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Old 05-11-2014, 08:53 AM   #81 (permalink)
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Thanks "turbo f**k " for your insightful input. I am 26 and I HAVE heard of protection. I rarely ever use it because I can't get it up with a condom. Kills my erection.
Yes infidelity is bad, I am not proud and very shamed of myself. millions of people do it everyday and this thing I am living through happens daily. But tell me this, how many women try to trap good guys into raising someone else's kid?? You know the answer to that. So please I don't need any judgement.
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Old 05-11-2014, 09:42 AM   #82 (permalink)
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all you can do is wait for the birth and the paternity test and if it's yours then you will have to work out what to do.
I think that you probably should tell your wife / gf and face the consequences rather than live a lie and be under constant ear of being found out.
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Old 05-11-2014, 09:48 AM   #83 (permalink)
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Old 05-11-2014, 09:59 AM   #84 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KGB View Post
Thanks "turbo f**k " for your insightful input. I am 26 and I HAVE heard of protection. I rarely ever use it because I can't get it up with a condom. Kills my erection.
Yes infidelity is bad, I am not proud and very shamed of myself. millions of people do it everyday and this thing I am living through happens daily. But tell me this, how many women try to trap good guys into raising someone else's kid?? You know the answer to that. So please I don't need any judgement.
You won't be getting any erections if you're dead..
Aids can kill you, and other people if you are spreading it in knowingly?

Not judging you.
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Old 05-11-2014, 10:35 AM   #85 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KGB View Post
Thanks "turbo f**k " for your insightful input. I am 26 and I HAVE heard of protection. I rarely ever use it because I can't get it up with a condom. Kills my erection.
Yes infidelity is bad, I am not proud and very shamed of myself. millions of people do it everyday and this thing I am living through happens daily. But tell me this, how many women try to trap good guys into raising someone else's kid?? You know the answer to that. So please I don't need any judgement.
You should call this story in to Loveline. Call Dr. Drew @ 1-800-LOVE-191 (1-800-568-3191) and let us know when you're on the air.

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Old 05-11-2014, 10:42 AM   #86 (permalink)
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It's a pet peeve of mine when people do increasingly stupid shit, tell you about it, and then say "don't judge me"...As if me hearing about it is going to make me care enough to tell you that your actions were justified in some way...This folks is how we regress as a society, not holding people accountable by ridicule for their stupidity. I would rather a friend/person/random stranger tell me how much of an idiot I am being than a friend that helps me become an even bigger idiot.
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It has zero political or cultural value. It is reactionary in the worse sense: a gnarled wailing of a million broken losers joined in the comradery of hate and petty personal grievance.
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Old 05-11-2014, 10:50 AM   #87 (permalink)
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Thanks for the tip silverleaf I will keep you posted.
So the way I see it is this.
I slept with her on : April 4
Period started : March 17
Conception period : 2 weeks after period so lands on March 30 when her ovulation started.
Ultrasound : 7 weeks 1 day from her last period.
Fetus age : 5 weeks 1 day from the day the fetus was conceived.
If I subtract the fetus age from the day of ultra sound it falls on April 1st ( give or take one or two days because ultrasounds could be off by one or two days but this early on they are usually dead on accurate)
This is a mind fuck and want to know what you guys think about all this. Please no more judgement and life tips on how to protect myself in the future and how I should " man " up.
Thank you.
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Old 05-11-2014, 10:54 AM   #88 (permalink)
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Good point Greaves. Except that theoretically me calling you and idiot solves nothing and gets you nowhere. If you fucked up, I am sure you are allready aware that you are an idiot and don't need to be reminded of it. Second if you don't care enough then why read it and answer it? If you fucked up, you ask opinions of others on how to fix your problem and not ridiculed because you are human and made mistakes.
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Old 05-11-2014, 10:56 AM   #89 (permalink)
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So in essence you just want an echo chamber where we pat you on the back and tell you that everything will be alright, that bitches are crazy, and you did nothing wrong?

You have made excuses and avoided taking any good advice offered up til now and it seems like you only want to be told what you want to hear. When you tell someone that they are walking in quicksand and they continue to stick limbs in to get themselves out, eventually you just have to walk away. That is what has happened here, you had people empathising with you and continued to dig yourself deeper and now people have just said fuck it and walked away because you seem too dense to take any advice/guidance offered in lieu of taking the easy way out.
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tyrannical apathy
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free lunch felon
prosperity gospel
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It has zero political or cultural value. It is reactionary in the worse sense: a gnarled wailing of a million broken losers joined in the comradery of hate and petty personal grievance.
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Old 05-11-2014, 11:08 AM   #90 (permalink)
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The advice I received was get DNA test. And i guarantee you i will.
I don't need a pat on the back when I fucked up. I don't need to hear what I want to hear. The thing is I have to wait 9 months to find out the truth. Put yourself in this position. The whole thing is fishy from the start and now I am trying to figure out a probable chance if this kid is mine, if I need to put money aside, should I get a lawyer etc. it's a mind fuck, I can't sleep and eat but eat assured I don't need any sympathy for my actions.
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Old 05-11-2014, 11:25 AM   #91 (permalink)
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If you have access to a lawyer, why didn't you just talk to them first.

