cutting wrists

fenderbender · 01-14-2012, 08:24 AM

girls cutting their wrists/thighs

so far all three of my girlfriends have cut themselves to relieve emotional pain or w/e.

the fuck?

my current love is the only one who has actually been suicidal and tried to kill herself more than once. Her poor wrist is all scarred up

It kills me.

she has done it since we have met as well.

Yet i overflow love for her. i MUST give it to her.

also justsayin every person im even semi close to has ended up doing heroin. weird.

so yeah, idk
im dating a girl who has been suicidal, is bipolar/ now receives electroshock therapy, cuts wrists when gets upset.
I absolutely love her to death.

any legit advice on possibly easing this shit as much as possible? Dont bother with any advice that would involve leaving her. helpful replies only plz

Sir-Ex · 01-14-2012, 08:33 AM

God damn it I thought this was FFA.

edit: I actually have no advice for a person like that. Personally I couldn't spend my time around them, got no time for people who can't handle their shit.

**SageTree** · 01-14-2012, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fenderbender

girls cutting their wrists/thighs

so far all three of my girlfriends have cut themselves to relieve emotional pain or w/e.

the fuck?

my current love is the only one who has actually been suicidal and tried to kill herself more than once. Her poor wrist is all scarred up

It kills me.

she has done it since we have met as well.

Yet i overflow love for her. i MUST give it to her.

also justsayin every person im even semi close to has ended up doing heroin. weird.

so yeah, idk
im dating a girl who has been suicidal, is bipolar/ now receives electroshock therapy, cuts wrists when gets upset.
I absolutely love her to death.

any legit advice on possibly easing this shit as much as possible? Dont bother with any advice that would involve leaving her. helpful replies only plz

3 girls.... they cut themselves BEFORE you meant?

She's tried to kill herself once since she's been with you?

Herion.... Had they done that BEFORE they meant you?

Quote:

Yet i overflow love for her. i MUST give it to her.

Are you taking personal responsibility to 'save' her?
Or do you feel like the cutting/herion is somehow your fault?

Basically fender, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is make sure this girl takes her meds, sees her doctors/therapists and be a good support system.

I'll won't probe into what 'love' is and just let it at that....

Remember this though,

In this life you can basically only walk with someone in their recovery/addictions/health journey....

That is, be a tool/asset for them along the way....

You can't take them to where you want them to be though.

You maybe all but can in some time and instances,

But for lasting and meaningful change people need to step through the door themselves.

You can be a good friend/lover/care-giver.... but you can't save her fully.

She has to do this for herself for it to last and to mean something.

Quote:

advice on possibly easing this shit as much as possible

'Ease what for who?' was my thought when I read this. Explain more if you can/will, please?

Roach · 01-14-2012, 09:56 AM

Quote:

she has done it since we have met as well.

cutting can become an addiction.

just like using H, or anything else for that matter.

Quote:

so far all three of my girlfriends have cut themselves to relieve emotional pain or w/e

Quote:

also justsayin every person im even semi close to has ended up doing heroin.

I'm no expert, but the phrase "misery loves company" comes to mind.
You share the pain along with the love. Cast that off .

As far as your girl goes, the best course of action would be to encourage her to let the experts do their work...
unfortunately a wide and varied number of things can make a person self mutilate, and it takes time to work out a proper solution....even for the pros.

**Mafoo** · 01-14-2012, 10:29 AM

im just gonna say, that youre not going to have a healthy relationship with a person who does not love themself.

my_scatterheart · 01-14-2012, 10:36 AM

You can't fix her. For both of your sakes, don't fool yourself into thinking you can.

Terry · 01-14-2012, 10:43 AM

Electroshock therapy is still used?

Suliman · 01-14-2012, 10:47 AM

Maybe you're attracted to emotionally damaged goods; chicks more prone to hurt themselves and do H.

**Mafoo** · 01-14-2012, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by my_scatterheart

You can't fix her. For both of your sakes, don't fool yourself into thinking you can.

you cant fix her and if you try, youll end up caring too much and getting hurt yourself. speaking from experience

**SageTree** · 01-14-2012, 12:52 PM

I agree with Scatter and Mafoo.

Like I said, you can be there while she does the work, but SHE has to and has to want to do work.

tedkennedy · 01-14-2012, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by my_scatterheart

You can't fix her. For both of your sakes, don't fool yourself into thinking you can.

this. i was suicidal and a drug addict at various stages of my life so i can understand what its like, i think its a phase some people need to go through. be there for support but dont let someone elses problems be detrimental to your life, because some people dont want to be helped.

fenderbender · 01-14-2012, 08:50 PM

im not all like "IT IS MY MISSION TO SAVE THIS GIRL" or anything gais justsayin

i just really really care for her and want a future with her somehow.

Shes not a drug addict, nor am i... that was just a side-point i thought was weird.

the cutting thing is a problem tho however, and yes sage it has all happened before meeting me mainly, but a couple times since meeting me.

feeling like you truly match up with someone, yet knowing it will be a difficult as fuck process to deal with in the future is fucking frustrating as hell.
eh life is never easy tho

and mafoo, im already attached and shit and it WILL drain me im sure.... but idk, i dont really care about that right now. i know ill be able to handle it (prob). Im not worried about myself here really.

i know there really isnt much advice you guys can give, i just felt like sharing i suppose.

ima just keep giving this girl mad love and probably get my heart broken in the process.
LIKE A BAWS

Mescalito · 01-14-2012, 08:54 PM

One of my ex's did that shit and I told her that if she ever did it again I would cut her myself. Probably not the best of advice.. but it worked.

