Having Children

BigSpliffSmoka · 05-15-2011, 10:33 PM

So my girl has been talking about having a child lately. We've actually been trying this week... but won't find out until the end of the month.
I am set with a good job. My wonderful woman is retired and is working on her spirituality currently.
Any one have any advice? I guess I'm nervous... it seems like my life is over once I have a child. But at the same time it would be great to bring something into this world.

**Mafoo** · 05-15-2011, 11:04 PM

im not a parent but my advice would be to learn from your child.

good luck! im sure youll be a fine parental unit

Sir-Ex · 05-15-2011, 11:38 PM

Being a father, I will say this: have a blast.

If a dude like me in his early twenties, who doesn't make a lot of money, who never planned on having a kid, who doesn't get to share the joy of parenthood with the mother, who had to accept the responsibility of it and grow up a lot quicker than most people I know, and who still feels absolutely content and free of regret about the whole situation, I am sure you'll do just fine man.

The Don · 05-15-2011, 11:42 PM

I have no advice.

Just loads of luck, and keep your head cool.

Also, changing diapers is the easy part I think.

I'm hopefully going to be a farther this winter.

Bad dog · 05-22-2011, 09:56 AM

I say that to know the woman you want to make a family with is know her mother.

They all turn into mini versions of their mothers, NO MATTER WHAT.

If her mom is a cool lady then the chances are that your lady will also stay cool after kids.

Kids change women a lot more than men. It all seems hunky dory now but what happens after will determine whether you will enjoy the experience to the fullest.

Its a thing you can't do alone so be really sure about your partner BEFORE you make kids.

Making them is the easy part that any retard can do. Being there for the next 20 years is a lot harder.

HTAM · 05-22-2011, 11:30 AM

Parenthood-no matter how much you plan for it you're never ready.

My wife's pregnancy was completely unplanned. She was vigilant about birth control, because she was finishing her BA, we wanted to got o Vega$ to get married a year to the day we met, and then go to Europe and walk around for a little while.

I was growing full-time, and things were starting to streamline for our plans.

And then one day....

Now, leading up to the birth, there are lots of ups and downs. Mostly ups though.

Lots of rearranging, compromise, and new priorities.

Lots of reading. There are many books on Father/Motherhood, and I strongly recommend that you both read a couple. They are full of time tested wisdom, and THAT is what is most important to understand.

That will make more sense to you about 3 months into your child's life when you are both living on a couple of hours of sleep. True story.

You'll both be reminded of everything about yourselves that you love and things about yourselves that never occurred to you-that might make you say 'Wow. I've been doing that my whole life and didn't even realize it.' Because the child will show you.

They will emulate you to the T.

Now, the life being over part-it depends on how you look at things.

If your life is doing whatever you want when you want to do it, then, yes, THAT life is over.

However, your life will become far more important once you become a parent. This will be inherently clear when you hold your child for the first time.

It's the beginning of a new phase in life. I call it the 'I get it now' phase. There have been countless moments in the 4 years of my daughters life when I wished I could call my Mom and say 'I get it now.' This phase will continue for about 8 more years when it will abruptly end because my daughter has been kidnapped and replaced by a diva on her 13th birthday.

I hear often, 'Man, you got it good. Keep it together and don't screw it up.' This from friends who would frequently preach the 'Get married, have a kid, your life is over' mantra years ago. Yea, they still go out all the time, randomly get laid, and have the weekends to do whatever they want to do. And I miss it sometimes. But, not much.

Having no responsibility or commitments creates a lot of spontaneity in our lives and that can be great. Hell, I could do whatever the hell I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it in my single life. And it was great. But the thing that you forget about is a lot of that time is spent figuring out what you are actually going to do. Meeting at the bar trying to figure out if we're going out on the lake, heading to LODO, one of several parties raging that night, or going to ANOTHER bar-hours of that nonsense have been logged in my single life. Now-now it's like, 'Yea, let's hang out, what are we doing and when are we doing it?' and I'm okay with that. I prefer it actually.

