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Guidance And Support Questions and issues of a serious nature including health, medicinal cannabis use, personal issues, relationship issues, communication problems, parenting, cross-generational issues, problems with parents, giving up and overcoming obstacles.

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Old 08-03-2015, 11:40 AM   #101 (permalink)
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Zoltron, sounds like your son is acting as a caregiver for you and the missus. If her serious health problems and your disability don't allow you to do certain things than you need someone to do them for you. You'd be paying for those services if your boy wasn't staying with you. I don't think it's the end of the world for a 24 year old to be living at home and son of zoltron seemed like a good dude the short time he was around here. Sounds like win/win right now with plenty of time for him to find himself. And you sound like a pretty good old man so lighten up on your old ass self.
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Old 08-03-2015, 06:27 PM   #102 (permalink)
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Thanks for the shake-up about stop kicking myself in the ass. It's been an eye-opener & you all are right...everyone has put this in perspective for me & I thank you all for the "You didn't fuck up as a parent!" That helps tremendously.

It is working out nicely, as when I got up today, my son had already filled 2 garbage cans with yard trash. He is a caregiver & right now is a win/win situation. Things have always seemed to work out in the long run...way before it's apparent & this time is probably no different.

When my gravy life was yanked out from under me in 1983...having to leave CO, my Teamster job, all my buddies, my g/f, etc. to come to NC...a place I didn't want to be, but had no choice. Couldn't find work, friends that I could understand (the accent was rough), a chick, nothing...until the pieces started falling into place. Then looking back, it was like "Damn! I've made new pals again at age 30, a newspaper job (still no Union) & a main squeeze!" The pieces fell into place. A long process, but things DID work out. And they will once again.

Thanks again everyone for that reminder.
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Old 08-03-2015, 07:02 PM   #103 (permalink)
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I'm late twenties and I'm back with my folks part time in order to help me afford paying for school round 2.

I think that's acceptable, the wise move (financially), and more and more the norm.

However, being here during the summer makes me feel less independent, less confident, and somewhat frustrated with my life, even though I have a great relationship with my whole family. Actually my older brother is back home right now too, but for different reasons. The whole family is together again... just like when we were growing up, for the first time in about a decade.

I intend to move back here after I finish next year, and stay until my debt is payed off and I have enough to put a down payment on a house, or at least add to my investments so that when I do want to buy a house, I can, even if I've been paying rent.

I think I can do that in 6-10 months if I get one of the jobs I will be qualified for, but that means I'll be here till after I am 30 and that is an embarrassing thought. Its frustrating since I feel like a limited version of myself when I am not more in control of my environment/household, and I basically can't date while I'm here (for a variety of reasons... it just doesn't work for me).

Its nice to be able to help my aging parents too. Its tough to see them with health issues.
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Old 08-03-2015, 07:04 PM   #104 (permalink)
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Hey man...no hard feelings. I left home at age 18...travelled for 3 years, then would either get my own crib or move into a house with like 4-5 other people.

Back in the early 1970s, I think it was easier for us to go out on our own. We didn't think so much, as we weren't bombarded with information 24/7. The Internet has made young people feel like if they haven't made their millions of $$$ by age 20, it's all over for them.

My generation? We didn't give a shit what others had or thought of us. For some reason, young men in their early to mid 20s, think they missed the 'dot com' boat...or the 'cellphone' boat by not getting in on the ground floor. Then you have these pretty-boys like Justin Bieber & other overnight You Tube sensations that were in the right place at the right time & are tonning it with cash. Look at that fuckwad Floyd 'Money' Mayweather. He carries around 2 duffel bags with a million dollars in them. Why? Who fuckin knows! I guess just to show off & then he brags about dropping $75,000 to $100,000 in strip joints in 1 night. Makes other 'kids' (& yeah, if you're in your 20s, you're still a kid) think of themselves as failures because they can't do that.

My generation didn't give 2 shits who was rich, who was poor, who was educated or who wasn't. If you were a cool dude, a nice guy...that was all that mattered (a bag of good smoke & some LSD helped a lot as well). Seems like nowadays, it's pounded into youngsters' heads that if you aren't loaded, or don't have your own business, you've missed the boat & might as well flip burgers.

I didn't mean to be harsh on you, Grieves old pal, but when a person becomes a parent, you'd take a bullet for your kid without hesitation. I'm sorry your childhood wasn't too good (I'm an only child as well, but my folks tried for 13 years before I was born...doc told my mom she'd never have kids, but that didn't stop them from trying). So when I was growing up, my folks were old enough to be my grandparents.

No hard feelings, my friend.
"Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires." -John Steinbeck(source disputed)
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