vanilla

so i've been dating this girl for the last 2 years, its been very rocky for a while now, weve broken up a couple times throughout that time and gotten back together within a week (obviously a huge foreshadowing there)

so a couple weeks ago, after fighting all week, we decided it was best to part ways. she stayed all night, we talked, all the tension and bitterness was wiped clean, and had a chance to rekindle out intial friendship and respect for each other, even as we broke up.

everything was fine for a couple days, when i talk to my mom and she tells me they have been emailing each other, and had plans to get together for dinner. i let it slide and say nothing, then on sunday she shows up at my place of work and mentions how she was at my house hanging out with my dad, and preparing dinner for me...
so all of this keeps happening, granted i should have said something but let it slide, because we both agreed to still exchange xmas gifts. i did this partly because she is close with my parents, so i know they all got presents for each other.

this isn't a huge issue to deal with, if i hadn't been talking to another girl recently. weve been out twice, as she has recently just got out of a long relationship. she knows i *was* involved long term, but we haven't talked about it directly, as im sure she assumes i'm recently single as well.. as i somewhat am.

basically, cliffs notes, im trying to get rid of girl A, as i already have, but it seems she doesnt get it, while trying to minimize static there, so girl B doesn't find out about my relationship complications after going on 2 dates with her. as it stands, girl B and I have not even kissed, so i haven't really done anything too bad.

thoughts? opinions? advice?
i feel terrible about this, dont want to hurt my *ex* but just need her out of my life at the moment, and the second girl is great so i dont want to screw that up

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my_scatterheart

Be upfront. At the end of the day it's your life and there's not enough time to be stuck in something you don't want. If she gets hurt, she gets hurt, it's not like you're doing something malicious.
edit: it's a little weird that she's hanging out with your parents and ish. I'd tell her to scram.

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Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

Roach

ditto.

A bit too clingy.

New years resolution time.

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farmergiles

I dunno, that all sounds like there is no reason not to carry on boning her.
I mean if she's not mental or junked.

You seem to like her Vanilla.

If there's one thing I tend to regret looking back it's failing to maximise shagging.

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clive

from the way you're putting it across you haven't broke up with the previous girlfriend at all have you? you're either with her or you're not there is no inbetween, make a definite choice and stick with it, cheating on her will only make shit worse.

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vanilla

i have broken up with her. we talked about it all night, agreed it was for the best, etc
but a week later shes acting like nothing happened

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farmergiles

Why do you want to split up with her?

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Cultivate a stoic calmness

my_scatterheart

Then tell her to get ta fuckin steppin.

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Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

vanilla

the relationship is terrible, it cannot be fixed, i dont want it to be fixed, it's run its course and i dont want to be with her anymore. when shes around, or texting me, or calling me, im depressed.

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clive

i think your main issue here is you'll feel like an evil cunt for ruining her xmas, it's only another week bro just hang on there til afterwards doubt you'll feel any better afterwards though

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farmergiles

Sorry if I seem like I'm picking but you didn't actually mention a reason there.

Why is the relationship terrible?

Why does she depress you?

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Cultivate a stoic calmness

Mikey

uh...ding ding ding right there
why are you even still talking to her
dont see her , get her out of your house, cut all ties.

you just said this is going nowhere why prolong the bullshit

if your over and done stop wasting time and tell her to fuck off good riddance

its your life you deserve to be happy

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RIP Gov

ChiefBongWater

It sounds like girl A is assuming/hoping that you guys will get back together again in a few weeks, like you say what usually happens. So thats probably why shes still hanging around acting nice.

You need to let her know that you are serious this time and it would be easier for you guys to cut ties completely.

*sorry it went sour by the way




I would have to disagree on this one. I once broke up with a girl who I had been dating for over a year, and we "continued to be friends" (f**ked) for a couple months afterwards. It was great at first, but one time right after we finished she randomly burst into tears and said she still had feelings and all that.

So in my experience it just make things too emotional for them, and more complicated for you.

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mothernature

That's because of your on and off relationship. She's thinking it's just another rocky patch.

You really want to break up for good? Stop texting and calling her back. Stop having sex with her. You can't be the one to comfort her through this. Even if you become friends again, in the future, you can't be friends now.

Next thing is tell your mom and dad that you 2 are broke up now. They need to know, so they can back off too. It would be very awkward to bring new girl home, only to find old girl has helped cook your supper.

It sucks that it's so close to Xmas, but it is what it is.

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fenderbender

was just in a similar situation. cept girlA didnt suck so bad.

did the kind-dick thing and just stopped being all that responsive after breaking up lol. :/


She'll get the point.

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<3

vanilla

thanks for all the replies guys
sometimes you know what to do, you just need to hear someone else say it, as weird as it sounds

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Canuck Wisdom

Yea thats true ^

Best of luck brah

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-Knowitall A&P type-