The Rev

How many of you feel like your inner world is filled with conflict all the time?

I'm totally split in two, myself. On the one hand, I'm this really nice guy who cares about others and is very empathetic. On the other, I'm also really really angry in some very deep ways. It can be kinda exhausting sometimes, as I often feel I have to hide the anger, or deal with it in some way and I don't know how. I have found a stalemate situation, in a series of defense mechanisms where I am anti- a bunch of shit, and basically dwell on the average person being stupid alot.

It doesn't serve me very well, tho, as I feel at odds with the world all the time. One minute angry at everything, or everyone (I need to videotape myself driving through the mall parking lot sometime), the next, being very open to the wonder of things, and people.

Anyway, I'm not posting all this so someone can help me fix it. I already have a guy I pay like $50 Billion a second to help me with my emotional issues. I'm just putting this out there so others can talk about having similar problems, and so I don't have to feel so weird and alone about my issues (unless, it turns out, that I actually AM weird and alone; which, if so, I guess I might as well face )

Discuss!!

bongsmilie

The Rev

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Paranoid Android

I used to be in a similar boat as you.

I always have good intentions and try to be nice to people, but people just piss me off to an extent that makes me angry and spiteful.

I have to admit though, since I've discovered who I really am and what I stand for (which was just a month or so ago), I feel a lot better. I just dont care what people think anymore. I used to always care what people thought.

But now, not trying to be mean or anything.. they can go fuck themselves.

Cause Im not going to live my life that way.

That's for fucking sure.

edit: I voted yes, but I dont feel this way anymore.. at least not as much.

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"We're not scaremongering, this is really happening."

bigbob01

I totally know what your saying. I love people and like being nice, but i get sick of being nice to the people who dont deserve it. i really battle myself with that similar situation. Do i need to be nice to those people?

PSYCHOMANN

Usually these issues mean you're angry underneath it all somehow. I used to be that way too. I just had to accept there are stupid people, and they have the right to be stupid. Like I have the right to call them stupid if need be.

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bongsmilie
SARCASM - JUST ONE MORE SERVICE THAT I OFFER......
"Send yer Mamma straight up to the sto',Tell that Bitch to bring home a Faygo"....
ZOLTRON: .......Where Da White Women At??? Oh, Lordy , Lord, Lord- Listen To What He SAY!!!......

K10

That "inner war" is just part of being human. We live in a society that tries to get us to fit into to societal norms and play our part as we've been told to. But we know better than most that that will never work. So we have a conflict inside ourselves. The inner desires we fight with aren't inherently good or bad. The ego and the id if you will.

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Just because you tie dye your wool, doesn't mean
you're not a sheep.
R.I.P. Alice D.

Waves

happiness is meant to be found within. if you cant find it there where else do you expect to find it? cars, televisions, computers, the internet, etc... can only get you so far.

i think many people in these western "modern" nations are fixated on external happiness. i mean think about what really makes you happy. Do you run your whole schedule on physical needs and concerns? Alot of people are in this constant search for unnecessary external gratification and its a road that leads nowhere. And you dont realize it till its too late most of the time.

http://dmoz.org/Health/Alternative/Meditation/

I can guarentee even a small amount of meditation(10-20 minutes a day) will have you feeling better if you arent currently doing it. looking within has so many different uses that your mind will really thank you for taking the time to just reflect and realize.

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On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

~1~

Where ever you go, no matter what you do, there will always ALWAYS be assholes...

Take this seed of knowledge my son, cultivate it into a tree of understanding and reap the fruits of an inner peace in the realization that perhaps you too are not one of them.

Whenever I'm faced with stupidity and ignorance on a grand scale, I always ask myself...

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?!

He's my next door neighbors gardeners lazy kid, he smokes alot of pot and helps his dad sometimes on the weekend.

So, yeah, I guess the answer is yardwork and pot. There it is folks, the meaning of life, cut the grass while you're smoking it and it'll all make sense.

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Canuck Wisdom

I said yes. But not in the way you described Rev...

I dont have an anger issue... at all really, I credit that to my parents/upbringing/natural endowments.

I do have turmoil alot of the time about things such as whether or not I should continue to toke... female relations... schooling/working and my future in that regards and what is expected of me to survive in this world..

