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veda 09-13-2014 10:35 PM

im making a thread here just because i dont want it going off the rails like the usual ffa thread does, its just a vent i guess more than anything.

Things are going unexpectedly great for me in my life right now. I have all the things that "normal" people have, love my fambly and good place to live and all that, i now have an appt with a doctor to get my lazy eye fixed that i have wanted to get straightened for a looooong time.

I have this great job that i like. i work in a facility that cares for/helps/provides stability for abused and neglected children aged 5-12. so here's the thing: kids say some absolutely heartbreaking things, and i hear heartbreaking things about them, their situations, things i overhear when talking to a parent on the phone, things parents say when dropping kids off at the place, things other staff members say.
I signed an confidentiality agreement, but i wouldnt go into specifics anyway, its just... shit. theres some pretty fucked up shit going on out there. its easy to be all philosophical about it when its on the news or internets, but when its right there in front of you up close and personal, it can be rough to deal. thats all.

turmaline 09-13-2014 10:41 PM

I'd need a councelor for a job like that... Just sayin.

Good job.

Thank god for people like you.

veda 09-13-2014 10:41 PM

one more thing i was thinking was that when off the job, it must be better to just turn that off and dont think about it, but it still new so im having trouble doing that.
and its not like i havent seen some shit in my time. im goign to bed now

edit: yeah thanx turm, that actually helps

kitch 09-14-2014 01:21 AM

Social workers are saints. Signing up to have your heart crushed every day for the least money of any professional career must be a tough decision. I wonder how any of y'all stay sane

Sage Tree 09-14-2014 04:38 AM

Glad you enjoy your work Veda.

I know the feel of 'not handling it well' but realised that is part of the journey,
and part of what makes me a great helper.

You open your heart and let their life mingle with yours, not a cold application of helping.
Your connecting with empahty, and believe it or not, not every helper does that.
That pain is a gift in disguise, but make sure to have a healthy relationship with it.

My suggestion is make sure to do something to help you process it,
outside of letting it sit or thinking about it... Its OK to remember them when you aren't there.

Hot yoga, some counseling, running and journalling were some keys for me.
Its a cue to dive deep into your spiritual purpose, as a helper.
Even Jesus and Buddha needed some alone time to practice.

And its OK to share stories here.
Just don't mention things that are names or stories that might be in headlines.
Things that are indicative of who they are, and you'll be fine with you agreement.

Ypou need to share sorrow AND joy... Some stories need told.

Reach out to me in a PM as well.
I had a definite peak of 'not handling it right' before I got it together,
And maybe I can be of use to you,
Especially since I think we have a common core of reasoning for extending our Self,
to those who need us too carry their load for a while and to walk with them.

The first rule in being a first responder is making sure you aren't injuring yourself in the aid.
Sure you'll feel the cold water and hot flames, but keep your head,
or you'll be of little use to them or yourself.

Bless your heart and the lives it will touch and change.
We can't save the world, but we where as shit can make the difference one day at a time,
And if we can... A little more. This is present moment awareness at its fullest.

The Rev 09-27-2014 06:51 PM

I think you just have to accept that you can't fix it all, maybe you can't fix any of it, but at least you're trying your best to make things right for these people, and that's what this world needs.

My Ch'an teacher once told a story about a hurricane that washed a shit ton of crabs up on the beach. This old guy goes out and starts throwing them back in the water, but a younger guy asks him, "Why do you bother? You can't throw them all back? What difference can you make?" and the old guy says, "It makes a difference for this one" as he throws it back into the sea.

That's the fucked up thing in life. You can't make the world better. You can just help one or two people here or there. And the weight of shit you have to carry to do that is immense.


The Rev

Mercury 09-27-2014 07:23 PM

Don't worry about children, adults, dogs, trees or anything else. You can only control what you do with yourself. Lead by example.

CheeseburgerEd 09-28-2014 04:49 AM

I used to read a blog about someone who worked in the same kind of place. It was fascinating but also indeed heartbreaking at times. Im not sure how anyone can be around that all day and still function.

Geeno 09-28-2014 05:07 AM

Taken from r/bestofnetflix

Short Term 12 (2013) "Grace, a compassionate young supervisor at a foster care facility, works with her boyfriend and colleague, Mason, to help at-risk teens. But when a new charge dredges up memories of her own troubled past, Grace's tough exterior begins eroding." Amazing movie guys, check it out!

idk if thats relevant but sounds like a cool movie

veda 01-07-2018 11:42 AM


I got the surgery to straighten out my crooked eye and everything went well, I dont even think about it anymore. I recently quit that job. I started myfitnesspal and lost 20 lbs and it makes a big difference (10 more to go). been really busy tho, this is a rare occasion that i can even read or post on here. I was sorry to hear about Zoltron passing, not to mention all the other yahookans that are gone.
Anyway, i dont know what else to say, i just wanted to post something.

Captain Cannabis 01-07-2018 01:30 PM

i was wondering what you were up too. glad to see you stop by :)

Roach 01-18-2018 07:28 AM

I agree with ya veda. And feel for you. Reminds me of the serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can, and know the difference between the two.

turmaline 01-18-2018 08:23 PM

Glad to see you post too.
Glad to hear from you!

Roach 01-19-2018 12:19 PM

Winter quarters carnival de Powers & Thomas Midway Entertainment for the last three years and trolling my favorite site. @ 66 can still deadlift half ton. Yes I smoke a gram of loud a day.

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