One of my best friends... - Page 2

**SageTree** · 09-12-2010, 06:21 PM

wow.........

I'm so sorry for all of you involved. If you need to talk you know you can look to me Brother . In the thread, in a PM, or hell.... I have skype ... I'll call you if you need it. It's no cost to me and I can call a house phone, you don't need skype to chat literally, or if another way suits your needs better use them, but please keep talking man.

I've experienced the deaths of close friends as well, and nothing I can say will take that pain away.... It wouldn't hurt if you didn't love em man and I'm sure you were both lucky to be in each other lives.

Much love Willio.

You'll be in my thoughts, prayers and meditations.

I hope you can work with and through the feelings you are experiencing right now.

Hold tight to love and compassion for your friend and for yourself.

This is a long hard road to travel.

RIP Robert, I'm sorry you were suffering so, that it came to this.

SageTree

profit · 09-13-2010, 12:28 PM

i would say to let go of all you fear to lose. including material things and people. watch star wars the revenge of the sith and listen to everything yoda has to say about loss. its a movie but its a monk styled philosophy on how to stay strong in times when you are surrounded by the risk of death to everyone everyday. in a movie or not hes a wise one.

be careful with the xanax. i can tell you that seizures suck.

Lloydy · 09-13-2010, 12:35 PM

Sorry to hear that mate. R.I.P

toni montana · 09-13-2010, 03:27 PM

im so sorry dude

sending hugs

Man in Black · 09-13-2010, 05:40 PM

thanks for the kind words everyone, much love.

I can't stop listening to St. Andrew's Fall by Blind Melon..

also allprofit i understand completely what you mean about the xanax as i actually do have a prescription. they really saved me on that night, hadn't had a panic attack like that in years.

**SageTree** · 09-13-2010, 05:53 PM

Glad you checked in Willie I was thinking about ya and hoping you would.

Man in Black · 09-15-2010, 11:43 PM

the funeral is friday. i still can't believe he's gone. hard to imagine the rest of my life without him. i just can't imagine what was going through his mind when he did it.

i gotta say i have been suicidal in the past but after all this, i dont ever want to think about it again.

**SageTree** · 09-16-2010, 12:05 AM

Much love Willie. Thanks for touching base again

Hope hanging around with us bums helps.

Jonas · 09-16-2010, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Man in Black

i gotta say i have been suicidal in the past but after all this, i dont ever want to think about it again.

This is what gets me through some of those really hard days / moments.

My cousin hung himself when we were both 17. We had so much in common and most people who saw us together thought we were brothers.

Seeing how his suicide completely devastated his immediate family, especially his father really struck me.

It may sound cheesy but some days I feel like I'm living with two souls in me - my own and his. This is what gives me strength to keep moving forward. Honestly, if he hadn't hung himself 6 years ago I would have ended my life 4-5 years ago. Regardless, this in no way makes the tragedy any less tragic.

Much love and light to you friend. Keep your head up.

cantSEEme · 09-16-2010, 09:26 AM

ah damn man, willie, damn.. sorry about your loss man.

i lost my best friend when i (we) were fourteen, so i kind of know what you're going through. it sucks, and it's tough, but the hurt fades with time. just think of all the positives of your friendship with him, and all the good things that it brought you. the good always outweighs the bad. positive vibes being sent your way. and please dont do anything rash, man.

sorry i havent posted sooner, but i dont usually go into g&s.

Man in Black · 09-24-2010, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Man in Black

the darkness is washing off of me. i hope. for now. i've been in a real bad spot recently, real bad..i've been so ANGRY. i couldn't feel the love anymore, at least not as much and not for the time being.

and i hate to give the credit all to the shrooms because that's not the case, it's god and his goodness and love that have allowed me to find grace again.

the shrooms were just the agent that sent about the natural course of things. i am re-reading this over and over and trying to make sense of it all now and i guess thats just the thing, nothing makes sense, it's just all the sense(s) that you give it.

how's that for some deep shit

and this trip hasnt been peaches and cream either, like the way i'm probably cracking it up to be, i went from the absolute emptiest and lowest to the fullest and most high. but you know how these things go.

i am trying my best to expunge myself of all this venom and negative energy.

