my ex...

Bearsy · 10-17-2010, 10:28 PM

Just found out my ex is already in another relationship. It's been three weeks, so obviously she had this guy on the side towards the end of ours.
This is fucking why I don't open up to people. This is why I keep myself from falling in love. I mean I was so tentative at the beginning to go out with her because my feelings for her were so strong.
But she was the one that pushed for us to be in a relationship, she was the one that said "I love you" first, she was the one that told me she was crazy about me. She was the one that said the last thing in the world she wants to do is hurt me.
And then after the happiest months OF MY ENTIRE LIFE she fucking drops me without any warning whatsoever and in no time she's already on to the next guy.
I had no delusions that we were going to be together forever or anything, but shit, this really, really fucking sucks. I'm still in love with her.
I need many drinks.

JcP · 10-17-2010, 11:03 PM

Bearsy...

you dont know she had this guy on the side. And even if she did, that's her issue to work out, not yours. You seem to have approached this relationship in an adult and mature manner.

You cannot control other people, especially with relationships. That's why we love them so much...because you trust the other person enough to let them get inside your "heart" without any actual proof they aren't going to rip it out and stomp on it. The thrill of it, along with the feeling of true happiness of being able to be honest with someone fully is what relationships are all about.

You are NOT still in love with her. You're in love with what you thought she was. There is a big difference, and it is this realization that will help you get over the 'hump'.
When people act like tards in relationships, it often makes the OTHER person feel bad/worthless or that they have a problem. Did I not make you happy? Did I not give you what you want? Am I not good enough for you? What did I do wrong?
It's all bullshit Bearsy. It's not about you. It's about her. Sounds to me like...while your emotions and penis might disagree RIGHT NOW, your brain should be able to see that you deserve better.

She wants to bone someone else 3 weeks after your relationship? That has nothing to do with you at all. Let it go, my man, and move on.

'expect nothing. receive it all.'

NativeSonKY · 10-17-2010, 11:03 PM

Glad to hear you are finally over her - almost! I lost count LONG ago bro - take care!

HTAM · 10-17-2010, 11:04 PM

Bearsy,

My mom died on a friday, but I don't mourn every week when friday comes around.

You, especially YOU, can't hold your feelings hostage.

It's an eye roller, but this is the not worst body slam your feelings are ever going to take.

You know what happened here....you were able to see that this relationship wasn't a good idea beforehand. You just didn't know why.

Now you do.

Listen to your Spider Sense, Bro.

Grieves · 10-17-2010, 11:27 PM

Never compare how fast a girl rebounds to how quick a dude does...

A decent woman/girl only needs to step foot outside to find a plethora of suiters...Men, not so much...

Time will ease all wounds...Or she will get the HIV...either way, the more time that passes, the better you will feel....

my_scatterheart · 10-18-2010, 05:21 AM

^Men do the same thing.
It's not a m/f issue as it is a character issue.
And if you seriously, within you, cannot see that bearsy (that it's her character flaw), then you're probably not ready to be "dating".

**Jimmycube** · 10-19-2010, 12:28 PM

yeah guys do the same thing....relationshi ps are a lot of work man.....i thinks u should say "glad your leaving my dear" and find somebody more suited for u.

its tuff but believe or not....there is kewl people out there....its just hard to find them sometimes

tedkennedy · 10-31-2010, 07:40 PM

yea it felt good to be in a relationship, you get the cuddling, the smooches, the boobs, but at the end of the day your just another boyfriend for this girl who will have many ex boyfriends by the time she is old. some people are just like that, and other people (presumably like you) are looking for deeper more meaningful , long term relationships.

fuck if i know, i think dating is stupid. but when you find the right person for you youll know. til then, put the best foot forward and dont feel bad about your ex.

Captain Cannabis · 10-31-2010, 11:14 PM

you really don't want to be stuck in a relationship with someone like that. believe me.

Grieves · 10-31-2010, 11:27 PM

a person who you can just hang out with and fuck on the regular that you connect with on many levels, without the labels is what you need, labels do nothing good for relationships but decide what kind of friends you have...

**SageTree** · 11-01-2010, 05:39 AM

Bearman, I thought you cats broke it off over distance complications?

I'm sure she didn't get with this guy to spite you.
Nor do I feel it's likely she had him on the side.
If you said 3 hours I might bite.
But 3 weeks is a life time for some people's 'not dating' someone, maybe that is the case for her.
I was with a girl for 2 years before we broke it off. 3 days later I was getting down with a girl I worked with. They were completely unrelated however. I wasn't dating her and we both agreed to meet each other based on our needs

1+1 doesn't always equal 2... sometimes the 1's aren't in the same equation.

Much love to you Bearman. It sucks no doubt, but I think someday maybe you'll see it's better off it didn't pull through, when you meet the real lady or man of your dreams

Geeno · 11-07-2010, 02:56 PM

Shit happens brah, we've all been through it.

I say, congratulations on joining the club. You need to get kicked in the lovesack a few times before practicality and reality of human relationships is real to you.

yo. · 11-07-2010, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bearsy

It's been three weeks,

that's plenty of time to get over her.

sure, you loved the hell out of her and the time yall had, but like you said it wasn't gonna last forever, so essentially it was nothing but a learning experience, and i'd say you definitely learned something. just don't take that experience the wrong way, it's not that you should close your self off again, it just means be more cautious and prepared for this to happen.

Bearsy · 11-07-2010, 04:12 PM

Thanks all. I forgot about this thread. Yeah I'm over it now. I mean I miss her from time to time and whatnot but I'm sure that's normal.

What really sucked about the breakup wasn't losing the girlfriend, but losing my best friends.
She and her two closest friends had become mine as well, over the course of the 9 months we'd known each other.
But as soon as she dumped me I stopped hearing from all three of them which really is what hurt the most about it.

I'm just gonna appreciate the time we had together and not worry about it anymore.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grieves

a person who you can just hang out with and fuck on the regular that you connect with on many levels, without the labels is what you need, labels do nothing good for relationships but decide what kind of friends you have...

Unfortunately I don't have that luxury. People don't want a 400 pound fuck buddy.
I've been trying to lose but its just not happening. I plateaued like 2 months ago and I don't know how to fix it. Tried changing up my diet and I gained, changing my exercise habits didn't help either.

my_scatterheart · 11-07-2010, 07:07 PM

Keep trying. Try harder. For longer.

Geeno · 11-07-2010, 07:10 PM

yeah brah, rome didnt lose all its weight in a day

Freewilly · 11-07-2010, 07:13 PM

The right one will come along when its meant to be.

Grieves · 11-07-2010, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bearsy

Thanks all. I forgot about this thread. Yeah I'm over it now. I mean I miss her from time to time and whatnot but I'm sure that's normal.

What really sucked about the breakup wasn't losing the girlfriend, but losing my best friends.
She and her two closest friends had become mine as well, over the course of the 9 months we'd known each other.
But as soon as she dumped me I stopped hearing from all three of them which really is what hurt the most about it.

I'm just gonna appreciate the time we had together and not worry about it anymore.

Unfortunately I don't have that luxury. People don't want a 400 pound fuck buddy.
I've been trying to lose but its just not happening. I plateaued like 2 months ago and I don't know how to fix it. Tried changing up my diet and I gained, changing my exercise habits didn't help either.

Stop with that pity me bullshit...

Sure people don't want to be with someone who doesn't like themselves enough to be in a perpetual spiral of needing to "lose just a bit more weight"

If you are chill with you, then other people will want to be with you, if you want to constantly change everything about yourself, no one will know who the real you is/there won't be a "you" for anyone too "like, love, fuck, whatever"....

Remember you are looking for a companion, not a mom/nurse/motivational weight coach...

Sir-Ex · 11-10-2010, 10:46 PM

^
Plus there's a such thing as fat chicks.

Mikey · 11-11-2010, 07:52 AM

Female FA - Why I Prefer Big Men

10-17-2010, 11:03 PM	#3 (permalink)
NativeSonKY YaHookan Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Kentucky Posts: 102 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 120 Thanked 59 Times in 41 Posts	Glad to hear you are finally over her - almost! I lost count LONG ago bro - take care! __________________ ☮NativeSonKY☮ Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. -- Albert Einstein

10-17-2010, 11:27 PM	#5 (permalink)
Grieves The Worst Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Interstate 8 Posts: 12,090 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 2,577 Thanked 3,117 Times in 1,712 Posts	Never compare how fast a girl rebounds to how quick a dude does... A decent woman/girl only needs to step foot outside to find a plethora of suiters...Men, not so much... Time will ease all wounds...Or she will get the HIV...either way, the more time that passes, the better you will feel.... __________________ "And no matter what they said dollar is not your friend and it's the feelings that are hard to know are the feelings that all come slow No matter what they said dollar is not your friend and these feelings that so hard to know are the feelings that wont let go No don't let go, till you find a home World Unite and I'll love you forever"

