scottishbastard

Wasn't sure whether to put this here, in ffa, or the spirituality forum so I flipped a three sided coin and got this place

So this is more of a long boring story than anything, so if you have better things to do, go do em.

Ever since my house got raided at 17 my family and I have both been just a few steps above homeless. They were living in an upside down house (financially upside down), then my dad died leaving my mom to pay $1500 a month which she didn't have.
Meanwhile I'm living in hollywood in tiny little not totally legal tenaments as a heroin addict.

Then I moved in with my girlfriends parents but that whole time they were dealing with losing the house because her stepdad had a heart attack and then a stroke in the same day etc. etc. etc.

So then I get dumped and move up here with my mom. Her house gets auctioned off in two days and I have no idea where we're going.

I guess the point of this is that since I was 19 or 20 I said I wanted zen but could never attain it. Now it seems like the universe is dragging me into zen kicking and screaming.

I'm not looking for sympathy at all. I'm more looking for guidance with the whole "no possessions thing"...the simple life. Cause soon I ain't gonna have much of shit but I'm kind of looking forward to it in a way. Instead of being homeless I would like to be a resident of the world so to speak.

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Yeah but you're going to do what you wanna do
No matter what I ask of you
You think you hold the high hand
I've got my doubts
I come from Chino where the asphalt sprouts
.....

And even if I have to go to Claremont
Well I guess I'll just have to go to Claremont
Let me go
Let me lie low

Yeah but you're going to do what you wanna do
No matter what I ask of you
And you send your dark messengers to tempt me
I come from Chino so all your threats are empty

- the mountain goats

SageTree

Thanks for sharing SB.

Before I say much I'm curious what, if any, is an inflow of coin?

As long as you can have a daily dose of regularity with food shelter water safety many things are possible. And also learning where to get these for free or with a little volunteer time.

In other words, your resources.

Go to a soup kitchen, go to a drop in centre for some coffee.

What are you prospects or interest in finding something more permanent , not to be ironic about permanence in a Zen thread

On that note, what's Zen to you in a more elaborate wording about the situation?

In loving kindness,
SageTree

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The Rev

From a spiritual perspective, the real question is "What good has come of it?" How has it been an advantage to you that all this shit has happened? If it hasn't, how could it?

I had a tough upbringing, from a psychological perspective. My mom was kinda nuts. Dealing with that involved alot of self-destructive habits that have left me with a great deal of regret and self-directed disappointment. However, if I didn't have to do all that soul searching, all that work untying the knot she put in my head, I never would have discovered the spiritual truths that I have. I would never have found enlightenment, as I have.

Everything has a good side, even the really shitty stuff. To continually look for it sets us on a path in life to our greater nature, I believe.



The Rev

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SageTree

That is basically the physical and metaphysical gambit of things at hand.

Rev, Thanks for being the gratefulness for lessons learned and experiences had up to this point, how ever seemingly poor the execution of introduction. Lord knows I've had a few lessons from that school.

When I think of higher powers or Zen mentalities the label "The Great Perspective Shifter" Keep an open mind and take the good with the bad, distill and reflect.

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scottishbastard

My money sustains me but I feel my last attachments to people like my mom and my dog pulling strong. I need to focus on my own thing right now and just take care of my dog and myself. Getting a car soon so that should help.

__________________


Yeah but you're going to do what you wanna do
No matter what I ask of you
You think you hold the high hand
I've got my doubts
I come from Chino where the asphalt sprouts
.....

And even if I have to go to Claremont
Well I guess I'll just have to go to Claremont
Let me go
Let me lie low

Yeah but you're going to do what you wanna do
No matter what I ask of you
And you send your dark messengers to tempt me
I come from Chino so all your threats are empty

- the mountain goats

SageTree

So you sound concerned about your Momz and also is that a relationship that is better kept with distance? What is stopping you from doing what you wish?

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