(i'm not sure if what he gave to me was the aborts or not but that's the impression that i have. he wasn't kidding one bit about the potency, that's all I can say for certain)

also so as not to seem rude or thoughtless, but mostly just to appease my own non existing sense of guilt, as I would usually go out of my way to speak to each of you cordially and individually, but regarding the circumstances and my current state of "lucidity" I feel like I am addressing you all as one anyhow. so therefore let there be no misunderstanding of set pretenses or fault, I am sending this message to you and also to anyone else who has the necessary means to receive it.

there are a million more words i'd love to say and i must say at least i am very surprised at myself for my ability to say what i already have. all that i ask for now is the blessing of the message to carry me through and to continually bless me and allow me to let it bless you all.

is this all absurd?

09-12-2010, 06:21 PM	#21 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,768 Times in 4,664 Posts	wow......... I'm so sorry for all of you involved. If you need to talk you know you can look to me Brother . In the thread, in a PM, or hell.... I have skype ... I'll call you if you need it. It's no cost to me and I can call a house phone, you don't need skype to chat literally, or if another way suits your needs better use them, but please keep talking man. I've experienced the deaths of close friends as well, and nothing I can say will take that pain away.... It wouldn't hurt if you didn't love em man and I'm sure you were both lucky to be in each other lives. Much love Willio. You'll be in my thoughts, prayers and meditations. I hope you can work with and through the feelings you are experiencing right now. Hold tight to love and compassion for your friend and for yourself. This is a long hard road to travel. RIP Robert, I'm sorry you were suffering so, that it came to this. SageTree __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

09-13-2010, 12:28 PM	#22 (permalink)
profit restore the republic Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 1,255 Thanks: 818 Thanked 357 Times in 237 Posts	i would say to let go of all you fear to lose. including material things and people. watch star wars the revenge of the sith and listen to everything yoda has to say about loss. its a movie but its a monk styled philosophy on how to stay strong in times when you are surrounded by the risk of death to everyone everyday. in a movie or not hes a wise one. be careful with the xanax. i can tell you that seizures suck. __________________ Cowardice asks the question - is it safe? Expediency asks the question - is it politic? Vanity asks the question - is it popular? But conscience asks the question - is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right. - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. follow https://twitter.com/#!/curtiswm - sub http://www.youtube.com/user/66sicksfishstix

09-13-2010, 12:35 PM	#23 (permalink)
Lloydy KTF Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: England Posts: 11,976 Thanks: 533 Thanked 2,478 Times in 1,139 Posts	Sorry to hear that mate. R.I.P __________________ Keep the red flag flying high

09-13-2010, 05:40 PM	#25 (permalink)
Man in Black willie d Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: dayton,ohio Posts: 4,817 Thanks: 3,200 Thanked 1,348 Times in 896 Posts	thanks for the kind words everyone, much love. I can't stop listening to St. Andrew's Fall by Blind Melon.. also allprofit i understand completely what you mean about the xanax as i actually do have a prescription. they really saved me on that night, hadn't had a panic attack like that in years. __________________ When I was arrested I was dressed in black.

09-13-2010, 05:53 PM	#26 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,768 Times in 4,664 Posts	Glad you checked in Willie I was thinking about ya and hoping you would. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

09-13-2010, 03:27 PM	#24 (permalink)
toni montana YaHookan Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: New Zealand Posts: 129 Thanks: 192 Thanked 63 Times in 31 Posts	im so sorry dude sending hugs

09-15-2010, 11:43 PM	#27 (permalink)
Man in Black willie d Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: dayton,ohio Posts: 4,817 Thanks: 3,200 Thanked 1,348 Times in 896 Posts	the funeral is friday. i still can't believe he's gone. hard to imagine the rest of my life without him. i just can't imagine what was going through his mind when he did it. i gotta say i have been suicidal in the past but after all this, i dont ever want to think about it again. __________________ When I was arrested I was dressed in black.

09-16-2010, 12:05 AM	#28 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,768 Times in 4,664 Posts	Much love Willie. Thanks for touching base again Hope hanging around with us bums helps. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

09-16-2010, 09:26 AM	#30 (permalink)
cantSEEme Cold School Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 3,019 Thanks: 152 Thanked 127 Times in 457 Posts	ah damn man, willie, damn.. sorry about your loss man. i lost my best friend when i (we) were fourteen, so i kind of know what you're going through. it sucks, and it's tough, but the hurt fades with time. just think of all the positives of your friendship with him, and all the good things that it brought you. the good always outweighs the bad. positive vibes being sent your way. and please dont do anything rash, man. sorry i havent posted sooner, but i dont usually go into g&s. __________________

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