me and my boring life...

Dr.Haze · 04-24-2011, 08:27 AM

I have been feeling really strange today and don't really know what to do.

I'm 25 years old, I have a good job that I like doing. I'm married for two years (we have been together for 9 years) and live in a nice apartment. I have been living the same life for three years now without any major worries, I was always happy with my life until today. Today I woke up after the best two days I've had in three years and instead of feeling good I feel like there is something wrong with my life. Maybe it is just a temporally feeling that will fade away, but maybe there is really something wrong and I should change something...

I have the feeling that I miss out on so much because I don't really have an friends left. Three years ago when I still lived with my parents I had tons of friends. Every night I was out with friends, sitting in park with some joints and bottles of wine, or going to a bar and stayed there till the sun came up. But lately I have the feeling that I lost most of my friends because now I live with my wife in a decent apartment and almost every day is the same. I go to work, come home, eat, play poker on the computer, randomly surf the Internet or watching tv till three in the morning and then goes to bed much later than my wife, so all the interaction I have with her is just talking while I'm on the computer or watching tv together, but mostly she is watching sitcoms on her laptop while I'm playing poker on mine.
It's not that we don't love each other anymore, she just likes to watch sitcoms all night and I hate sitcoms so I leave her and go do something on my own. But I felt fine with that until this morning.

So what happend:

A friend of mine that lives 200 miles from me called me two weeks ago if I could come help him with something that he had to do, but it would take three days of hard work. He would pay for my hotel and asked me to come Thursday morning, so I went and there were 4 other people that I had never seen that would stay with us. So we started working on the project until late in the evening, the last thing we needed to do was making some pictures of a large fire in the woods. The work for that day was finished at around midnight but we had some beer with us and I had a lot of hash. But everybody was tired and went to bed except a girl that wanted to some one joint before going to bed. So the two of us stayed in the forest and told the others to go ahead and that we would come to the hotel a bit later. It was one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen but she had a boyfriend and I'm married, so we just talked a bit smoked a joint and drank a two beers and went to bed.

Then the next day every break we took from working on the project she would come and talk to me and we laughed about the stupidest things. So when that evening the work was done everybody went straight to their rooms to go to bed. But I asked her if she would come smoke one more joint before going to bed because I knew she hadn't any weed with her. It was great weather and we walked to the night shop around the corner to get some beer to go with the joint. We went and sat on grass in the middle of a city park and I rolled a joint and again we started to talk about everything and nothing while drinking beer and smoking. It was around 1am that the joint was finished and I asked her if she wanted me to roll another one and get some more beer or if she would like to go to bed because we needed to get up at 8am. But she said she didn't felt tired and so we walked back to the night shop and bought more beer and walked back to the park to smoke an other one. We were laughing, listing to music on my ipod, playing with her cellphone, making stupid pictures while we kept rolling and smoking joints and drinking beer until it was 7 in the morning and sun was shining. We both slept with someone else and we didn't wanted to wake them an hour before we needed to get up so we decided to go have a quick sleep in my car. We slept on the front seats for and we got up 45 minutes later to go to work but we had to leave at noon so we worked a bit and packed our bags.

Since she didn't had a car and lived only one town from me I proposed to drive here home so that she didn't had to take the train. Two hours later when we got to her home, her parents weren't at home and she didn't had a key. So we decided to go have something to drink because it was such nice weather, we drank a few beers again and then her parents called to tell they where home. So I took her home to drop of her suitcases that were still in my car and when I was ready to leave she told me she was going to have a drink with some of her friends that got back from a long vacation in America and asked me to come with her. So again I did go with her and stayed at that bar till we were literally falling asleep because we were almost 40 hours awake while only working ,drinking and smoking.

We exchanged numbers, gave each other a hug and she told me I could always call her when I wanted go have another beer or joint.

And that was yesterday and then today I woke up in my own bed, that was empty because my wife was with her parents and instead of feeling great I feel so confused.

I have the feeling that I had been closer with the girl I've met two days ago that I have ever been to my wife since we got married. Although there was nothing romantic between us, it was just a really beautiful girl that liked the same things that I do. And that's a really strange feeling, maybe I'm in love with that girl but am I just trying to ignore it because I love my wife. But on the other hand don't I want to go back to my office job and tv evening life. I want something to change to have more fun in my life. I have totally no idea what to do now.