I get mad about oppression and systematic manipulation and such things more then anything really. The reasons why marijuana is illegal, or the beurocratic take over of religious institutions or the suppression of the truth about halucinogens and the brainwashed ignorance I encounter so often.

That shit makes me mad, but usually not too mad... I get over it and know sometimes I just need to accept that some people are evil and some are stupid.

But yes, I do have turmoil which I tend to feel suppressed by on the inside.... sometimes I wonder if this stems from use of psychoactive drugs... namely, marijuana. I also wonder if I will be stuck with this problem for ever or only so long as I continue to use drugs.

Is it like I am awakened and now I have the knowledge but must deal with the responsibility?

Why dont I just drink myself into stupidity like Bush and just be blissfully content with my lot/dead?

Good idea for a thread Rev...

Edit: I agree with waves, though I dont always get mine in. I know that meditation on a daily basis... and things like prayer or the recitation of a mantra before bed and when you wake up WILL make you feel different and better about yourself, if not at least help you understand your troubles more clearly/realisticly.

I've always liked The Rev's sig that said, the most important thing in life is maintaining a healthy relationship with reality. Or something like that.

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-Knowitall A&P type-

Mercury

ALL i do is contradict myself

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Canuck Wisdom

No you don't!

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-Knowitall A&P type-

Ego Tripping

The problem is we like to make ourselves the victim of this world we live in. Stop with this bullshit of "oh why me!" Why? Because you chose this. The second you accept the idea that YOU CHOSE TO COME HERE, all your life becomes is nothing but a series of accomplishments, not failures and catastrophes. You chose to be in every position to find yourself in, no matter how bad or how good. It's all a test.

Fact is, this world is FILLED with Ignorance. But it's finding the beauty in the ignorance that will dicate a happy life or a confused and angry life. As The Police say, "It takes a man to suffer ignorance and Smile." If you maintain true to yourself and true to what you desire, there can be no suffering.

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snapshot

What'd you find religion or something, ya freak?


No seriously, wtf, how did you find?

ziplock

I think a lot of people's motivations stem from this inner turmoil. Their perception of who they are and their idea of who they want to be. Then their surroundings typically lend themselves to the development of one or the other. For instance, if we're in contact with people we find aggrivating or frustrating, then we'll generally develop accordingly, becoming an angry person. This could be in direct conflict with our idea of who we want to be and the life we have. This then prompts people to change aspects of either themselves or their surroundings in order to integrate the two sides.

Typically I find people will opt to change their surroundings, or lie to themselves, to remedy this inner conflict. To become comfortable with themselves. Comfort seems to be quite the large factor in the everyday life. When you think about it, people tend to be rather static when comfortable. When that comfort is contested or compromised, then they will spring into action. It's quite the self centered perspective and is dependant typically on the surroundings of the individual.

When we're in a group with other people, it's a common habit to lie to ourselves, and portray a different type of person than who we are. We do this so we don't feel out of place, so that we're comfortable in this specific context. It's quite the achievement when a person can become comfortable with themselves. To be able to express that true self without lying. I think of bruce lee when it comes to this conflict, which is fitting I suppose with martial arts.Hopefully this made sense... probably not. Lol.

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Insanity is the only sane reaction to an insane society.

snapshot

I think Bruce Lee was one of the greater thinkers of the modern era. His words move me into a static lullaby though. Where do I meet people who know, or how do I follow words that they say?

I think positive influences are one the the best things one can do to help express their principle. Since one is more often in a test than a life threatening situation, a healthy group of friends can do much greater good than the harm of staying in reinforcing situation where one feels they can't be themselves.


But yeah, I agree that people often lie to themselves to make better their situation. Those who say they don't I would assume usually are lying to themselves because I'm well aware that even when I try not to lie to myself about my true feelings, I still can't help but be blindly optimistic or blindly pessimistic some of the time. It contriibutes to a false sense of self.

Waves

Firstly I think its important to realize that our personality is always in a constant state of change. We all choose what facets of ourselves to bring into existence, and thats not a one-time process- thats a process happening by the micro-second. I think the more in-tune a person is with themselves the more they will create positive scenarios and the more we lie to ourselves the more we create negative scenarios.

Ziplock i loved that post

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On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow