tedkennedy

life is so infinitely confusing...

i remember my mindset in highschool when i absorbed all these counter-culture literature and movies and had all these great ideals, then after college i am just a miserable scum sucker and i realize that my worth as a human is only measured by my ability to obtain money and females, of which i have none. i can philosophize about ideology, ethics and the meaning of life til the cows come home but ill just be a useless toad without money and bitches

why is life such a crock of shit. i wanna just live in the woods and fuck all this complicated shit.

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matthew munari

tedkennedy

that is unless i score some money and bitches! then im back in the game baby!

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matthew munari

Waves

my worth as a human is defined by no one but myself. i try not to care what others think of me or compare myself to others because i know everyones different and i need to find what makes me happy, not what i think should make me happy.

life is the result of your perspective, if you take the perspective that its all meaningless your life will be meaningless. you gotta fulfill your own purpose and worth.

yaba yaba yaba

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On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

tedkennedy

you are correct waves, but at the end of the day if you have no money and no bitches are you going to be happy? can you be happy when you dont have nice things? can you feel proud of yourself without money and bitches?

i dunno i am a free thinker too, and i have pretty radical beliefs. but quite frankly every time i talk to anyone, friend or family member they want to talk about credentials, ie. how good your grades are, are you graduated, what awesome jobs you have lined up. i personally dont give a shit about these things but when i live in a world where all that matters is the size of your resume, i cant help but compare myself and feel like an inadequate loser

for example i am not graduating this year because i fucked up a semester a few years ago while dealing with crippling anxiety disorder, so everyone i talk to i have to explain why i am not graduating and they all make me feel like a fucking loser idiot. in reality i just dont give a shit about grades and hate school, but at the end of the day, whether or not i care about the meaning of grades, i am going to be infererior because of my lower grades.

thats just how society is... its a rat race and people are willingly caught up in it. college is the opitimy of it... brown-nosing cockbags

i want to get away from society but quite frankly i dont fucking know how, all i know is that i need to make money if i want to do anything, so im stuck in the system that i despise so much but now i have shot myself in the foot for being against the system since highschool and not caring about my "career future"

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matthew munari

SageTree

Waves captured that really well.

Perspective indeed is what helps us have insights into meaning.

So here is my question....

You

A. Want money and bitches.

Will this lead to ultimate happiness for you? When do you imagine you'll have enough? If this gives you worth, what is that said value and who is setting that bar?

B. I thought it was interesting that in option A. was achieve 'sucess' or 'worth' and the second option was to live alone in the woods.

Are you running/hiding? What makes you think of the woods? What do you hope to find or not find there? Would you feel accepted in the woods alone?

If you remember things you read in HS, what stuck with you? What captured your spirit in those books? Did you want to live that way? What changed?

I only seek happiness for you in my questioning. Not to appear judgmental.

Metta,
SageTree

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tedkennedy

^ the woods, away from society, where my main concerns would be obtaining modest quantities of food and water, where i can build whatever i need. where i dont need to pay cell phone bills, internet bills, tv bills, gas bills, housing bills, tax , where i dont need to act like anything just becuase thats what society expects, i dont need to wear a suit and be a monkey butler to the man

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matthew munari

tedkennedy

i dunno, i am trying to convey the transition of an idealistic youth to an adult with lost hope and utter disappointment with how life turned out. maybe i was just naive, but in this world the sooner you are a drone for capitalism the better, because job security means more than ideology.

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matthew munari

Waves

i hear ya bro...society is a self-perpetuating machine that narrows people into cattle. i gave up on that bullshit a long time ago. the trick is not getting caught up in the bs judgements and expectations that people have and find what makes you happy. if living in a forest in seclusion is your thing, do whatever you need to do to live it. many people have done so, getting the fuck away from this crazed society is not a new idea.

ive found my peace with the evils and bullshits of society and have chosen to live within it, exerting my preferences while still working in the system and allowing it to sustain me. but thats a choice everyone makes.

im a big believer in following ones desires, i think that leads to the ultimate happiness in life. im also a believer that shit needs to get done. theres more to being fulfilled than sitting around all day doing bullshit, which ive done plenty of. it doesnt fulfill me. what fulfills me is growing as a person and finding ways to interact with society that are positive and interesting to me. leaving my comfort zone and all that shit. we're too fuckin comfortable here in the states.

anyway now im rambling. basically what i want to say is that maybe you should just focus on what fulfills you and do everything you can to get it. if your doing that your too busy to worry about how shitty other peoples lives are, or how much better they are in comparison. your just focused on you and being you and doing what you enjoy.

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On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

SageTree

I disagree that people willingly get into the rat race. It might seem willing and this is where you are coming to collision with that. You have stepped into a conscious relm where YOU are the willing one now. I feel that ignorance to options or even the question of alternatives, are what gets 'society' to the point it is.

This is the hard part of enlightened thinking. What do you do with it?

First off, I love you Ted. I like you the way you are, for as well as I know you. What you are asking is something I can closely relate to. In 2004 my life was already full of lots of changes in my life regaurding who I was 'supposed' to be. 4 years out of highschool. No college. No 'career'. For the last two years of my life I had been dating my soon to be with in Sept of 04. Which had dramitically catapolted my life into the place I dreamt of. I met a person who helped me feel okay to be me. So the catalyst of confusion was taking form in this part of my life. I had given up meat for 2 years. My Dad didn't understand why I didn't want to go hunting and why I didn't want to take my guns from the house. The environment of my changing was turbulent and required alot of acceptance on both sides. I changed they didn't. I had to give them a break. So I shared bit at a time how my life and thoughts had changed, why things were important. What a Unitarian Universalist was. What my goals where and emphisize that I was happy. I was making $10/hr in a greenhouse job I loved, and didn't have any other plans. My wife and I traveled had a car and rented. We both worked and had alot of money.