10-18-2010, 05:21 AM	#6 (permalink)
my_scatterheart Today, I am alive. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ Posts: 3,565 Thanks: 1,486 Thanked 3,328 Times in 1,870 Posts	^Men do the same thing. It's not a m/f issue as it is a character issue. And if you seriously, within you, cannot see that bearsy (that it's her character flaw), then you're probably not ready to be "dating". __________________ Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega Last edited by my_scatterheart; 10-18-2010 at 11:56 AM.

10-31-2010, 07:40 PM	#8 (permalink)
tedkennedy now 14% blacker Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 3,229 Thanks: 71 Thanked 585 Times in 364 Posts	yea it felt good to be in a relationship, you get the cuddling, the smooches, the boobs, but at the end of the day your just another boyfriend for this girl who will have many ex boyfriends by the time she is old. some people are just like that, and other people (presumably like you) are looking for deeper more meaningful , long term relationships. fuck if i know, i think dating is stupid. but when you find the right person for you youll know. til then, put the best foot forward and dont feel bad about your ex. __________________ matthew munari

10-31-2010, 11:14 PM	#9 (permalink)
Captain Cannabis safety word: more Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: m.i.a. Posts: 13,922 Thanks: 2,705 Thanked 3,174 Times in 1,812 Posts	you really don't want to be stuck in a relationship with someone like that. believe me. __________________ fuck the monkeys

10-17-2010, 11:04 PM	#4 (permalink)
HTAM Old School Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,872 Thanks: 2,368 Thanked 2,117 Times in 1,179 Posts	Bearsy, My mom died on a friday, but I don't mourn every week when friday comes around. You, especially YOU, can't hold your feelings hostage. It's an eye roller, but this is the not worst body slam your feelings are ever going to take. You know what happened here....you were able to see that this relationship wasn't a good idea beforehand. You just didn't know why. Now you do. Listen to your Spider Sense, Bro.

10-31-2010, 11:27 PM	#10 (permalink)
Grieves The Worst Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Interstate 8 Posts: 12,090 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 2,577 Thanked 3,117 Times in 1,712 Posts	a person who you can just hang out with and fuck on the regular that you connect with on many levels, without the labels is what you need, labels do nothing good for relationships but decide what kind of friends you have... __________________ "And no matter what they said dollar is not your friend and it's the feelings that are hard to know are the feelings that all come slow No matter what they said dollar is not your friend and these feelings that so hard to know are the feelings that wont let go No don't let go, till you find a home World Unite and I'll love you forever"

11-01-2010, 05:39 AM	#11 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,768 Times in 4,664 Posts	Bearman, I thought you cats broke it off over distance complications? I'm sure she didn't get with this guy to spite you. Nor do I feel it's likely she had him on the side. If you said 3 hours I might bite. But 3 weeks is a life time for some people's 'not dating' someone, maybe that is the case for her. I was with a girl for 2 years before we broke it off. 3 days later I was getting down with a girl I worked with. They were completely unrelated however. I wasn't dating her and we both agreed to meet each other based on our needs 1+1 doesn't always equal 2... sometimes the 1's aren't in the same equation. Much love to you Bearman. It sucks no doubt, but I think someday maybe you'll see it's better off it didn't pull through, when you meet the real lady or man of your dreams __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

11-07-2010, 07:07 PM	#15 (permalink)
my_scatterheart Today, I am alive. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ Posts: 3,565 Thanks: 1,486 Thanked 3,328 Times in 1,870 Posts	Keep trying. Try harder. For longer. __________________ Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

11-07-2010, 07:13 PM	#17 (permalink)
Freewilly Dark Angel Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 54 Thanks: 22 Thanked 14 Times in 11 Posts	The right one will come along when its meant to be.

11-10-2010, 10:46 PM	#19 (permalink)
Sir-Ex Learner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Edmonton, Alberta Posts: 11,416 Thanks: 1,726 Thanked 3,820 Times in 2,258 Posts	^ Plus there's a such thing as fat chicks. __________________ Smile Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

11-11-2010, 07:52 AM	#20 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,443 Thanks: 1,144 Thanked 2,246 Times in 1,475 Posts	Female FA - Why I Prefer Big Men __________________ RIP Gov

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