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Old 10-05-2014, 06:44 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Resentments.

They say holding onto resentments is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will get sick.

I believe this to be true.. But how do you deal with a resentment when it keeps rearing its ugly face and you know it will always be in your life?
This being a person.
A person who tries to engage you.. Who tries to intimidate.
Who is poison.
Toxic. Who not only effects you but the ones who are closest to you.

They say pray... Pray for this person because they are sick.

I don't engage in arguments with this person anymore.. I speak as little as possible..

But I'm fucking pissed and angry and Mad!
What part do I have in this?

It's not in my hands anymore it's in something else's hands..
I don't understand why someone would want to hurt their children in order to hurt their ex wife.

Because they are sick.
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Old 10-05-2014, 06:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Some people are just completely fucked
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Old 10-05-2014, 07:05 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Psilocybin has taught me that often people who are the hardest, meanest and most vicious personalities are often the weakest and saddest. They are typically just not likeable people. Its sad for them really because even if you are nice to them there are still a million more people out there who couldn't care less if they live or die. Its really up to them to change themselves. They have to make themselves more likeable otherwise they'll keep being treated like shit and they'll assume that's the way they ought to treat others.
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Old 10-05-2014, 07:06 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 10-05-2014, 07:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Also its pretty lame when people rag on resentment. People love to come up with all this shit about emotions.

Grinds my gears when people try to dictate how others should feel about things. Youre best off just letting it happen, recognizing it, and dealing with it however suits you best.
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Old 10-05-2014, 07:14 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Yes, it's normal to feel resentful.

Just don't wanna let it eat you up.
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Old 10-05-2014, 07:51 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I definitely think its important to honour one's emotions. I think that resentment is a form of anger/ fear, and that it's a reasonable response if someone is treating you poorly.

If it's long after the fact, however, that's a different story. If you keep reliving and rehashing past hurts it more than likely will only hurt your present state o mind. There's some part that may seem as though you are protecting yourself from future hurt, which is why is can seem reasonable. "Forgive, but don't forget," the phrase comes to mind. Forgiveness will set you free, but it doesn't mean you don't have to take the lessons you've learned from the hurt.

If someone is continuing to hurt you than protection and boundaries are definitely important. Can you limit your interactions with this person? (Maybe not if they are the parent of your children) but is there anything else you can do to prepare yourself for the emotional upset of dealing with them? Have a grounding routine in place? Never underestimate tangible rituals.

All the best, Turm. Much love.
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:01 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Consider that whatever there is around you or engaging you, it can never truly disturb your self (your consciousness, your mind) -- it can only elicit reactions from you. Lapses in reasoning because of anger are far more forgivable than lapses in reasoning because of a personal character flaw, such as succumbing to vice. It's our judgment of things, ideas, situations, that give them their power. We are equipped to deal with the material and the immaterial, externals and internals alike with each our own selves, the gods seated within us.

I am resentful if I judge I ought to be resentful. What else shall I be in response to what I perceive to be this cause of my judgment? If nothing else, this is a way to maybe "see" that thing that you are considering in fuller totality.
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Old 10-06-2014, 03:00 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I found that time and distance worked for me. The longer I was away from the ex, the easier it was to have a life without those thoughts. His presence reminds me of what he did, what I tolerated. I don't care if he has a relationship with his kids. That's totally on him. He owes me so much in back child support. I'll never get it. After a while I just didn't think about him anymore. It's so much easier to feel pity for him when he's not in my face. I just kept reminding myself there was no reason to have to be in contact with him.

I'll admit though, that I do have a certain amount of satisfaction to know he's a homeless bum and no matter how hard he tried, he didn't break me. I'm still here.
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Old 10-06-2014, 03:33 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
I'll admit though, that I do have a certain amount of satisfaction to know he's a homeless bum and no matter how hard he tried, he didn't break me. I'm still here.
although i think the x is not homeless....i wish he was....he goes into the store where my child works and deliberately makes sure she acknowledges him and would complain in 2 shakes of a dead lambs tail if she dint. smile


me.....if the universe makes me cross his path....watch the fuck out buddy!!!!
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