Then we moved to Canada, which is a whole side story and coast change of acceptance, and really downsized our life to simplify. For a few months before our money cleared we had to live in $1000 for 3 months, not including our rent. Things got pretty bleak, but I found a job when my permit came. I supported my wife and I with all our needs in $14/hr, in Vancouver which is mad expensive, and still managed to pay $10k out of my $25kish salary. I still went for beers saw movies went to parties, traveled ect ect...I never felt at a loss.

For the last year we have been living on $15k per year, working spuratically. Explaining to family it's not that I cant' work, its that I don't want/have to. Eplaining to emplyers why I ONLY want part time.

After a few years of seriousness and laughs, my Mom inparticular has come to find 'salvation' of sorts in my life, she has stated. Her religious ideas have grown and made her happy. Also it gave her the courage to quit her job of 30 years and pursue something she likes. My Step Mom makes me meatless dishes even though ' she doesn't understand' and my uber christian Grama sees I'm not dead from not eating meat.

My Step Dad is proud of us both because we live freely and have no debt. His sons, who make over $100k a year still have to ask him for money! How's that for embarrassment? Slaves to debt and 'the dream'

Live life for yourself, it's the only one you got. Everything changes, you opinion of Self, and others perception of you. I know for damn sure alot of people think I must be crazy, in my life. But dang man, they know I'm all happy and it brings them happiness too.


Your Friend
Sage

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Waves

and by the way, all that bullshit about fucking yourself and not caring about your "career future" is bullshit. you are free to follow any career you want, at any time. find what you enjoy.

the sooner you find what you love to do, the sooner you are happy. the more you try to mold yourself into society and reject your own integrity the worse it all gets.

__________________
On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

SageTree

Also Ted.

Thanks for the gift of your sharing.

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Waves

yes, i love telling other people how to live their lives.

(just fuckin with you guys, i love ya both :P)

__________________
On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

SageTree

It's obvious what is telling and what is genuine seeking to ease suffering.

I think we've all read the G&S threads where people tell others.


Sage

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Bodhisattva

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pacman

life is all about your mindset. right now its fuckin good to be alive and i wanna party. thats due to the vodka, but you gotta be happy. thats my philosophy till the cows come home.

sometimes i stress over shit like what im gonna do with my life, school, w/e. but after a few drinks it feels so clear what i want to do, and i see a good future.

i dunno ted, just try to find a good set of mind somehow, even if it involves hurting your body in the long run, because my philosophy is 'be happy right now'. good luck, the future for everyone is wide open. life is what you make it. even if you dont have bitches and money, find somethin that makes you happy

Center

ted, I understand how you feel. Really do. I've been their in my past and still at times experience that feeling. I finally came to peace with the fact that the majority of people DO measure your status by those things.
I know in my life that I see so much...lifelessness and despair around...and realise im not that way, I feel obliged to help. We must be honest with ourselves and realise the people who can help the world the most are people like Bill Gates/Ghandi; people with power. Power comes in many forms.
Anyway, what I'm getting at is that YES having money is a requirement in this world. Having power IS necessary to effect with as much force as you can in this world. Now heres the catch...NEITHER of those two have to come from a negative place. You CAN get money and bitchs in a way thats true to your self and respectful of others. Then once you have them your in a position to help more people. Anyway, thats how I see it.

tedkennedy

haha hahah you da man waves, also you too sage

im not in a bad mood or unhappy really, its just wierd that i find myself happily applying for janitorial jobs even though im educated as fuck just because i need fucking money and hate the stress associated with higher responsibility jobs and i never bothered getting any references because i hated all my previous jobs, and i desperately want them to give me a job scrubbing toilets so i can be alone and just quietly clean shit and earn some money so i can make a plan to gtfo. i hate corporate america, i hate how people are annoying impersonal scumbags and with a job your just forced to take all their shit with a grin on your face.

and honestly if they give the job to another middle aged hispanic woman im gonna be so fucking dissappointed, equal opportunity my ass....

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matthew munari

Headshot16

Well this is my first post, and I think it's the right thread as I am passionate about this subject.

I'm not at all happy with with modern society and I am moving off-grid to live a simpler life. I have a wonderful lady friend that'll join me and I am always looking for people to join us.

Google Rishi Sowa, he has it made. Except I plan on have electricity with the use of solar panels and wind turbines. But to do what he has done, all you need is the will. Many people live off-grid and it is very appealing to me, hell there are even whole communities. No money, though some people in these communities trade with weed, you sustain yourself, and no one is on your shit. Sounds very appealing to me. It is a lot of hard work though...

One of my favorite sites is abovetopsecret, read some politcal bs on there and see where the world maybe be going. All the more reason to follow your passions and dreams.

I have a whole bunch of resources on the subject if anyone is interested.

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Life is short, follow your dreams, and be happy... Even if you think it's going to kill you.

Psilocychosis

Waves is all over this one. Keep your head up ted, things will fall into place before you know it. Even if that means you reside in the woods. Whatever decisions you make have to be for your interest. Keep it alive.

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Life gave me lemons, I didn't make no lemonade, threw the fuckin' lemons back and busted out the Cabernet

seattle420lover

don't even think about it.

"life has a way of making the foreseeable that which never happens"- MARK TWAIN

"Just when I found the meaning of life, they changed it"
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
I got an idea make up an MP3 playlist of songs that mention LIFE!

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"The highest realms of thought are impossible to reach without first attaining to an understanding of compassion" SOCRATES, 470-399 BC