YaHooka Forums  

Go Back   YaHooka Forums > Helpful Buds > Guidance And Support
Home Register FAQ Social Groups Links Mark Forums Read

Guidance And Support Questions and issues of a serious nature including health, medicinal cannabis use, personal issues, relationship issues, communication problems, parenting, cross-generational issues, problems with parents, giving up and overcoming obstacles.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-29-2012, 12:13 PM   #1 (permalink)
now gluten free
 
toastyroach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: freddies hood
Posts: 5,120
Thanks: 782
Thanked 1,000 Times in 563 Posts
My goodbye letter to drugs

[I wrote this the other day and wanted to transcribe it somewhere... this isn't here because I'm trying to preach or anything, it's here cause I wanted to share it with you guys... btw I *did* write this off the top of my head, in 10 minutes or so before after starting just knowing I needed to write a goodbye letter, heart to pen without any corrections so please save your crtisism ]

Dear Drugs,

Weed, you were my first and took my v-card. Stunted my growth, spritually, like un-filtered cigars.

Halucinagens say bye your not my real friends, made me think this drug shit went deeper but it doesnt, wish I knew it was just pretend. And tell your boy dissassociatives they're no longer my associates; no offence

Uppers especially cocain, stay out of my veins for you I got nothin but complaints. Called the cops on myself when I was buggin, crawled the floor cause of your cousin... tell her I can't smoke no more - you mighta thought it was fun but it wasn't. I'll keep this real brief cause you don't deserve my fuckin time - you made me put my family in a pipe and smoke it, like they was the cheapest dimes... Made me do the craziest shit for just one more, you stupid whore, I'm not fucking with you - cooked or raw.

And as far as you? Opiates? You stole my fuckin soul from me, no bullshit. Thought I could trust you, you told me that you loved me... you grabbed me by my throat, took my life-force choked the hope from it. You played me, telling me that you had for me a new friend, her name? Heroin... mixed her up, for just 5 bucks I could poke myself till I'd throw up... but that didn't last long, pretty soon you'd misbehave, now I'd wake up and I'm your slave? Can't even fucking sleep or eat, till I satisfy my crave? wake up in a cage? wake up to a guage? and that's if I'm lucky, and it's not waking up at all - a suit and a grave...

But thats enough for you, I'm done... Saying good bye, shit aint fun, its old and im tired, cold and I just want to grow old... Cause I'm better then you, all you drugs... Time to grow spiritually, N/A doesn't shake hands we give hugs, give love, I'm happy waking up without drawing my own blood...

PS- tell your cousin Xanax, she's banished... Klonopin you won't see me again, benzos and whoever else I forgot or didn't try??

Bye Bye
__________________
Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal
toastyroach is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to toastyroach For This Useful Post:
adventure (03-30-2012), catastrophe (03-29-2012), ChiefBongWater (03-29-2012), clive (03-29-2012), fenderbender (03-29-2012), Geeno (03-29-2012), Jester4yall (03-29-2012), Mafoo (03-29-2012), Mescalito (04-19-2012), Mikey (03-30-2012), moketweed (03-29-2012), Ncc (03-29-2012), Oldntired (08-18-2012), Peace seeker (03-30-2012), reverie (03-30-2012), Sage Tree (03-30-2012), Sir-Ex (03-29-2012), The Rev (07-26-2012), turmaline (03-30-2012)
Old 03-29-2012, 12:45 PM   #2 (permalink)
Decent Yahookan
 
moketweed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Almost Canada
Posts: 1,437
Thanks: 2,359
Thanked 970 Times in 607 Posts
Toasty your letter reminds me of a little thing I wrote years ago....

Heroin, going up my nose
No longer how the story goes
I had cocaine cracking up my brain
Hated myself from head to toe
Marijuana flowing through my veins......

Somethings will never change...

Anyways congrats on doing what is best for yourself!
__________________
"No one who, like me, conjures up the most evil of those half-tamed demons that inhabit the human breast, and seeks to wrestle with them, can expect to come through the struggle unscathed."

-Sigmund Freud-
moketweed is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to moketweed For This Useful Post:
adventure (03-30-2012), Jester4yall (03-29-2012), toastyroach (03-29-2012)
Old 03-29-2012, 06:37 PM   #3 (permalink)
now gluten free
 
toastyroach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: freddies hood
Posts: 5,120
Thanks: 782
Thanked 1,000 Times in 563 Posts
Thanks yalll!!! I just got out of rehab this morning and wrote that on one of the last days... My last run put me thru the wringer.... Foreclosure and bankruptcy, lost my family, homeless, February i spent my birthday and superbowl sunday in jail shitting myself raw kicking stuck in a bullpen for 5 days with 20 diff bloods covering the benches and floors... Bailed out finally and got arrested again the next day.... Saw the light finally (red, blue.. Flashing)... It feels great to be alive guys, got a 30 day key ring for the first time in my life an hour ago!!!! Embrace this life yall shit is too short hug your dad today if youre lucky enough to have one
__________________
Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal
toastyroach is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to toastyroach For This Useful Post:
adventure (03-30-2012), fenderbender (03-30-2012), Mikey (03-30-2012), moketweed (03-29-2012), my_scatterheart (03-30-2012), Oldntired (08-18-2012), Peace seeker (03-30-2012), Puffman (03-29-2012), Sage Tree (03-30-2012), SoK (03-29-2012), The Rev (07-26-2012)
Old 03-29-2012, 09:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
Decent Yahookan
 