Anyway, sorry about the rambling but I feel already a bit more at ease after writing all of this down here.

ps. if you read this, thanks for making it trough the whole text

turmaline · 04-24-2011, 08:36 AM

life i short.

there's nothing wrong with you feeling this way, you are only human.

change can be hard, and scary, but live a fullfilling life...be reallly true to yourself.

turmaline · 04-24-2011, 08:52 AM

orrr talk to your wife...start hangin out again? Sounds like you're in a major slump you guys are like my parents..and they are old.

Your wife may feelthe same way...most likely.

Dr.Haze · 04-24-2011, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.T

you guys are like my parents..and they are old.

thanks mr.T, you made me laugh for the first time today

and I really respect you're advise...

turmaline · 04-24-2011, 09:11 AM

Well eiher way when t really comes down to it..You know in your heart what you want.

Dr.Haze · 04-24-2011, 09:27 AM

I always thought I knew what I wanted...

But my life has changed so gradually that it took something like this to make me realize how much it has really changed, I guess I will just have to give it some time but I'm sure that something is going to change in the near future
I just don't know what exactly

turmaline · 04-24-2011, 09:39 AM

Do you have kids yet? Maybe that's the missing link...orr be careful and don't go having any if you arent sure what's goin on.

entrapment.

i may be giving bad advice....be advised..

Dr.Haze · 04-24-2011, 09:46 AM

no we don't have kids yet, my wife wants one, but I'm not sure yet
my wife has gone back to school since last year, so we will have to wait with children until we have two incomes again

turmaline · 04-24-2011, 09:52 AM

kids are fun and fullfilling, but only if you are ready..the last thing a woman needs is a resentful husband..she'll need alot of support...just a thought.

they are alot of hard work too.

Mikey · 04-24-2011, 10:14 AM

I understand completely where your coming from.
And you won't find answers here; but what I can tell you is just follow your heart.

Come to think of it , sounds like I should start taking my own advice too.

Dr.Haze · 04-24-2011, 10:49 AM

Thanks for the reply Mikey!

I know there is nobody who can tell me what to do, everything has it advantages and disadvantages.

I just heard that my wife is going to stay another night at her parents, so I'm going to get me a bottle of whiskey and try to figure things out

@ mr.T: I'm sure that kids can be fun and fulfilling but I'm also really sure that I'm not yet ready for kids

turmaline · 04-24-2011, 11:21 AM

Good to see you're responsible bout it.

Dr.Haze · 04-24-2011, 12:32 PM

1/4 bottle gone, no solution yet

turmaline · 04-24-2011, 12:41 PM

wear a condom!! lolol

HTAM · 04-24-2011, 01:04 PM

Even though there are only two of you, there are three that need to be looked after.

'It's not that we don't love each other anymore, she just likes to watch sitcoms all night and I hate sitcoms so I leave her and go do something on my own.'

I'm cherry picking this because it serves to explain my point when I say it's all right to have your own time for yourselves. To have separate interests.

You have two of the three covered with that.

The third 'person' is the relationship you have together, and it sounds like it's being overlooked. Pick one night a week-and vow to leave the house-no poker or sitcoms that night. Go out on a date. Surprise her. Go buy a Gift Certificate for a couples massage. Do things together that involve you going places, seeing things, experiencing things-things that you both enjoy.

Go ride a roller coaster and you'll figure it all out together before the ride is over.

I don't hang around with my friends NEARLY as much as I did before I met my wife, but I'll tell you this. As much as I loved the friend time and independence, knowing that I have someone to depend on to make the best decisions for me when I can't, is a serious piece of mind.

Dr.Haze · 04-24-2011, 03:51 PM

I have just finished my bottle of whiskey

But I was coming to that conclusion also

It's not because I had a great time with an other girl that I can't have the same great time with my wife, I just need to make more time for her.

Thanks all for the replay's, I feel a lot better than this morning

It has been at least five years since I was on yahooka but it is really great to know that here is still a place where I can discuss everything that I have nobody else to tell

thanks a lot guys!!!

Geeno · 04-24-2011, 08:13 PM

youre 25 and with the same girl for 9 years?

Yikes!

I find this terrifying though I often fantasize about the possibility of never having broken up with my girlfriend of that era.

le sigh

stupid life, stupid grass and stupid shades of green

Jester4yall · 04-24-2011, 08:24 PM

Its not that great lol.. I was with pretty much the same girl from 17-27.. Off and on @ 1st then married the last 5 1/2.. I'm 28 btw..

Dr haze: good rationalization mang.. Maybe you and your wife could get a date nite going with another couple.. I dunno just an idea..

NorcalCarl · 04-25-2011, 07:15 AM

Dr- Sounds like spending more time with your wife will be good. Think about what you have in life / what you want and if any changes need to be made. Just don't stick with what your doing if its not enjoyable because its the easier thing to do. Do what you want.

The Shombadia · 04-26-2011, 10:35 AM

Take into account the waxing and waning of your emotions. You had a few good days where your emotions went out on a limb farther than they usually do and now your back, an though nothing has changed you feel a little awkward about your present life. 25 years old is young to be making vows with ladies to shack up with them for the rest of your life. Think of all the women you will meet in the next 5 years. Are you old enough to know what you want in a companion that you are gonna spend the rest of your life with? Where ever life takes you its alright. You made a vow with a woman that you should keep. Don't be a fizzle. Keep a good social life. Don't be so exclusive to your woman and be around other men. Your a young Beast prolly with still a lot of fire in you. Throw some fuel on the flame.

04-24-2011, 08:27 AM	#1 (permalink)
Dr.Haze stoned rider Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Europe Posts: 146 Thanks: 11 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts	me and my boring life... I have been feeling really strange today and don't really know what to do. I'm 25 years old, I have a good job that I like doing. I'm married for two years (we have been together for 9 years) and live in a nice apartment. I have been living the same life for three years now without any major worries, I was always happy with my life until today. Today I woke up after the best two days I've had in three years and instead of feeling good I feel like there is something wrong with my life. Maybe it is just a temporally feeling that will fade away, but maybe there is really something wrong and I should change something... I have the feeling that I miss out on so much because I don't really have an friends left. Three years ago when I still lived with my parents I had tons of friends. Every night I was out with friends, sitting in park with some joints and bottles of wine, or going to a bar and stayed there till the sun came up. But lately I have the feeling that I lost most of my friends because now I live with my wife in a decent apartment and almost every day is the same. I go to work, come home, eat, play poker on the computer, randomly surf the Internet or watching tv till three in the morning and then goes to bed much later than my wife, so all the interaction I have with her is just talking while I'm on the computer or watching tv together, but mostly she is watching sitcoms on her laptop while I'm playing poker on mine. It's not that we don't love each other anymore, she just likes to watch sitcoms all night and I hate sitcoms so I leave her and go do something on my own. But I felt fine with that until this morning. So what happend: A friend of mine that lives 200 miles from me called me two weeks ago if I could come help him with something that he had to do, but it would take three days of hard work. He would pay for my hotel and asked me to come Thursday morning, so I went and there were 4 other people that I had never seen that would stay with us. So we started working on the project until late in the evening, the last thing we needed to do was making some pictures of a large fire in the woods. The work for that day was finished at around midnight but we had some beer with us and I had a lot of hash. But everybody was tired and went to bed except a girl that wanted to some one joint before going to bed. So the two of us stayed in the forest and told the others to go ahead and that we would come to the hotel a bit later. It was one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen but she had a boyfriend and I'm married, so we just talked a bit smoked a joint and drank a two beers and went to bed. Then the next day every break we took from working on the project she would come and talk to me and we laughed about the stupidest things. So when that evening the work was done everybody went straight to their rooms to go to bed. But I asked her if she would come smoke one more joint before going to bed because I knew she hadn't any weed with her. It was great weather and we walked to the night shop around the corner to get some beer to go with the joint. We went and sat on grass in the middle of a city park and I rolled a joint and again we started to talk about everything and nothing while drinking beer and smoking. It was around 1am that the joint was finished and I asked her if she wanted me to roll another one and get some more beer or if she would like to go to bed because we needed to get up at 8am. But she said she didn't felt tired and so we walked back to the night shop and bought more beer and walked back to the park to smoke an other one. We were laughing, listing to music on my ipod, playing with her cellphone, making stupid pictures while we kept rolling and smoking joints and drinking beer until it was 7 in the morning and sun was shining. We both slept with someone else and we didn't wanted to wake them an hour before we needed to get up so we decided to go have a quick sleep in my car. We slept on the front seats for and we got up 45 minutes later to go to work but we had to leave at noon so we worked a bit and packed our bags. Since she didn't had a car and lived only one town from me I proposed to drive here home so that she didn't had to take the train. Two hours later when we got to her home, her parents weren't at home and she didn't had a key. So we decided to go have something to drink because it was such nice weather, we drank a few beers again and then her parents called to tell they where home. So I took her home to drop of her suitcases that were still in my car and when I was ready to leave she told me she was going to have a drink with some of her friends that got back from a long vacation in America and asked me to come with her. So again I did go with her and stayed at that bar till we were literally falling asleep because we were almost 40 hours awake while only working ,drinking and smoking. We exchanged numbers, gave each other a hug and she told me I could always call her when I wanted go have another beer or joint. And that was yesterday and then today I woke up in my own bed, that was empty because my wife was with her parents and instead of feeling great I feel so confused. I have the feeling that I had been closer with the girl I've met two days ago that I have ever been to my wife since we got married. Although there was nothing romantic between us, it was just a really beautiful girl that liked the same things that I do. And that's a really strange feeling, maybe I'm in love with that girl but am I just trying to ignore it because I love my wife. But on the other hand don't I want to go back to my office job and tv evening life. I want something to change to have more fun in my life. I have totally no idea what to do now. Anyway, sorry about the rambling but I feel already a bit more at ease after writing all of this down here. ps. if you read this, thanks for making it trough the whole text __________________ "Mom and dad are my relatives, therefore I am" Einstein's theory of relativity by Kelly Bundy

