YaHooka Forums  

Go Back   YaHooka Forums > Helpful Buds > Guidance And Support
Home FAQ Social Groups Links Mark Forums Read

Guidance And Support Questions and issues of a serious nature including health, medicinal cannabis use, personal issues, relationship issues, communication problems, parenting, cross-generational issues, problems with parents, giving up and overcoming obstacles.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-03-2015, 03:49 PM   #21 (permalink)
Voice of Reason
 
Kompressor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Illinois
Posts: 12,133
Thanks: 0
Thanked 6,438 Times in 3,188 Posts
Well if she is under the age of consent you could probably get one of those rape kits to determine if they had sex, but that'll probably open up a new can of worms between you and her.
__________________
Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. -H. Bergson
Kompressor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2015, 04:09 PM   #22 (permalink)
tragically misinformed
 
kitch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Bay State
Posts: 10,454
Thanks: 776
Thanked 3,071 Times in 1,743 Posts
ok so it's settled, shadow what you have to do is plant guns and hard drugs on him.
__________________
resurrection comes
not from iron nails and battered bodies,
but from the pungent warmth
of rich soil and rotting leaves
where dry seeds sprout
and grow toward the sun.

kitch is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to kitch For This Useful Post:
fenderbender (04-03-2015), Shadow619 (04-03-2015), toastyroach (04-04-2015)
Old 04-03-2015, 04:14 PM   #23 (permalink)
Keezheekoni
 
Geeno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Scam City
Posts: 30,718
Thanks: 4,802
Thanked 10,316 Times in 4,893 Posts
PO's dont need a lot to grief their bitches.

And normally I'd be against this sort of thing but I actually trust your judgment here. Sometimes its better to take action to unknown consequence then to sit idly and let the inevitable unfold.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercury View Post
i've struck the absolute perfect balance between gay and smart

☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ we JACKED, you mad?☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★
Geeno is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Geeno For This Useful Post:
Grieves (04-03-2015), Shadow619 (04-04-2015), The Rev (04-03-2015), The SARS Volta (04-03-2015)
Old 04-03-2015, 04:45 PM   #24 (permalink)
Khaleesi
 
Shadow619's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: California
Posts: 1,619
Thanks: 992
Thanked 1,345 Times in 666 Posts
Yeah, it's not like I am a stranger to drugs, addicts and criminals. But this guy takes it to a whole other level.

Ill look to see if I can find out about his PO. It may be the only solution.
__________________
"Define yourself by what you love.... Be pro-stuff, not just anti-stuff." - Tim Minchin
Shadow619 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2015, 04:46 PM   #25 (permalink)
Khaleesi
 
Shadow619's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: California
Posts: 1,619
Thanks: 992
Thanked 1,345 Times in 666 Posts
By the way, I like the way you worded this. I think I will Siggy it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geeno View Post
Sometimes its better to take action to unknown consequence then to sit idly and let the inevitable unfold.
__________________
"Define yourself by what you love.... Be pro-stuff, not just anti-stuff." - Tim Minchin
Shadow619 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2015, 04:52 PM   #26 (permalink)
bougeman
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 10,618
Thanks: 5,519
Thanked 6,662 Times in 3,741 Posts
The age of consent is under 17 in California?
stoneric is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2015, 04:55 PM   #27 (permalink)
Khaleesi
 
Shadow619's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: California
Posts: 1,619
Thanks: 992
Thanked 1,345 Times in 666 Posts
Age of consent is 18. At least as far as I know.
__________________
"Define yourself by what you love.... Be pro-stuff, not just anti-stuff." - Tim Minchin
Shadow619 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2015, 05:15 PM   #28 (permalink)
Keezheekoni
 
Geeno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Scam City
Posts: 30,718
Thanks: 4,802
Thanked 10,316 Times in 4,893 Posts
Yeah 18 in cali

16 here so if she wants to check out the east coast i'll be glad to show her around
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercury View Post
i've struck the absolute perfect balance between gay and smart

☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ we JACKED, you mad?☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★
Geeno is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Geeno For This Useful Post:
fenderbender (04-03-2015)
Old 04-03-2015, 05:16 PM   #29 (permalink)
Life is Subtext
 
The Rev's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Samsara
Posts: 25,279
Thanks: 14,960
Thanked 11,483 Times in 5,556 Posts
You might just ask her what she's thinking in doing this. Don't tell her anything, just ask her about it. Teens appreciate being honestly listened to, and asking her questions will get her thinking.

That and calling the Parole Officer thing Geeno suggested. That's a damn fine idea, that is.