Take a second to step back and remove yourself from the situation and realize that it is only as big of a deal as you want to make it. If it is yours and you want custody/visitation then set the terms before the kid is born, if you don't want anything to do with it than set up a payment schedule. If the chick is lying and it isn't yours than don't do anything.

As for the non child side of it, you need to tell your girlfriend as soon as last week. Do not string this shit along for 9 months until the kid pops out and ends up being yours.
If she is a supportive girl than she may just be able to offer support, if not than you learned a valuable lesson about consequence of your actions. However it is not fair to her to only involve her when you "have" to. She deserves to know.
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It has zero political or cultural value. It is reactionary in the worse sense: a gnarled wailing of a million broken losers joined in the comradery of hate and petty personal grievance.

Last edited by Grieves; 05-11-2014 at 11:40 AM.
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Old 05-11-2014, 11:34 AM   #92 (permalink)
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If your lawyer sends an unsolicited letter to someone promising to give them money than you need to fire your lawyer and maybe put him on blast. That's gotta be borderline malpractice.
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Old 05-11-2014, 11:49 AM   #93 (permalink)
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Thanks, Xil that was a stupid/poorly worded statement, and I edited my post to reflect that.
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It has zero political or cultural value. It is reactionary in the worse sense: a gnarled wailing of a million broken losers joined in the comradery of hate and petty personal grievance.
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Old 05-11-2014, 02:27 PM   #94 (permalink)
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It's a pet peeve of mine when people do increasingly stupid shit, tell you about it, and then say "don't judge me"...As if me hearing about it is going to make me care enough to tell you that your actions were justified in some way...This folks is how we regress as a society, not holding people accountable by ridicule for their stupidity. I would rather a friend/person/random stranger tell me how much of an idiot I am being than a friend that helps me become an even bigger idiot.
Someone post a twilight zone gif for me. My connection speed is too slow to find one.
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Old 05-11-2014, 02:55 PM   #95 (permalink)
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Old 05-12-2014, 05:46 AM   #96 (permalink)
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You're a boy, not a man so you have no business making babies you aren't willing to raise and support. More single moms with kids on welfare, what a putz you are.

but, its ok cuz you cant get an erection with a condom. What a stupid fucking thing to say.
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Old 05-12-2014, 05:47 AM   #97 (permalink)
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You should probably get a vasectomy, at least you wont be bringing other humans into your fucked up life. Then you can just be a walking, breathing STD.
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Old 05-12-2014, 08:36 AM   #98 (permalink)
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If the math doesn't make sense to you then it's probably not your baby.

Math never lies. Or so I have been told? I'm terrible at numbers. They always lie to me.
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Old 05-12-2014, 11:07 AM   #99 (permalink)
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exact dating a conception is pretty damn hard. Usually the woman should ovulate around 2 weeks after they stop bleeding. The egg is fertile for about 3 days and sperm can easily survive for 2 days inside the woman so there is a lot of room for error. It is possible to be accurate to the week that it happened but then again not by 100%.
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Old 05-12-2014, 11:13 AM   #100 (permalink)
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It's your kid. Of course get the paternity test, but April 1st or April 4th. It's just too close.

Here in Kentucky, which is backwards poverty state, this is what you would expect:

$25 a week, minimum, for the next 18-19 years. This amount is what you would pay if you were unemployed. It goes up from there. They don't care if you lose your job or have another kid. This is kid #1 and this kid comes first. The only thing that stops you from paying is if you are in prison or someone else adopts them. This is a total of $23,400, which you have to pay whether you see the kid or not. If you make good money, you pay more.

You'll also have to pay for the medical expenses, including the birth, so you will have to carry insurance on the kid as well. Sometimes this is split between the 2 parents.

Now she could always put 'father unknown' on the birth certificate. This would get you totally off the hook, but you would have no rights either. I don't know how you would feel having your own kid calling someone else Daddy.

Keep it up and you will be repeating the whole thing a year from now. 2 years from now. And so on. When you finally meet Ms. Right, you'll have so many kids, and so many baby mamas, that you won't be able to afford to have one with your own true love. And no, you don't get a discount for multiple kids.

So, yeah...child support starts when the baby is born, whether the test results are back or not. If the baby is 6 months old when you find out it's yours, you owe 6 months of back child support. If you don't pay, you'll go to jail. Plain and simple. No more income tax refunds, for as long as it takes to pay off your debt. If you become disabled, they take part of your check.

So, I'm sorry if you don't want to hear it, but the next time you have unprotected sex, just ask yourself, "Is this fuck worth $23,400?"
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