04-24-2011, 08:36 AM	#2 (permalink)
turmaline hotdog! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 1,674 Thanks: 513 Thanked 927 Times in 536 Posts	life i short. there's nothing wrong with you feeling this way, you are only human. change can be hard, and scary, but live a fullfilling life...be reallly true to yourself. __________________ "I'd rather a frontallabotomy...th an a bottleinfrontofme".

04-24-2011, 08:52 AM	#3 (permalink)
turmaline hotdog! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 1,674 Thanks: 513 Thanked 927 Times in 536 Posts	orrr talk to your wife...start hangin out again? Sounds like you're in a major slump you guys are like my parents..and they are old. Your wife may feelthe same way...most likely. __________________ "I'd rather a frontallabotomy...th an a bottleinfrontofme".

04-24-2011, 09:11 AM	#5 (permalink)
turmaline hotdog! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 1,674 Thanks: 513 Thanked 927 Times in 536 Posts	Well eiher way when t really comes down to it..You know in your heart what you want. __________________ "I'd rather a frontallabotomy...th an a bottleinfrontofme".

04-24-2011, 09:27 AM	#6 (permalink)
Dr.Haze stoned rider Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Europe Posts: 146 Thanks: 11 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts	I always thought I knew what I wanted... But my life has changed so gradually that it took something like this to make me realize how much it has really changed, I guess I will just have to give it some time but I'm sure that something is going to change in the near future I just don't know what exactly __________________ "Mom and dad are my relatives, therefore I am" Einstein's theory of relativity by Kelly Bundy

04-24-2011, 09:39 AM	#7 (permalink)
turmaline hotdog! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 1,674 Thanks: 513 Thanked 927 Times in 536 Posts	Do you have kids yet? Maybe that's the missing link...orr be careful and don't go having any if you arent sure what's goin on. entrapment. i may be giving bad advice....be advised.. __________________ "I'd rather a frontallabotomy...th an a bottleinfrontofme".

04-24-2011, 09:46 AM	#8 (permalink)
Dr.Haze stoned rider Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Europe Posts: 146 Thanks: 11 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts	no we don't have kids yet, my wife wants one, but I'm not sure yet my wife has gone back to school since last year, so we will have to wait with children until we have two incomes again __________________ "Mom and dad are my relatives, therefore I am" Einstein's theory of relativity by Kelly Bundy

04-24-2011, 09:52 AM	#9 (permalink)
turmaline hotdog! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 1,674 Thanks: 513 Thanked 927 Times in 536 Posts	kids are fun and fullfilling, but only if you are ready..the last thing a woman needs is a resentful husband..she'll need alot of support...just a thought. they are alot of hard work too. __________________ "I'd rather a frontallabotomy...th an a bottleinfrontofme".

04-24-2011, 10:14 AM	#10 (permalink)
Mikey Seasoned YaHookan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: gulf islands bc Posts: 7,443 Thanks: 1,144 Thanked 2,246 Times in 1,475 Posts	I understand completely where your coming from. And you won't find answers here; but what I can tell you is just follow your heart. Come to think of it , sounds like I should start taking my own advice too. __________________ RIP Gov

04-24-2011, 10:49 AM	#11 (permalink)
Dr.Haze stoned rider Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Europe Posts: 146 Thanks: 11 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts	Thanks for the reply Mikey! I know there is nobody who can tell me what to do, everything has it advantages and disadvantages. I just heard that my wife is going to stay another night at her parents, so I'm going to get me a bottle of whiskey and try to figure things out @ mr.T: I'm sure that kids can be fun and fulfilling but I'm also really sure that I'm not yet ready for kids __________________ "Mom and dad are my relatives, therefore I am" Einstein's theory of relativity by Kelly Bundy

04-24-2011, 11:21 AM	#12 (permalink)
turmaline hotdog! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 1,674 Thanks: 513 Thanked 927 Times in 536 Posts	Good to see you're responsible bout it. __________________ "I'd rather a frontallabotomy...th an a bottleinfrontofme".