The Rev
__________________


Budforce - My Friend
August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012


The Rev is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to The Rev For This Useful Post:
Canuck Wisdom (04-03-2015), fenderbender (04-03-2015), Shadow619 (04-04-2015)
Old 04-03-2015, 05:45 PM   #30 (permalink)
bougeman
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 10,618
Thanks: 5,519
Thanked 6,662 Times in 3,741 Posts
Maybe give the 34 yr old felon a heads up that you're going to the PO and he'll go away. And then tackle the real question of why your cousin is attracted to shit like that.
stoneric is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to stoneric For This Useful Post:
Geeno (04-03-2015), Shadow619 (04-04-2015), Xil (04-05-2015)
Old 04-03-2015, 05:55 PM   #31 (permalink)
Derp?
 
fenderbender's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: new jersey
Posts: 12,088
Thanks: 22,240
Thanked 6,863 Times in 3,937 Posts
Contacting the PO is a good idea. You dont need proof of sex, or even for him to get locked up shadow. Just getting the PO is to put the fear of time back in him very well will likely be enough to get him to call it quits with the girl. Not worth the risk etc etc.

also worth noting, 5 bucks says this guy has nude pics of the underage girl on his phone. Just sayin.


As for talking to her yourself....
Like others said and even used me as an example, she is not gonna listen.... but like... just letting her know what's up and how extremely good the chances are that the relationship is just gonna go horribly wrong and ruin her life.... it definitely couldnt hurt lol.

For example, the advice i recieved from yahooka put me in this weird position where i knew exactly what i was doing wrong and how bad/stupid of a move it was... while i was doing it anyway lol.

I think that i was at least probably better off with that, as opposed to having no idea how dumb i was being lol.
__________________
<3
fenderbender is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to fenderbender For This Useful Post:
Canuck Wisdom (04-03-2015), Shadow619 (04-04-2015), The SARS Volta (04-03-2015)
Old 04-03-2015, 06:10 PM   #32 (permalink)
Al Talib
 
Sage Tree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Posts: 33,847
Blog Entries: 26
Thanks: 20,404
Thanked 13,938 Times in 8,725 Posts
Exlax brownies. No... Wait.... That's for a different kind of culprit.
__________________
Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmi



#BLACKLIVESMATTER

Sage Tree is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sage Tree For This Useful Post:
Shadow619 (04-04-2015)
Old 04-03-2015, 06:12 PM   #33 (permalink)
KONERS!
 
turmaline's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: CANADA
Posts: 9,633
Thanks: 5,183
Thanked 9,874 Times in 4,618 Posts
Man.. Because you have a kid and this guy seems like a psycho.. And your kid an your family comes first...

I wouldn't wanna touch this with a 100 foot pole.

It's really not your problem.

In all honesty.. Even though its family..

Take care of your own business..

If she wants to do obvious crazy ads dumb shit..

You don't need to involve you or the ones closest to you in her drama.

Only my opinion and what I would do.
__________________
BONERZ!


"I browse at work. If some nerd had a problem with dicks I'd stare him in the eyes then magnify the picture in question without saying a word."

"Shit is cash I love to lose myself to narrative while simultaneously soaking in nature and watching the frogs bang."
__________________
Terry


"NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies"

silverleaf
turmaline is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to turmaline For This Useful Post:
Bondi Bad Dog (04-04-2015), moketweed (04-04-2015), Shadow619 (04-04-2015)
Old 04-03-2015, 06:29 PM   #34 (permalink)
☼ ☾ ♡ ❄ ☯ ♫ ☮
 
The SARS Volta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: In a van, down by The River
Posts: 7,301
Thanks: 2,029
Thanked 1,525 Times in 677 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by turmaline View Post
Man.. Because you have a kid and this guy seems like a psycho.. And your kid an your family comes first...

I wouldn't wanna touch this with a 100 foot pole.

It's really not your problem.

In all honesty.. Even though its family..

Take care of your own business
The(currently proverbial)PO wouldn't necessarily TELL the guy where the intel came from. In fact, I'd venture to say there's absolutely no good reason why they'd inform violent criminals who ratted them out, after the fact. Unless for some reason, you had to testify in court...which is also highly doubtful IMO.

Also, if more than a few select people are in on the nature of the underage cousin & thug's current relationship; it'll be damn near impossible for either party to narrow down possibilities, re: who must've tipped off the authorities.
__________________
(fiance)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokeSomeDoja
pheonce hahaha wow a ghettoer spelling would be hard to come by.
edit - pheeyonce i guess.
The SARS Volta is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to The SARS Volta For This Useful Post:
Shadow619 (04-04-2015), The Rev (04-04-2015)
Old 04-03-2015, 06:49 PM   #35 (permalink)
Be a beginner every day
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,411
Thanks: 3,120
Thanked 2,791 Times in 1,545 Posts
I think Mothernature covered it with the family dynamic observation which you confirmed.