Shit's weird man. I enjoy picking off scabs.. but its not quite in the same boat is it.

It's selfish behavior really.. If she really cared about how others felt she wouldn't do it. Actually maybe that's a little harsh.. but there is some truth to it.

What about start cutting yourself.. and make sure she finds out about it.. then maybe she will think twice about doing it to herself.

In fact.. don't listen to me.. ima leave now..

M

Lloydy · 01-15-2012, 02:03 AM

Its stupid attention seeking behavior.

**Mafoo** · 01-15-2012, 10:52 AM

fender you are a massochist if you intentionally put yourself in situations that will end in pain

Qui-Bong Jinn · 01-15-2012, 11:27 AM

I'd be the asshole that leaves her, I have no tolerance for cutters after the shit I've been through.

Dr. Nick Nasty · 01-15-2012, 04:07 PM

Quote:

im just gonna say, that youre not going to have a healthy relationship with a person who does not love themself.

this. actually you will also never attract the people you want to if you don't love yourself.

Sir-Ex · 01-15-2012, 04:49 PM

Thoughtfully and considerately removing my original post is becoming one of my life's greatest regrets.

edit: nah I'm good now.

farmergiles · 01-15-2012, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mafoo

im just gonna say, that youre unlikely to have a healthy relationship with a person who does not love themself.

*fixed*

The Rev · 01-15-2012, 08:27 PM

Make sure you have a way to stay centered in this. Don't allow yourself to get pulled into another person's misery.

The Rev

01-14-2012, 08:33 AM	#2 (permalink)
Sir-Ex Learner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Edmonton, Alberta Posts: 11,416 Thanks: 1,726 Thanked 3,820 Times in 2,258 Posts	God damn it I thought this was FFA. edit: I actually have no advice for a person like that. Personally I couldn't spend my time around them, got no time for people who can't handle their shit. __________________ Smile Ditch the cigs!!!!!! Last edited by Sir-Ex; 01-14-2012 at 08:38 AM.

01-14-2012, 10:29 AM	#5 (permalink)
Mafoo nice daze Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: the anguish of anticipated transformation Posts: 5,975 Thanks: 3,776 Thanked 2,652 Times in 1,698 Posts	im just gonna say, that youre not going to have a healthy relationship with a person who does not love themself. __________________ PLUR For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

01-14-2012, 10:36 AM	#6 (permalink)
my_scatterheart Today, I am alive. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ Posts: 3,565 Thanks: 1,486 Thanked 3,328 Times in 1,870 Posts	You can't fix her. For both of your sakes, don't fool yourself into thinking you can. __________________ Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

01-14-2012, 10:43 AM	#7 (permalink)
Terry Militant Pacifist Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Moscow, Idaho Posts: 8,535 Thanks: 2,128 Thanked 2,392 Times in 1,189 Posts	Electroshock therapy is still used? __________________ There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. -Sylvia Plath

01-14-2012, 12:52 PM	#10 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,768 Times in 4,664 Posts	I agree with Scatter and Mafoo. Like I said, you can be there while she does the work, but SHE has to and has to want to do work. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

01-14-2012, 10:47 AM	#8 (permalink)
Suliman ҰÅĦǾΏҜλИ Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Hawaii Posts: 553 Thanks: 501 Thanked 124 Times in 94 Posts	Maybe you're attracted to emotionally damaged goods; chicks more prone to hurt themselves and do H.

01-14-2012, 08:54 PM	#13 (permalink)
Mescalito Oneironaut Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 6,295 Thanks: 868 Thanked 909 Times in 446 Posts	One of my ex's did that shit and I told her that if she ever did it again I would cut her myself. Probably not the best of advice.. but it worked. Shit's weird man. I enjoy picking off scabs.. but its not quite in the same boat is it. It's selfish behavior really.. If she really cared about how others felt she wouldn't do it. Actually maybe that's a little harsh.. but there is some truth to it. What about start cutting yourself.. and make sure she finds out about it.. then maybe she will think twice about doing it to herself. In fact.. don't listen to me.. ima leave now.. M

01-15-2012, 02:03 AM	#14 (permalink)
Lloydy KTF Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: England Posts: 11,976 Thanks: 533 Thanked 2,478 Times in 1,139 Posts	Its stupid attention seeking behavior. __________________ Keep the red flag flying high

01-15-2012, 10:52 AM	#15 (permalink)
Mafoo nice daze Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: the anguish of anticipated transformation Posts: 5,975 Thanks: 3,776 Thanked 2,652 Times in 1,698 Posts	fender you are a massochist if you intentionally put yourself in situations that will end in pain __________________ PLUR For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

01-15-2012, 11:27 AM	#16 (permalink)
Qui-Bong Jinn Jedi High Council Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Kingston, Ontario Posts: 2,135 Thanks: 911 Thanked 501 Times in 372 Posts	I'd be the asshole that leaves her, I have no tolerance for cutters after the shit I've been through.

01-15-2012, 04:49 PM	#18 (permalink)
Sir-Ex Learner Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Edmonton, Alberta Posts: 11,416 Thanks: 1,726 Thanked 3,820 Times in 2,258 Posts	Thoughtfully and considerately removing my original post is becoming one of my life's greatest regrets. edit: nah I'm good now. __________________ Smile Ditch the cigs!!!!!! Last edited by Sir-Ex; 01-15-2012 at 05:10 PM.

01-15-2012, 08:27 PM	#20 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,865 Thanks: 5,018 Thanked 5,420 Times in 2,865 Posts	Make sure you have a way to stay centered in this. Don't allow yourself to get pulled into another person's misery. The Rev __________________ Budforce - My Friend August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012

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