moketweed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Almost Canada
Posts: 1,437
Thanks: 2,359
Thanked 970 Times in 607 Posts
Toasty congrats, its unfortunate the bullshit we put ourselves and our families through, before we ever realize how out of hand our lives have gotten. I glad to see your in control now, 30 days sober is huge I wish you all the best, and I hope you can keep coming back here, you're an inspiration, share your knowledge. Having someone who's been there around could be helpful to others that are spiraling out of control. NA is a very positive step, stay with the program. I'm working the steps myself, we are worth it, good advice to appreciate our loved ones today, sometimes we dont get tomorrow...
much love and respect, your friend,

Moke
__________________
"No one who, like me, conjures up the most evil of those half-tamed demons that inhabit the human breast, and seeks to wrestle with them, can expect to come through the struggle unscathed."

-Sigmund Freud-
moketweed is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to moketweed For This Useful Post:
adventure (03-30-2012)
Old 03-29-2012, 09:45 PM   #5 (permalink)
now gluten free
 
toastyroach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: freddies hood
Posts: 5,120
Thanks: 782
Thanked 1,000 Times in 563 Posts
Thanks brother... Did you go by a diff name in past ? Z forgive me
I've fried my brain with pot for the last 16 years
__________________
Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal
toastyroach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2012, 09:52 PM   #6 (permalink)
now gluten free
 
toastyroach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: freddies hood
Posts: 5,120
Thanks: 782
Thanked 1,000 Times in 563 Posts
Btw I'd love to stay here but this place unfortunately is a bit of a weed trigger sometimes lol
__________________
Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal
toastyroach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2012, 10:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
Eats laughs
 
FoTwenny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Middle Earth/Narnia
Posts: 3,730
Thanks: 1
Thanked 906 Times in 371 Posts
Sorry to hear about your troubles Toasty, this next bowl is dedicated to you.
__________________
I have always thought in the back of my mind, cheese and onions.
FoTwenny is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to FoTwenny For This Useful Post:
fenderbender (03-30-2012), SmokeaJoint (03-30-2012)
Old 03-29-2012, 10:10 PM   #8 (permalink)
now gluten free
 
toastyroach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: freddies hood
Posts: 5,120
Thanks: 782
Thanked 1,000 Times in 563 Posts
Lol thanks dickhead
__________________
Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal
toastyroach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2012, 10:10 PM   #9 (permalink)
a lot of grease
 
ChiefBongWater's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Appalachia
Posts: 1,491
Thanks: 163
Thanked 429 Times in 286 Posts
Glad that you got outta jail man, & it looks like your minds in the right place right now.

Just know... If you start that shit up again this whole letter you wrote and all of this will turn to shit. & I dont think you want that. Good luck man.
__________________
Straight No Chaser
Bridges, Boobs, Beer
ChiefBongWater is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ChiefBongWater For This Useful Post:
adventure (03-30-2012), Jester4yall (03-30-2012), toastyroach (03-30-2012)
Old 03-30-2012, 06:36 AM   #10 (permalink)
Seasoned YaHookan
 
Mikey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: gulf islands bc
Posts: 11,106
Thanks: 1,895
Thanked 4,759 Times in 2,652 Posts
30 days is huge, congrats.

Sucks that we do the shit that we do when we're high, but hey that's over for you know, time to turn the page.

I hope everything works out for you.
__________________
RIP Gov
RIP Budforce

Mikey is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Mikey For This Useful Post:
toastyroach (03-30-2012)
Old 03-30-2012, 08:03 AM   #11 (permalink)
iиtuēяi
 
catastrophe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Minnesotaaa
Posts: 2,306
Thanks: 2,156
Thanked 778 Times in 374 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by toastyroach View Post
Embrace this life yall shit is too short hug your dad today if youre lucky enough to have one
If I could, I would. Glad you're doin good on a better path, toastyroach
__________________
Li Is a Dram,
From Which W First Must Wak
Bor W May Dram Again

RIP Gov

"There are two things I wanted to do. I wanted to show the things that had to be corrected.
I wanted to show the things that had to be appreciated."
catastrophe is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to catastrophe For This Useful Post:
toastyroach (03-30-2012)
Old 03-30-2012, 08:06 AM   #12 (permalink)
Spiritual Friend
 
Sage Tree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Posts: 32,089
Blog Entries: 26
Thanks: 18,611
Thanked 12,647 Times in 8,017 Posts
Welcome back Toasty... it's always good to see a real Friend.

Thanks for sharing your insights with us, and hope our differences won't stand in the way of getting to know each other again.

