adventure

SO I think I am going to check myself in to rehab... I have such an addictive personally, and I need help. Getting high consumes me. Im not even really addicted to anything, mostly because I can't get hard drugs. if my neighbor sold dope i would be in really bad shape i know that for sure. I have been getting pain killers from my dentist. I had two root canals, and 2 wisdom teeth pulled in like a month. I love pain killers. Last night i stole 9 Vicodin from my girlfriends mom. she found out. I love her, I didn't think twice about it. I'm always thinking of ways to get high. and now it really hurt my most important relationship. I was a horrible alcoholic. I some how bet that... for the most part. I'm definitively addict to Tramadol, which im pretty sure gave me a seizure about a month and a half ago. I know I am going to have to give up drink forever.... but I know my quality of life will be so much better after this. I have come really close to putting myself into treatment, but i always talk myself out of it. I live such a normal life... well that's the way everyone else sees it.

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SageTree

Adventure, thanks for opening up and sharing.

You need to do what you feel it takes.

I'm not saying it's the case, but often harmful/risky behaviours that become a problem are a band-aid of sorts that are covering up somethings. That is, it's self medication sometimes.

I'm not sure if this is true for you or not.

But I implore you, if you do go and get help somewhere to make sure that it's more than an abstinence only program. Not that never doing whatever again is bad, rather, in places where they advocate ONLY 'never again' I feel people aren't given the tools it takes to live through a life of recovery/abstention.

Now what I mean?

Make sure, if you can, that you are in a place that can holistically help you out, not JUST make you quite, and nothing more.

On that note, have you considered going to see an addictions counselor and not going to admitted to rehab but rather doing it out[patient wise? Where you'd go as scheduled.

Know what I mean?

Maybe this will address some of the issues and challenges you are having at the moment rather than going full blow.

HOWEVER.. all that said, please do what is right for you on all the counts I mentioned.

My interest is you feel good about yourself and being healthy as well.

PM me if you'd like to talk more privately or ask anything here.
My Wife has done various forms of counseling and I'm fairly aware of some of the ins and out of addictions treatment, as well as knowledge gained from my own experience in working with people who have addictions.

You can do it Brother. Being aware is a big first step.


SageTree

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deadhead94

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind and should check myself into a psychiatric hospital. But then it passes and I'm good to go.

Also, sorry, but this seems relevant.

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adventure

I used to be quite any drugs when I was in high school and I used to run a program called Teen Outreach. I actually just reached out the social worker who used to head the program. I just told my girlfriend, that was a huge step for me I have never talked to anyone about it before. I am not physical addicted to anything, and i'm not doing heroin or smoking crack. I can go through most of the day with out anything, but I think about it all day. I am not living my life to the fullest, and Im 27 I should be at the pinnacle of life. I shouldnt be daydreaming about getting some percet and sitting on my couch, i should be daydreaming about going on vacation some place or...something

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Mafoo

good for you adventure, i hope you get yourself to the place you are envisioning

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PLUR
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

adventure

I wish i could just do drugs on the weekend, wish I could be a good drug user... I can't so I guess I can't do any at all. I just need to focus on how amazing life is and not just a handful of selfish ones.

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Mafoo

im far from being a sober person, but ive noticed that the busier i am the less i think about that beer or that bowl or w/e. maybe you can pick up extra shifts at work? or do some something that makes you feel good.. ive been going out to bars alot lately to check out dj's and talk to girls. i realize this may be counterintuitive(goi ng to a bar to keep your mind off drugs ), but ive had alot more fun the times when i went out sober.

best of luck

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PLUR
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

Roach

addiction is usually a cover for something else missing/troubling you, in your life.


Just because you use drugs does not mean you're addicted to them.

Understanding these two premises is a big step in resolving whatever issues you may be having at this point in your life.

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לזיין את הקופים

adventure

I think about drugs more then anything else. I always want to have some kind of buzz, Im not a binger, I like a little buzz all day, I live in a false reality. I used to be a horrible alcoholic i was drunk 24/7 no one knew, if i started to sober up I would get sick. Now if i do not drink for a day (because i took to many percets, and i don't want my liver to implode) I dont get the shakes anymore. but I still sneak extra drinks. My girlfriend thinks i drank 3 beers, but I also slugged back 8oz of whiskey too. I don't want to lie to her, I don't want to be living a double life. It sucks.... I don't really care about much any more, because Im always numb or too busy looking for some kind of buzz

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Jester4yall

Adventure your 1 of my favorite people on here. I think you will make the right choice brah. I really hope you can learn from recent events to better yourself and your loved ones. I see alot of me in you right now. I was a big user of coke and booze for the longest time. I too craved the constant buzz. It isn't worth it broseph and your relizing this. Gr8 for your no bs!

I think rehab of some sort would be good. I think like an out patient program would suffice. You just gotta figure out what is most comfortable for you. I went thru 4 different groups b4 I found one I felt I could relate to. I think my court ordered was poss. in the top 5 things to influence me for the better. I think your on the right road. Best of luck

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In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock. -Thomas Jefferson

You will encounter many distractions and many temptations to put your goal aside: The security of a job, a wife who wants kids, whatever. But if you hang in there, always following your vision, I have no doubt you will succeed. - Larry Flynt

adventure

Thanks guys. I talked to a counselor that I used to work with back in high school almost 10 years ago, but in High school i was on the other side of the coin, so it was a little weird but he was great. He said he knows some great people. I don't think i need inpatient care right now, thank God, but I will see a counselor... I will keep everyone posted, and thanks again.

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HTAM

Be good to yourself, man.

If you're taking someone else's shit, you gotta revaluate your situation.

adventure

that was the final straw... someone who i really care about. it kills me.

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HTAM

Guilt is good.

SageTree

Right on man. I was hoping that'd you'd try a middle path first.
Best to you Brother.



Guilt CAN be good if it's for a good reason.

One of the reasons I went to counseling to overcome unhealthy guilt that I didn't need to be having.

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adventure

Good day everyone, thanks HTAM for the message! I didn't have a drink all weekend and no opiates! I did take a few Tramadol to ween myself off. I didn't take even to get high. Sleeping Saturday night really didn't happen. Sunday night I did sleep pretty good. I did do some core training and stretching before bed. I also got woken in the middle of the night for a blow job... a first, I have been woken for sex, never just for a jb! all in all I feel pretty good. We also went to the farmers market Sunday and stock up on some produce. In the midst of everything I kind of fell off eating as well. So i need to focus on a balanced diet, and making myself feel better that way.

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