BudSniffer

I was just told my 90 yr old grandmother fell twice last Monday and my Uncle had to put her in an assisted living place. He had to have a talk with her and explain it was best, and if she gets better she can go back home.
I really feel bad for him, I would not have wanted to be in his shoes for the world. And I feel bad for her, she is very independent, she has 3 cats, and just in the last 3-5 years has lost the two other joys of her life, her plants/flowers and cooking. My grandfather passed away in 2001 and I know she is lonely for him also.
The bad thing, that really pisses me off, is I have another sorry-ass Uncle that lives less than 75 feet from her. He has been sorry his whole life, never keeping a job, hasn't worked since the mid-80's, wife won't work, always on the verge of losing their house, hooked on pills, and my grandmother's trailer is on their land, he has 3 kids, and takes advantage of my grandmother. My grandmother cannot even count on them for anything, she tried to call them when she fell and got no answer, so she pressed her "I've fallen and can't get up" button, and they in turn called my other Uncle that lives about 8 miles away, and he was finally able to call his brother and tell them to get over their and unlock the door, so the EMT's wouldn't break it down.
My grandmother has paid their bills, bought groceries for them, and they have "borrowed" and trashed 3 vehicles that were her and my grandfathers, and 2 yrs ago she bought a van, "so someone would have a way to take her to the doctor and get groceries", you can guess who has driven it into the ground, does no maintenance on it, and acts like it belongs to them.
My grandmother is very much a people person, always the life of the party cracking jokes and such, and never meets a stranger. I hope this will help her start a new life, she knows lots of people and loves to talk. I'm afraid if it doesn't she might go downhill fast. She always insisted we have Christmas at their house, and there was a gift for everyone, no matter how tight money was, and there was food beyond belief. She would spend weeks before hand making candies and cakes and cheese balls, everyone's favorites....until my grandfather passed away and the house became to small for us all to fit in at once My grandmother had more flowers than anyone I know. People would stop their cars in the street to admire the variety and colors in her yard. My grandad would fuss every fall, as he had to lug big pots inside on the back porch to keep her plants from freezing......LOL
Sorry if I'm writing a book here, but my grandmother has always been close to me and is the most special woman in the world to me, and it breaks my heart for her to have to leave her home.....

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"Nobody thinks the way that I do, I guess nobody dares. My head's so full of things, I set my mind free of them. I'm breaking the rules, breaking all the rules. " -Ozzy Osbourne

my_scatterheart

Are you close enough to visit, etc.? Obviously visiting and chatting would be a bonus for her - but also maybe trying to set something up with the folks that work there in the way of allowing her to garden? Maybe like a garden box outside somewhere, I mean obviously depends on the facility grounds, but there's always at least one person there who will go to the end of the earth to help your grams out. And/or window plants, if shes got one.

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Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

~1~

Most seniors will rail at the thought of an assisted living facility...


Until they get there, then things change up a bit, as long as it's a decent place with a decent staff and shit to do.

The days of the 'convalescent hospital' are going away as taking care of the seniors is the new cash cow, used to be they would get stuffed in a corner and wait to die, not so much any more.


And hey, can you go visit? Nothing in the world old folks love more than showing off the grand kids, even if they're in their thirties.







I still think about Nany every day, I miss her.

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BudSniffer

Yeah, I am going to see her this weekend... I only live about 20 miles away...this seems like a good place, my Uncle said they have weiner roast and stuff and they will even let them bring her cats to visit. And my Uncle's son just happens to be a maintenance man there too....
Unfortunately she can't garden anymore, she can't get down on her knees, stoop or any of that, she has to use a walker most of the time. She can't cook anymore, don't know what happens, she just ends up burning stuff and things don't turn out for her like they used to......

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"Nobody thinks the way that I do, I guess nobody dares. My head's so full of things, I set my mind free of them. I'm breaking the rules, breaking all the rules. " -Ozzy Osbourne

Mafoo

my grandmother is 92 and she has a caretaker. shes got a bit of dementia so she really needs to be cared for alot. im her youngest grandchild and she doesnt know me anymore

sorry about the poor situation, i hope you can at least visit and stuff. you say shes very social, thats a good thing! keeping contact with people helps preserve mental function as a person ages

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PLUR
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

my_scatterheart

It doesn't hafta be down low muddy handed gardening. I think youd be surprised at what just being able to pour a glass of water on something does for a person. Pinch dead buds off of stuff. sighh. I hope she finds herself happy there, secure.

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Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

farmergiles

Sorry to hear about your grandmothers's fall, maybe she'll be better off in the assisted living place though...

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Cultivate a stoic calmness

Dr. Nick Nasty

My gramps passed away on the 11th and they are moving my gram into an assisted living community. i feel for you man.

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The Rev

My wife's company does business with a number of assisted living places, and from what I've seen of them, I'd really want to live in one when I get that old. They're nice places, and you're surrounded by people your own age; people who've lived in the same world you have, so to speak.



The Rev

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zoltron

Yeah, that's gotta be a tough scene to go thru. Both my folks passed away before either 1 needed assisted-living. In fact, today marks my mom's 15th year of being in Heaven. If anyone I know who's died & deserves the best, it's my mom. She be da coolest!!
1 thing I'm not afraid of doing is dying. Granted, I'm not trying to hurry it along, but when it happens, I just hope it's in my sleep.

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