clive

Just got done finishing a book by Robin Sharma called Who will cry when you die? it's really easy to read and I found it quite uplifting, there are 101 short chapters in all and I'm going to type each one out in this thread one chapter per day.

I'm doing this to share the wisdom and also to plant the words more firmly into my head, not all the chapters are useful but a fair amount of them are to me at least. Hope you get something out of it.

1.


When I was growing up, my father said something to me I will never forget, "Son, when you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die the world cries while you rejoice." We live in an age when we have forgotten what life is all about. We can easily put a person on the Moon, but we have trouble walking across the street to meet a new neighbor. We can fire a missile across the world with pinpoint accuracy, but we have trouble keeping a date with our children to go to the library. We have email, fax machines and digital phones so that we can stay connected and yet we live in a time where human beings have never been less connected. We have lost touch with our humanity. We have lost touch with our purpose. We have lost sight of the things that matter the most.

And so, as you start this book, I respectfully ask you, Who will cry when you die? How many lives will you touch while you have the privilege to walk this planet? What impact will your life have on the generations that follow you? And what legacy will you leave behind after you have taken your last breath? One of the lessons I have learned in my own life is that if you don't act on life, life has a habit of acting on you. The days slip into weeks, the weeks slip into months and the months slip into years. Pretty soon it's all over and you are left with nothing more than a heart filled with regret over a life half lived. George Bernard Shaw was asked on his deathbed, "What would you do if you could live your life over again?" He reflected, then replied with a deep sigh; "I'd like to be the person I could have been but never was." I've written this book so that this will never happen to you.

As a professional speaker, I spend much of my work life delivering keynote addresses at conferences across North America, flying from city to city, sharing my insights on leadership in business and in life with many different people. Though they all come from diverse walks of life, their questions invariably center on the same things these days: How can I find a greater meaning in my life? How can I make a lasting contribution through my work? and How can I simplify so what I can enjoy the journey of life before it's too late?

My answer always begins the same way: Find your calling. I believe we all have special talents that are just waiting to be engaged in a worthy pursuit. We are all here for some unique purpose, some noble objective that will allow us to manifest our highest human potential while we, at the same time, add value to the lives around us. Finding your calling doesnt mean you must leave the job you now have. It simply means you need to bring more of yourself into your work and focus on the things you do best. It means you have to stop waiting for other people to make the changes you desire and, as Mahatma Gandhi noted: "Be the change that you wish to see most in your world." And once you do, your life will change.

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SageTree

Excellent idea clive, thank you.

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deadhead94

Chances are I don't know anyone who will be around me when I die. I can't answer that.

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SageTree

This might be somewhat of a blog-like thread in the end, not sure if it's a particular question or just a sharing?

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Xil

i'm hoping theres more laughing than crying. i like the irish catholic model: get wasted and turn a death into a celebration

a pour of the bottle down the grave for the dead and the rest to drink in their memory

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fenderbender

id like to think yahooka would make a thread about me.


Hopefully death recognizes my yahookan nature and grants me one last post before i pass on.

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Imagine there's no heaven,It's easy if you try

<3

Roach

no one, I would hope.

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לזיין את הקופים

Xil

When Chuang Tzu’s wife died, his friend Hui Tzu came to offer his condolences and found Chuang Tzu hunkered down, drumming on a potter pan and singing.

Hui Tzu said, “You lived with her, raised children with her, and grew old together. Even weeping is not enough, but now you are drumming and singing. Is it a bit too much?”
Chuang Tzu said, “That is not how it is. When she just died, how could I not feel grief? But I looked deeply into it and saw that she was lifeless before she was born. She was also formless and there was not any energy. Somewhere in the vast imperceptible universe there was a change, an infusion of energy, and then she was born into form, and into life. Now the form has changed again, and she is dead. Such death and life are like the natural cycle of the four seasons. My dead wife is now resting between heaven and earth. If I wail at the top of my voice to express my grief, it would certainly show a failure to understand what is fated. Therefore I stopped.” (Chapter 18)

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clive

Thanks for the posts guys, I didn't get to post the next chapter yesterday so I will do it today.