Those that say, 'Oh you have kids-guess you don't get to do much anymore.' Ha. That's funny. It seems true for the very early part of the child's life. Then you realize that it was never true. Some asshole made that shit up, and it stuck. You suddenly figure out how to work a job, be a Spouse (make every effort to build on your marriage, daily!!!!!) be a Parent, manage your obligations around the house, and find time for yourself. There is nothing dull about it. It's repetitive sometimes, but I couldn't ever call it dull.

Looking forward to the first post about the good news when the two of you find out your pregnant. Because it ain't just her, dude. It's you too.

This is Little Wings first pic. Just after the first visit to the doctor who made the unofficial news, totally official.

Make sure you get one of these for yourself.

The Rev · 05-22-2011, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bad dog

I say that to know the woman you want to make a family with is know her mother.

They all turn into mini versions of their mothers, NO MATTER WHAT.

If her mom is a cool lady then the chances are that your lady will also stay cool after kids.

Kids change women a lot more than men. It all seems hunky dory now but what happens after will determine whether you will enjoy the experience to the fullest.

Its a thing you can't do alone so be really sure about your partner BEFORE you make kids.

Making them is the easy part that any retard can do. Being there for the next 20 years is a lot harder.

I can vouch for this. I've seen it time and again. Women really CAN change dramatically after having a kid. I see it with my own daughter, actually. She's different with her husband. I'm not saying it's the end of the world (or cannot be dealt with), but you have to be prepared for it and know with yourself if and how you are willing to deal with it.

The Rev

Xil · 05-22-2011, 02:06 PM

i always read 'trying to have a kid' as 'raw-dogging like theres no tomorrow'

no advice really, but good luck man

The Don · 05-22-2011, 02:11 PM

You could xil! My wife just informed that semen can live for 5 days in the woman.

We tried to hit the spots when she was ovulating (ugh), and we were blessed with the news within the first 3 months.

Pretty cool.

Just wanted to say thanks to the guys' who've chimed in even though I'm not the OP. You guys are making me hella excited.

Good lucks and lots of vuw all the way around.

BigSpliffSmoka · 05-23-2011, 06:21 AM

Lots of good input. Going to get a pregnancy test sometime in the next few days and hopefully will find out.

fenderbender · 05-23-2011, 04:10 PM

raw dog an raise a family.

Got no REAL advice considering pregnancy still scares the hell out of me but,

Id recommend doing everything you can (nothing) to NOT have a girl. All i know is being a parent of a teenage girl will most likely make you hate life and hope to die soon.

Teenage bitches are fucking INSANE.

pics of wife before preggo?

Sir-Ex · 05-23-2011, 04:28 PM

I sure hope having a teenage daughter is that bad..

Shae is feisty enough already...

fenderbender · 05-23-2011, 05:01 PM

pretty sure ALL teenage girls are fucking crazy and logic is completely lost on them till mid 20s.

Im sure they are all cute when they are little and all daddy's little girl n shit,...

soon enough it becomes "dad you dont know anything!" Then you catch her in your own bed with Tyrone. Then she probably runs away or something.

Id also like to add this.
While i believe both men and women are equally naive as teens and young adults, it seems like girls tend to make more "life changing" decisions during that naive time than boys do.

just sayin..

Geeno · 05-23-2011, 09:32 PM

lol at til mid 20s

BigSpliffSmoka · 05-23-2011, 09:32 PM

Yea I'm praying for boys. My mom raised me and my two younger brothers... once boys hit 12 its like fire and forget

HTAM · 05-24-2011, 02:03 AM

You can teach a girl to be tough-you can't teach a boy to be a sissy.

Bad dog · 05-25-2011, 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigSpliffSmoka

Lots of good input. .

which is the real point of this thread!

fenderbender · 05-25-2011, 05:43 PM

input penis. output baby.

