits.

I used opiates pretty regularly for over 2 years starting recreational as most of us do but slowly moved further and further down that ugly path that ultimately has lead me into a serious heroin addiction. I really wanted not to go into my use as really I'm just horribly ashamed and embarrassed that I've done something I never dreamed I would do.

I'm not going to tell you guys I didn't start using opiates for fun, because my doc was always opiates and benzos. Before I started using IV, I snorted my dope but of course over time rigs became easy to acquire and finally made the plunge to IV. Currently I mainline 2-3 times a day, around $30 a day, I get hooked up so 30 gets me 4, 40 gets me 6, etc.. I've kept this up for months, first burning through a nice chunk of change I was saving for a lot that I wont see for a long time, then slowly pawning some things I really didn't want to lose. But as any dope addict will tell you, if im not well im sick and I cant start my day without fixing up.

don't be sorry man, I can totally see where your coming from, but all I can say is a lot really has changed and if I don't get some sort of help, I'm sure I will lose everything eventually. I don't want to lose my family and I don't want to go to jail or get robbed/shot coping on the west side, or even worse fall out by myself in my bed, I don't want this.

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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.

tedkennedy

me and you are very similar francis.

do what you feel you need to do. but ill tell you that stopping using drugs was one of best things i ever done. and i have terrible anxiety disorder too you know... just because you have this emotional baggage that you carry doesnt mean you cant change. it takes alot of time and alot of hard work, but thats what life is about.

good luck

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matthew munari

profit

i was so fucked up on heroin and oc (< my avatar remains lol <) for 4 years and i finally got myself on suboxone and i have been clean for 2 years now. find a suboxone doctor in your area and get clean! it feels so fucking good man and i have no cravings NONE for ANYTHING!

it has been a miracle for me. long term suboxone treatment has saved my life. anyone who talks shit about subs is most likely an idiot.

i encourage you check it out. good luck. get better.

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francis

hey guys just to update this thread, I started my treatment today. It was a long process, saw lots of people through it all and I think this is gonna work out. When I first went to the clinic I was kinda turned off to be honest, some of the people (counselors and clients) left a bad taste in my mouth. When I had my screening, I told the counselor that I had been using everyday for about 4 months and off and on since I was in high school and right then he said "well if I put in the computer that you have been using since high school, you can go on maintenance, otherwise I have to put you on a 6 month detox". That right there really worried me about the legitimacy of this place but thank god yesterday when I saw the head nurse and told her the same thing, she definitely thought that the detox was in my best interest and putting me on maintenance would leave me with a worse habit, which I totally agreed with.

So after tons of groups and drug testing/blood work the past two days, I saw the doctor today and he confirmed everything and started me on 10ml, which I do find a little low. But I'm sure tomorrow it will be raised another 10. I went out with a bang yesterday, shooting dope practically all day and came home with a couple caps to finish off. Unfortunately I was high enough last night and didn't use all of it so now I'm sitting here with my wake up contemplating whether or not to shoot this last little bit. The wise thing would be to throw it away but I just don't think I will. I am really going to miss the needle for real guys, I'm gonna miss preparing my shot. I am not going to miss dirty rigs and track marks though. Part of me wishes I could be rich and able to afford a gram a day habit. But I know thats no way to live, I kinda wish I could have used just a little bit longer before I started treatment.

I guess only time will tell if I'm ready to stop or not, sucks not having many people in your life who are supportive, granted not many know of my habit, but the one real important family member in my life is one hell of an addict herself. I know it means having to cut her off and stay away but thats a tough pill to swallow. Sorry for the wall of text guys, just a lot going through my mind right now.

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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.

Mikey

you've made the first and most important step on the road to recovery

it can be a bumpy road, but just like everything else in life it's going to be what you make of it

it's funny i saw your post this morning because I think of you sometimes and hope you're doing well.

best of luck with all the decisions you make, and hopefully over the next little while you'll get to know yourself in a completely different way you didn't think it was possible (<if that made sense? I know what I'm trying to say maybe I'm just not saying it right...)

much love dude
yahooka's got your back.

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RIP Gov

Jimmycube

what a lot of people dont understand about heroin addiction is the habits...its kinda like smoking weed in a way, getting the bud ready, putting it in your pipe, lighting it up blah blah.

the needle prep is the same way cept way way stronger of a habit. same for smoking fentanyl.

my advice francis is u have to kinda switch one habit for another. I switched my opiate habit with working out. I know that sounds kinda lame but it helped quite a bit even if i felt like shit most of the time i was still able to get some cardio in. So i suggest u find a clean habit to switch with your old needle prep routine and remember u gotta do the clean one for a few weeks before it really becomes a habit.

The psychological part of heroin for what ever reason u choose to use it is often the hardest part. Heroin is just so reliable unlike people for example.

u probably know this already but stay away from all people who use or are using. All movies or music ware there is references to opiates. It took me ages to even be able to go to other highs again.

just keep fighting the good fight man....if u ever want just pm me i am down to listen

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When you punish a person for dreaming their dream, dont expect them to thank or forgive you

Jimmycube

also, yeah the guilt about it all stays around for a long time. I just had to accept the fact that i made a mistake, i was selfish dumb what ever u want to call it, but once u quit you are done with that mistake and moving forward with your life and there is something noble about that.

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When you punish a person for dreaming their dream, dont expect them to thank or forgive you

doobie

I am on MMT and have been for years. Methadone Maint is so much better than shooting heroin/ocs/k4s or whatever you are doing. I highly recommend it simply because it is much cheaper and healthier than injecting drugs.

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U must remember this one thing my friend. You can swim in a red river but you must not drink from a red river.

francis

eh just to update this, i fucked the clinic over, the dose wasnt high enough (what i get for being honest with usage i guess..) and i was using both meth and dope. no im just back using full time. have sold most of my shit one by one, tomorrow is probably going to be my baby ibanez. go ahead and let this thread die.

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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.