Congrats and many blessings on your journey.
__________________

Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmi
Sage Tree is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sage Tree For This Useful Post:
toastyroach (03-30-2012)
Old 03-30-2012, 09:19 AM   #13 (permalink)
now gluten free
 
toastyroach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: freddies hood
Posts: 5,120
Thanks: 782
Thanked 1,000 Times in 563 Posts
Sage differences?? I think we are more the same then ever my brother... Youre definitly connected to the source keep being the "shining" example that you are.... Lol gettid? Lol
__________________
Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal
toastyroach is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to toastyroach For This Useful Post:
Sage Tree (04-02-2012)
Old 03-30-2012, 09:37 AM   #14 (permalink)
Derp?
 
fenderbender's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: new jersey
Posts: 9,953
Thanks: 15,483
Thanked 4,889 Times in 2,875 Posts
you in jersey still mang?
__________________
Imagine &

Be wild and crazy and drunk with Love, if you are too careful, Love will not find you.


<3
fenderbender is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-30-2012, 10:59 AM   #15 (permalink)
now gluten free
 
toastyroach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: freddies hood
Posts: 5,120
Thanks: 782
Thanked 1,000 Times in 563 Posts
represent represent
__________________
Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal
toastyroach is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to toastyroach For This Useful Post:
my_scatterheart (03-30-2012)
Old 03-30-2012, 11:46 AM   #16 (permalink)
free the herb
 
Peace seeker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 7,337
Thanks: 817
Thanked 589 Times in 398 Posts
Toasty, this is the best letter i ve read on yahooka for a few years now.
Congratulations man. The first 30 days are prolly the most difficult ones.


i wish you not to touch any of that shit ever again man. And my wish comes from the heart. Its a real one, so its gonna follow you around and give u strength when u need it.

go out on a springy field with flowers. Sit down, relax, take some breaths. Look around you. You are on the path of becoming free again. Dont loose focus.
Create the life you want to live.
Peace seeker is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Peace seeker For This Useful Post:
catastrophe (03-30-2012), Jester4yall (03-30-2012), moketweed (03-30-2012), toastyroach (03-30-2012)
Old 03-30-2012, 12:05 PM   #17 (permalink)
Adventure its good
 
adventure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 7,071
Thanks: 2,823
Thanked 2,562 Times in 1,760 Posts
Congratulations! I trying to kick a few things myself, and it really helps seeing positive examples! Keep it up!
__________________
Coming Full Range
adventure is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to adventure For This Useful Post:
toastyroach (03-30-2012)
Old 03-30-2012, 06:06 PM   #18 (permalink)
now gluten free
 
toastyroach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: freddies hood
Posts: 5,120
Thanks: 782
Thanked 1,000 Times in 563 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peace seeker View Post
Toasty, this is the best letter i ve read on yahooka for a few years now.
Congratulations man. The first 30 days are prolly the most difficult ones.


i wish you not to touch any of that shit ever again man. And my wish comes from the heart. Its a real one, so its gonna follow you around and give u strength when u need it.

go out on a springy field with flowers. Sit down, relax, take some breaths. Look around you. You are on the path of becoming free again. Dont loose focus.
Create the life you want to live.
Good to see you dude... I will do that when it warms up over here ....

Right now I'm riding a nice wave... I get excited just getting in the car & starting it knowing that I didn't have to steal the fucking thing hehehe
__________________
Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal
toastyroach is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to toastyroach For This Useful Post:
Peace seeker (03-30-2012)
Old 03-30-2012, 06:40 PM   #19 (permalink)
KONERS!
 
turmaline's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: CANADA
Posts: 5,833
Thanks: 2,704
Thanked 5,064 Times in 2,530 Posts
Toasty..I'm on your train man...a change of life style is the way....take a long drive and sit in the counrty..sit and watch...and of course chew your tongue off and more. we are here for you. we are going through it too. I love you guys for how you help yourselves.
__________________
BONERZ!


I browse at work. If some nerd had a problem with dicks I'd stare him in the eyes then magnify the picture in question without saying a word.


Terry
turmaline is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to turmaline For This Useful Post:
moketweed (03-31-2012), my_scatterheart (03-30-2012)
Old 03-31-2012, 06:28 AM   #20 (permalink)
now gluten free
 
toastyroach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: freddies hood
Posts: 5,120
Thanks: 782
Thanked 1,000 Times in 563 Posts
thank you... but the truth is I didn't do shit by myself... "willpower" made me think that after getting arrested a day after getting out of jail, I could still cut back on shooting dope by smoking more crack rofl...

I can only thank the police for arresting me (3 times within a month)..

The state of New York & their awesome democratic government, for allowing my free stay in a nice hospital to detox & rehab w amazing staff..

The overwhealming power that pure desperation gives you... nothing like experiencing the ultimate misery to make you appreciate life ... and most importantly allowed me to find my higher power...

The truth is I know I'm 100% powerless over this shit, and if I stay by myself for very long, I'll get all types of great ideas to put me in a grave... quick
__________________
Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal

Last edited by toastyroach; 03-31-2012 at 06:34 AM.
toastyroach is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to toastyroach For This Useful Post:
moketweed (03-31-2012)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:49 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
Inactive Reminders By Icora Web Design