04-24-2011, 12:32 PM	#13 (permalink)
Dr.Haze stoned rider Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Europe Posts: 146 Thanks: 11 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts	1/4 bottle gone, no solution yet __________________ "Mom and dad are my relatives, therefore I am" Einstein's theory of relativity by Kelly Bundy

04-24-2011, 12:41 PM	#14 (permalink)
turmaline hotdog! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CANADA Posts: 1,674 Thanks: 513 Thanked 927 Times in 536 Posts	wear a condom!! lolol __________________ "I'd rather a frontallabotomy...th an a bottleinfrontofme".

04-24-2011, 01:04 PM	#15 (permalink)
HTAM Old School Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,872 Thanks: 2,368 Thanked 2,117 Times in 1,179 Posts	Even though there are only two of you, there are three that need to be looked after. 'It's not that we don't love each other anymore, she just likes to watch sitcoms all night and I hate sitcoms so I leave her and go do something on my own.' I'm cherry picking this because it serves to explain my point when I say it's all right to have your own time for yourselves. To have separate interests. You have two of the three covered with that. The third 'person' is the relationship you have together, and it sounds like it's being overlooked. Pick one night a week-and vow to leave the house-no poker or sitcoms that night. Go out on a date. Surprise her. Go buy a Gift Certificate for a couples massage. Do things together that involve you going places, seeing things, experiencing things-things that you both enjoy. Go ride a roller coaster and you'll figure it all out together before the ride is over. I don't hang around with my friends NEARLY as much as I did before I met my wife, but I'll tell you this. As much as I loved the friend time and independence, knowing that I have someone to depend on to make the best decisions for me when I can't, is a serious piece of mind.

04-24-2011, 03:51 PM	#16 (permalink)
Dr.Haze stoned rider Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Europe Posts: 146 Thanks: 11 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts	I have just finished my bottle of whiskey But I was coming to that conclusion also It's not because I had a great time with an other girl that I can't have the same great time with my wife, I just need to make more time for her. Thanks all for the replay's, I feel a lot better than this morning It has been at least five years since I was on yahooka but it is really great to know that here is still a place where I can discuss everything that I have nobody else to tell thanks a lot guys!!! __________________ "Mom and dad are my relatives, therefore I am" Einstein's theory of relativity by Kelly Bundy

04-24-2011, 08:24 PM	#18 (permalink)
Jester4yall Spark It or Park It Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Africa Posts: 3,659 Thanks: 2,775 Thanked 1,320 Times in 946 Posts	Its not that great lol.. I was with pretty much the same girl from 17-27.. Off and on @ 1st then married the last 5 1/2.. I'm 28 btw.. Dr haze: good rationalization mang.. Maybe you and your wife could get a date nite going with another couple.. I dunno just an idea.. __________________ http://i.imgur.com/CTV2E.gif In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock. -Thomas Jefferson You will encounter many distractions and many temptations to put your goal aside: The security of a job, a wife who wants kids, whatever. But if you hang in there, always following your vision, I have no doubt you will succeed. - Larry Flynt

04-25-2011, 07:15 AM	#19 (permalink)
NorcalCarl JAH Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: SF! Posts: 669 Thanks: 73 Thanked 177 Times in 123 Posts	Dr- Sounds like spending more time with your wife will be good. Think about what you have in life / what you want and if any changes need to be made. Just don't stick with what your doing if its not enjoyable because its the easier thing to do. Do what you want. __________________ There is no charge for awesomeness- Don't ever forget to love thyself-

04-26-2011, 10:35 AM	#20 (permalink)
The Shombadia †µ€ §µØ¶ßªÐïª Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Along The 3rd Coast Posts: 484 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Take into account the waxing and waning of your emotions. You had a few good days where your emotions went out on a limb farther than they usually do and now your back, an though nothing has changed you feel a little awkward about your present life. 25 years old is young to be making vows with ladies to shack up with them for the rest of your life. Think of all the women you will meet in the next 5 years. Are you old enough to know what you want in a companion that you are gonna spend the rest of your life with? Where ever life takes you its alright. You made a vow with a woman that you should keep. Don't be a fizzle. Keep a good social life. Don't be so exclusive to your woman and be around other men. Your a young Beast prolly with still a lot of fire in you. Throw some fuel on the flame. __________________

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