BigSpliffSmoka · 07-19-2011, 11:20 AM

Yea after 4 months of "input penis, output baby" no luck.
I'm sure it's the years of working around satellite dishes beaming 22,000 miles into outer space.
F my life, I need to go get a fertility test done.

HTAM · 07-19-2011, 11:57 AM

Are you complaining about getting laid a lot?

05-15-2011, 10:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
BigSpliffSmoka ...@ War, BRB Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 967 Thanks: 16 Thanked 54 Times in 41 Posts	Having Children So my girl has been talking about having a child lately. We've actually been trying this week... but won't find out until the end of the month. I am set with a good job. My wonderful woman is retired and is working on her spirituality currently. Any one have any advice? I guess I'm nervous... it seems like my life is over once I have a child. But at the same time it would be great to bring something into this world. __________________ So if the devil wear Prada, Adam Eve wear Nada, I'm in between, but way more fresher.

05-15-2011, 11:04 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mafoo nice daze Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: the anguish of anticipated transformation Posts: 5,975 Thanks: 3,776 Thanked 2,652 Times in 1,698 Posts	im not a parent but my advice would be to learn from your child. good luck! im sure youll be a fine parental unit __________________ PLUR For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

05-15-2011, 11:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
Sir-Ex Learner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Edmonton, Alberta Posts: 11,416 Thanks: 1,726 Thanked 3,820 Times in 2,258 Posts	Being a father, I will say this: have a blast. If a dude like me in his early twenties, who doesn't make a lot of money, who never planned on having a kid, who doesn't get to share the joy of parenthood with the mother, who had to accept the responsibility of it and grow up a lot quicker than most people I know, and who still feels absolutely content and free of regret about the whole situation, I am sure you'll do just fine man. __________________ Smile Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

05-15-2011, 11:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
The Don You follow? Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 11,151 Thanks: 544 Thanked 781 Times in 426 Posts	I have no advice. Just loads of luck, and keep your head cool. Also, changing diapers is the easy part I think. I'm hopefully going to be a farther this winter. __________________ I am genuienly sad about my thanks:post ratio

05-22-2011, 02:06 PM	#8 (permalink)
Xil OD'ing on sobriety Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mizzura Posts: 3,334 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 1,036 Thanked 1,158 Times in 717 Posts	i always read 'trying to have a kid' as 'raw-dogging like theres no tomorrow' no advice really, but good luck man __________________ "we'll show these fascists what a couple of hillbillies can do"

05-22-2011, 11:30 AM	#6 (permalink)
HTAM Old School Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,872 Thanks: 2,368 Thanked 2,117 Times in 1,179 Posts	Parenthood-no matter how much you plan for it you're never ready. My wife's pregnancy was completely unplanned. She was vigilant about birth control, because she was finishing her BA, we wanted to got o Vega$ to get married a year to the day we met, and then go to Europe and walk around for a little while. I was growing full-time, and things were starting to streamline for our plans. And then one day.... Now, leading up to the birth, there are lots of ups and downs. Mostly ups though. Lots of rearranging, compromise, and new priorities. Lots of reading. There are many books on Father/Motherhood, and I strongly recommend that you both read a couple. They are full of time tested wisdom, and THAT is what is most important to understand. That will make more sense to you about 3 months into your child's life when you are both living on a couple of hours of sleep. True story. You'll both be reminded of everything about yourselves that you love and things about yourselves that never occurred to you-that might make you say 'Wow. I've been doing that my whole life and didn't even realize it.' Because the child will show you. They will emulate you to the T. Now, the life being over part-it depends on how you look at things. If your life is doing whatever you want when you want to do it, then, yes, THAT life is over. However, your life will become far more important once you become a parent. This will be inherently clear when you hold your child for the first time. It's the beginning of a new phase in life. I call it the 'I get it now' phase. There have been countless moments in the 4 years of my daughters life when I wished I could call my Mom and say 'I get it now.' This phase will continue for about 8 more years when it will abruptly end because my daughter has been kidnapped and replaced by a diva on her 13th birthday. I hear often, 'Man, you got it good. Keep it together and don't screw it up.' This from friends who would frequently preach the 'Get married, have a kid, your life is over' mantra years ago. Yea, they still go out all the time, randomly get laid, and have the weekends to do whatever they want to do. And I miss it sometimes. But, not much. Having no responsibility or commitments creates a lot of spontaneity in our lives and that can be great. Hell, I could do whatever the hell I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it in my single life. And it was great. But the thing that you forget about is a lot of that time is spent figuring out what you are actually going to do. Meeting at the bar trying to figure out if we're going out on the lake, heading to LODO, one of several parties raging that night, or going to ANOTHER bar-hours of that nonsense have been logged in my single life. Now-now it's like, 'Yea, let's hang out, what are we doing and when are we doing it?' and I'm okay with that. I prefer it actually. Those that say, 'Oh you have kids-guess you don't get to do much anymore.' Ha. That's funny. It seems true for the very early part of the child's life. Then you realize that it was never true. Some asshole made that shit up, and it stuck. You suddenly figure out how to work a job, be a Spouse (make every effort to build on your marriage, daily!!!!!) be a Parent, manage your obligations around the house, and find time for yourself. There is nothing dull about it. It's repetitive sometimes, but I couldn't ever call it dull. Looking forward to the first post about the good news when the two of you find out your pregnant. Because it ain't just her, dude. It's you too. This is Little Wings first pic. Just after the first visit to the doctor who made the unofficial news, totally official. Make sure you get one of these for yourself.