You can't undo years of resentment and force a course correction at this point unless she is quietly looking for your approval. What will you say years from now if she says "You didn't tell me not to, so I thought it was a good idea."

Tattoo face is listening to everything she's told you about stepmom and dad, and he's playing along like he's the one who will make it all go away and make it better. On top of that, he represents everything mom and dad don't like. In her eyes and immature state of mind, he's probably perfect compared to what she has now.

The best thing you can do is what you believe is right, and when the welfare of a minor or young adult is at stake, sometimes making the right choice is the most difficult one.
HTAM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2015, 07:05 PM   #36 (permalink)
\_(⊙_ʖ⊙)_/
 
Grieves's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 22,810
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 10,540
Thanked 13,419 Times in 6,479 Posts
I think this may be a release the mongeese to kill off the snakes that you unleashed to kill off the mice type of situation where you go and get an even burlier guy to go "take care" of the face tat guy under the guise that he is a chimo.
__________________
| ( ◡)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)


tyrannical apathy
militant ignorance
recreational outrage
free lunch felon
digital hobo
landlord president
prosperity gospel
predatory delay
aggravated boredom
sonic dysentery
what is your god trying to prove


Quote:
It has zero political or cultural value. It is reactionary in the worse sense: a gnarled wailing of a million broken losers joined in the comradery of hate and petty personal grievance.
Grieves is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2015, 07:54 PM   #37 (permalink)
tragically misinformed
 
kitch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Bay State
Posts: 10,454
Thanks: 776
Thanked 3,071 Times in 1,743 Posts
file under: advice, bad.

What you need to do is sleep with the guy yourself, then get jealous of your cousin and threaten publicly to burn down her house.
__________________
resurrection comes
not from iron nails and battered bodies,
but from the pungent warmth
of rich soil and rotting leaves
where dry seeds sprout
and grow toward the sun.

kitch is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to kitch For This Useful Post:
Bondi Bad Dog (04-04-2015)
Old 04-03-2015, 08:08 PM   #38 (permalink)
One
Successful Failure
 
One's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: where 'they' can't see.
Posts: 12,528
Thanks: 628
Thanked 2,303 Times in 1,296 Posts
Words from the old guy...


You can't do shit but be there to catch her when she inevitably falls.


On a side note, life can be strange. I was 18 and dating (living with for the most part) a 16 year old, with her mothers consent and blessing. Unbeknownst to pretty much everyone, she had been having an affair with one of her mothers friends since she was 14. They were married when she was 25 and he was 45 and they have been happily married ever since.

Never know what life is gonna throw your way.
__________________
"Bullshit. You're a white suburban punk, just like me."
Otto Maddox
---------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------
One is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to One For This Useful Post:
Bondi Bad Dog (04-04-2015), Galt (04-06-2015), The Rev (04-04-2015)
Old 04-03-2015, 08:41 PM   #39 (permalink)
UglyDucklingSyndrome
 
Canuck Wisdom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 12,566
Thanks: 6,296
Thanked 2,242 Times in 1,424 Posts
I would say, tell your uncle, but consider your own assessment of his character first. Having her trust may be more worthwhile int he long run. If things go bad you may regret not telling the father.

Telling the PO would be a good idea. Tell him everythign you told us and explain that you don't want them to know it was you, because he could be violent and you want to maintain her trust, and he can keep an eye out/do something about it if possible.

But being there for her, letting her know you are someone she can talk to and developing the relationship further may be the best route. And I liked what Rev said about asking her what she's doing, why she thinks she's making the right decisions (or whatever gets her to look at herself objectively), and making good choices on her own without over reacting.

Its possible (though you are totally right to be concerned) that the guy is a decent dude or trying to turn a corner. But wtf... I could understand if he tried to bone her, but moving in together... How would that be fulfilling for any 34 year old that isn't messed up. Or at least try to get her to understand that it may be a fun thing but there should be no serious consideration of making any commitment or shared financial situation with that sort of guy.
__________________
-Knowitall A&P type-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloydy View Post
everything in moderarion (especially moderation)
Canuck Wisdom is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Canuck Wisdom For This Useful Post:
Shadow619 (04-04-2015)
Old 04-03-2015, 08:45 PM   #40 (permalink)
UglyDucklingSyndrome
 
Canuck Wisdom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 12,566
Thanks: 6,296
Thanked 2,242 Times in 1,424 Posts
I'm late 20s and while I sometimes get turned on by 18-20 year old bodies... I generally view them as children. Not by choice, but by like... gut instinct... A healthy attitude towards relationships and even sex.
__________________
-Knowitall A&P type-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloydy View Post
everything in moderarion (especially moderation)
Canuck Wisdom is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:10 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
Inactive Reminders By Icora Web Design