Letter to Dr. Laura

The Rev · 07-15-2010, 11:52 PM

This a letter that's been floating around on the internet for a few years. It's probably just as bullshit as the other letters that are often brought up in chain emails, etc., but I thought the content was funny, so I figured I'd post it anyway:

Quote:

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

(It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian

The Rev

**~~Dantastic~~** · 07-16-2010, 12:07 AM

I appreciate this is a joke letter, but this is why its silly for anybody interested.

The New and Old Testaments

**SageTree** · 07-16-2010, 07:36 AM

The term 'old' and 'new' is pretty Christo centric / ironic when talking to a Jewish lady about where the 'law' comes from.

my_scatterheart · 07-16-2010, 08:06 AM

^

highfive

The Rev · 07-16-2010, 01:03 PM

My point in posting this was to show the hypocrisy of those who use the bible against homosexuality, as most of those people engage in other condemned activities, or are against things the bible condones. Just in case there's any confusion.

The Rev

**~~Dantastic~~** · 07-16-2010, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SageTree

The term 'old' and 'new' is pretty Christo centric / ironic when talking to a Jewish lady about where the 'law' comes from.

ugh, how did I even miss that, I thought it was odd she was quoting law.

verklingen · 07-16-2010, 01:44 PM

Quote:

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

**AlteredStateGrl** · 07-16-2010, 04:22 PM

she's actually clarified what her feelings are about gay people, what she originally said was taken out of context YEARS and years ago. you'd be surprised at how many gay people actually call her show asking for advice.

i guess somewhat off topic, but i just thought i'd throw that out there.

**SageTree** · 07-16-2010, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terry

I don't use the C word often ..........

Christian??

Thanks Terr-bear, I don't think you toed the line at all. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

**~~Dantastic~~** · 07-16-2010, 05:15 PM

Terry needs to change his name to Terry "keeping it real" Daniels.(not his real last name)

**SageTree** · 07-16-2010, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Rev

My point in posting this was to show the hypocrisy of those who use the bible against homosexuality, as most of those people engage in other condemned activities, or are against things the bible condones. Just in case there's any confusion.

The Rev

I'm sorry Rev. I didn't miss that point either. You got like one or two passages about no-homo this and no-homo that, but it's so easy to skip over the many many more verses about love, compassion, charity, etc...etc....

Seems like a no brains scale of one verse one vote, sets where it goes on the list of "Do what God says or else'.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dantastic

ugh, how did I even miss that, I thought it was odd she was quoting law.

It's ok Dan. It's confusing when more than one person read from the same book but differ in faiht.

Muslim people acknowledge and read from parts of the Hebrew and Christian texts to point to things in their faith tradition as well. For instance, the 'no pork clause' of the Muslim is thought to be directly from the Hebrew scriptures, since there is obviously a 'rule' that is obeyed in the culture, but isn't found in the Quran.

Shine on you crazy Dantastic, shine on!!!

**~~Dantastic~~** · 07-16-2010, 05:41 PM

There is a very close connection between muslims and the talmund, its pretty easy to spot.

**SageTree** · 07-16-2010, 05:55 PM

Agreed on that one.

The Rev · 07-16-2010, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SageTree

I'm sorry Rev. I didn't miss that point either. You got like one or two passages about no-homo this and no-homo that, but it's so easy to skip over the many many more verses about love, compassion, charity, etc...etc....

Seems like a no brains scale of one verse one vote, sets where it goes on the list of "Do what God says or else'.

That's the most important point of all, in my opinion. The bible is about alot of things, both good and bad, both helpful and harmful. It's all about how you come to the table with it, I think. If you're looking to wall yourself up behind your righteousness, the bible will give you ammunition. If you're looking to grow as a person, the bible will give you guidance.

I guess religion is like a handgun: It doesn't turn people into judgemental assholes, people turn people into judgemental assholes. I would imagine that it offends God to see people turn a book intended for good into a weapon.

The Rev

**SageTree** · 07-17-2010, 08:07 AM

I'll work with in the ideal of 'totally true'.....

God gave us the Bible out of love and out of not wanting to punish people for eternity.

Sometimes the 'even handedness' in 'His' judgment seems to come off as a 'when keeping it real goes wrong' moment, though. However I understand it through my own Path which is a segue into....

...... speaking from my own heart and beliefs, I'll say simply. I don't think people or god writes 'self help' guides to divide and shame people.

I don't know about 'judgment' but I think there is certainly a karma that follows people.
You can't put off negative energy without surrounding yourself in it.

Could 'God' have made that the law of 'judgment'...? Maybe?

However or why ever it's there.... I believe you can't piss off the Nature/Universe/God for long before you get smote by something.

I believe in staying mindful and where I'm at/what I'm doing. I try to stay thankful for the lessons each moment presents me. 'This too shall pass', it's hard to know when something is happening whether it will be 'good' or 'bad' in the course of life.

In other words, keep my mind off of labels, and more on what is actually happening/what or what not, I'm going to do about it.

Service and Gratitude would be in the list of 'commandments' in the book I write

Namaste
SageTree

07-16-2010, 07:36 AM	#3 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,769 Times in 4,664 Posts	The term 'old' and 'new' is pretty Christo centric / ironic when talking to a Jewish lady about where the 'law' comes from. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

07-16-2010, 08:06 AM	#4 (permalink)
my_scatterheart Today, I am alive. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ Posts: 3,553 Thanks: 1,487 Thanked 3,328 Times in 1,870 Posts	^ highfive __________________ Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

07-16-2010, 01:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
The Rev Clear Light Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In my head, somewhere. Posts: 17,867 Thanks: 5,019 Thanked 5,421 Times in 2,865 Posts	My point in posting this was to show the hypocrisy of those who use the bible against homosexuality, as most of those people engage in other condemned activities, or are against things the bible condones. Just in case there's any confusion. The Rev __________________ Budforce - My Friend August 29, 1973- May 25, 2012

07-16-2010, 04:22 PM	#8 (permalink)
AlteredStateGrl (òÓ,)_\,,/ Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 10,426 Thanks: 2,181 Thanked 1,823 Times in 1,115 Posts	she's actually clarified what her feelings are about gay people, what she originally said was taken out of context YEARS and years ago. you'd be surprised at how many gay people actually call her show asking for advice. i guess somewhat off topic, but i just thought i'd throw that out there. __________________ The sweetest kittens have the sharpest claws.

07-16-2010, 05:55 PM	#13 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,769 Times in 4,664 Posts	Agreed on that one. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

07-16-2010, 12:07 AM	#2 (permalink)
~~Dantastic~~ Banned Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: A suburb Posts: 1,081 Thanks: 285 Thanked 325 Times in 219 Posts	I appreciate this is a joke letter, but this is why its silly for anybody interested. The New and Old Testaments

07-16-2010, 05:15 PM	#10 (permalink)
~~Dantastic~~ Banned Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: A suburb Posts: 1,081 Thanks: 285 Thanked 325 Times in 219 Posts	Terry needs to change his name to Terry "keeping it real" Daniels.(not his real last name)

07-16-2010, 05:41 PM	#12 (permalink)
~~Dantastic~~ Banned Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: A suburb Posts: 1,081 Thanks: 285 Thanked 325 Times in 219 Posts	There is a very close connection between muslims and the talmund, its pretty easy to spot.

07-17-2010, 08:07 AM	#15 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,769 Times in 4,664 Posts	I'll work with in the ideal of 'totally true'..... God gave us the Bible out of love and out of not wanting to punish people for eternity. Sometimes the 'even handedness' in 'His' judgment seems to come off as a 'when keeping it real goes wrong' moment, though. However I understand it through my own Path which is a segue into.... ...... speaking from my own heart and beliefs, I'll say simply. I don't think people or god writes 'self help' guides to divide and shame people. I don't know about 'judgment' but I think there is certainly a karma that follows people. You can't put off negative energy without surrounding yourself in it. Could 'God' have made that the law of 'judgment'...? Maybe? However or why ever it's there.... I believe you can't piss off the Nature/Universe/God for long before you get smote by something. I believe in staying mindful and where I'm at/what I'm doing. I try to stay thankful for the lessons each moment presents me. 'This too shall pass', it's hard to know when something is happening whether it will be 'good' or 'bad' in the course of life. In other words, keep my mind off of labels, and more on what is actually happening/what or what not, I'm going to do about it. Service and Gratitude would be in the list of 'commandments' in the book I write Namaste SageTree __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance. Last edited by SageTree; 07-17-2010 at 08:11 AM.

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