05-22-2011, 02:11 PM	#9 (permalink)
The Don You follow? Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 11,151 Thanks: 544 Thanked 781 Times in 426 Posts	You could xil! My wife just informed that semen can live for 5 days in the woman. We tried to hit the spots when she was ovulating (ugh), and we were blessed with the news within the first 3 months. Pretty cool. Just wanted to say thanks to the guys' who've chimed in even though I'm not the OP. You guys are making me hella excited. Good lucks and lots of vuw all the way around. __________________ I am genuienly sad about my thanks:post ratio

05-23-2011, 06:21 AM	#10 (permalink)
BigSpliffSmoka ...@ War, BRB Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 967 Thanks: 16 Thanked 54 Times in 41 Posts	Lots of good input. Going to get a pregnancy test sometime in the next few days and hopefully will find out. __________________ So if the devil wear Prada, Adam Eve wear Nada, I'm in between, but way more fresher.

05-23-2011, 04:28 PM	#12 (permalink)
Sir-Ex Learner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Edmonton, Alberta Posts: 11,416 Thanks: 1,726 Thanked 3,820 Times in 2,258 Posts	I sure hope having a teenage daughter is that bad.. Shae is feisty enough already... __________________ Smile Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

05-23-2011, 09:32 PM	#15 (permalink)
BigSpliffSmoka ...@ War, BRB Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 967 Thanks: 16 Thanked 54 Times in 41 Posts	Yea I'm praying for boys. My mom raised me and my two younger brothers... once boys hit 12 its like fire and forget __________________ So if the devil wear Prada, Adam Eve wear Nada, I'm in between, but way more fresher.

05-24-2011, 02:03 AM	#16 (permalink)
HTAM Old School Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,872 Thanks: 2,368 Thanked 2,117 Times in 1,179 Posts	You can teach a girl to be tough-you can't teach a boy to be a sissy.

07-19-2011, 11:20 AM	#19 (permalink)
BigSpliffSmoka ...@ War, BRB Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 967 Thanks: 16 Thanked 54 Times in 41 Posts	Yea after 4 months of "input penis, output baby" no luck. I'm sure it's the years of working around satellite dishes beaming 22,000 miles into outer space. F my life, I need to go get a fertility test done. __________________ So if the devil wear Prada, Adam Eve wear Nada, I'm in between, but way more fresher.

07-19-2011, 11:57 AM	#20 (permalink)
HTAM Old School Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,872 Thanks: 2,368 Thanked 2,117 Times in 1,179 Posts	Are you complaining about getting laid a lot?

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode