I just realized it's been 15 years

Sugar420 · 11-16-2011, 10:46 AM

my first love was a boy named carlos. i was so crazy about him. we planned to get married and have a minivan and shop at walmart and die of old age surrounded by grandchildren. but things didnt work out like that.

carlos loved helicopters. i never understood why he was so fascinated with them, but i accepted that was just who he was. he went into the army so that he could learn to be a helicopter pilot, but when he was riding on a helicopter flown by a student pilot there was an accident, and he passed away.

since then i never wanted to be with anybody else.
i went on a couple dates but i felt like i was cheating on my carlos so nothing ever happened because there was no romantic magic, and i didnt care

i had a intimate relationship with a girlfriend that lasted about a year, and i never felt like i was cheating on him, but the sexual excitement wore off after about 6 months and then i pretty much only wanted to kiss and cuddle, nothing else - much to her frustration. so that ended unhappily.

i was lying in bed last night and it just kinda popped into my head -it's been 15 years since carlos died. and i was like, holy shit! 15 years? yup, that long.

i dont know why it matters and im not sure why im posting this here

adventure · 11-16-2011, 11:01 AM

Sugar thanks for sharing, I am sorry for your lose.
Do you feel like you are missing something not being with anyone? Or are you content being solo?

Sir-Ex · 11-16-2011, 11:09 AM

That sucks. Don't know what to say.

HTAM · 11-16-2011, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sugar420

my first love was a boy named carlos. i was so crazy about him. we planned to get married and have a minivan and shop at walmart and die of old age surrounded by grandchildren. but things didnt work out like that.

carlos loved helicopters. i never understood why he was so fascinated with them, but i accepted that was just who he was. he went into the army so that he could learn to be a helicopter pilot, but when he was riding on a helicopter flown by a student pilot there was an accident, and he passed away.

since then i never wanted to be with anybody else.
i went on a couple dates but i felt like i was cheating on my carlos so nothing ever happened because there was no romantic magic, and i didnt care

i had a intimate relationship with a girlfriend that lasted about a year, and i never felt like i was cheating on him, but the sexual excitement wore off after about 6 months and then i pretty much only wanted to kiss and cuddle, nothing else - much to her frustration. so that ended unhappily.

i was lying in bed last night and it just kinda popped into my head -it's been 15 years since carlos died. and i was like, holy shit! 15 years? yup, that long.

i dont know why it matters and im not sure why im posting this here

Maybe you just realized that you've grieved long enough, girl.

Let go.

**mothernature** · 11-16-2011, 01:36 PM

It's time.

The Rev · 11-16-2011, 01:55 PM

Yeah, you've suffered way to long. I think Carlos is probably looking down on you and hurting to see you so. Go be happy. You deserve it, V3d4.

The Rev

11-16-2011, 10:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
Sugar420 Freedom Bird Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 6,138 Thanks: 41 Thanked 183 Times in 733 Posts	I just realized it's been 15 years my first love was a boy named carlos. i was so crazy about him. we planned to get married and have a minivan and shop at walmart and die of old age surrounded by grandchildren. but things didnt work out like that. carlos loved helicopters. i never understood why he was so fascinated with them, but i accepted that was just who he was. he went into the army so that he could learn to be a helicopter pilot, but when he was riding on a helicopter flown by a student pilot there was an accident, and he passed away. since then i never wanted to be with anybody else. i went on a couple dates but i felt like i was cheating on my carlos so nothing ever happened because there was no romantic magic, and i didnt care i had a intimate relationship with a girlfriend that lasted about a year, and i never felt like i was cheating on him, but the sexual excitement wore off after about 6 months and then i pretty much only wanted to kiss and cuddle, nothing else - much to her frustration. so that ended unhappily. i was lying in bed last night and it just kinda popped into my head -it's been 15 years since carlos died. and i was like, holy shit! 15 years? yup, that long. i dont know why it matters and im not sure why im posting this here

11-16-2011, 11:01 AM	#2 (permalink)
adventure Adventure its good Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 4,742 Thanks: 1,852 Thanked 1,466 Times in 1,093 Posts	Sugar thanks for sharing, I am sorry for your lose. Do you feel like you are missing something not being with anyone? Or are you content being solo? __________________ Coming Full Range

11-16-2011, 11:09 AM	#3 (permalink)
Sir-Ex Learner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Edmonton, Alberta Posts: 11,416 Thanks: 1,726 Thanked 3,820 Times in 2,258 Posts	That sucks. Don't know what to say. __________________ Smile Ditch the cigs!!!!!!

11-16-2011, 01:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
mothernature ancientbongmaster Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,232 Thanks: 1,201 Thanked 809 Times in 487 Posts	It's time. __________________ Sometimes sleep is the best revenge- Luke

11-16-2011, 01:55 PM	#6 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,865 Thanks: 5,018 Thanked 5,420 Times in 2,865 Posts	Yeah, you've suffered way to long. I think Carlos is probably looking down on you and hurting to see you so. Go be happy. You deserve it, V3d4. The Rev __________________ Budforce - My Friend August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012

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