2.


On his deathbed, Aldous Huxley reflected on his entire life's learning andf then summed it up in seven simple words: "Let us be kinder to one another." All too often, we believe that in order to live a truly fulfilling life we must achieve some great act or grand feat that will put us on the front covers of magazines and newspapers. Nothing could be further from the truth. A meaningful life is made up of a series of daily acts of decency and kindness, which, ironically, add up to something truly great over the course of a lifetime.

Everyone who enters your life has a lesson to teach and a story to tell. Every person you pass during the moments that make up your days represents an opportunity to show a little more of the compassion and courtesy that define your humanity. Why not start being more of the person you truly are during your days and doing what you can ro enrich the world around you? In my mind, if you make even one person smile during your day or brighten the mood of even one stranger, your days has been a worthwhile one. Kindness, quite simply, is the rent we must pay for the space we occupy on this planet.

Become more creative in the ways you show compassion to strangers. Paying the toll for the person in the car behind you, offering your seat on the subway to someone in need and being the first to say hello are great places to start. Recently, I received a letter from a read of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari who lives in Washington State. In it she wrote: "I have a practice of tithing to people who have helped me along my spiritual path. Please accept the enclosed check of $100 with my blessings and gratitude." I quickly responded to her generous act by sending one of my audiotape programs in return so she received value for the gift she sent me. Her gesture was a great lesson in the importance of giving sincerely and from the heart.

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Mercury

why would you want to read a book like that? and who cares what happens or who does what after you're dead.... YOU'RE DEAD!

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clive

you're totally missing the point. it's ok you have some growing up to do bro. i used to be that way too when I was a teen.

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SageTree

Merc has been trying out the Spiritual Smoke stuff recently... methinks he's still getting his 'legs'....

The only thing guaranteed to us in this life is death.

Everything in the middle.... who knows man...

The study of and reflections on Death are also a study and reflection of what is means to be alive.

The entire Tibetan Book of the Dead isn't about Dying... It's about how to live a practical, well measured life, which has far longer lasting effects then just having a clear conscious when you are in the change called dying.

It's abstract... I'll give you that.

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clive

3.


One day, according to an old story, a man with a serious illness was wheeled into a hospital room where another patient was resting on a bed next to the window. As the two became friends, the one next to the window would look out of it and then spend the next few hours delighting his bedridden companion with vivid descriptions of the world outside. Some days he would describe the beauty of the trees in the park across from the hospital and how the leaves danced in the wind. On other days, he would entertain his friend with step-by-step replays of the things people were doing as they walked by the hospital. However, as time went on, the bedridden man grew frustrated at his inability to observe the wonders his friend described. Eventually he grew to dislike him and then to hate him intensely.

One night, during a particularly bad coughing fit, the patient next to the window stopped breathing. Rather than pressing the button for help, the other man chose to do nothing. The next morning the patient who had given his friend so much happiness by recounting the sights outside the window was pronounced dead and wheeled out of the hospital room. The other man quickly asked that his bed be placed next to the window, a request that was complied with by the attending nurse. But as he looked out the window, he discovered something that made him shake: the window faced a stark brick wall. His former roommate had conjured up the incredible sights that he described in his imagination as a loving gesture to make the world of his friend a little bit better during a difficult time. He had acted out of selfless love.

This story never fails to create a shift in my own perspective when I think about it. To live happier, more fulfilling lives, when we encounter a difficult circumstance, we must keep shifting our perspective and continually ask ourselves, "Is there a wiser, more enlightened way of looking at this seemingly negative situation?" Stephen Hawking, one of the greatest physicists ever, is reported to have said that we live on a minor planet of a very average star located within the outer limits of one of a hundred thousand million galaxies. How's that for a shift in perspective? Given this information, are your troubles really that big? Are the problems you have experienced or the challenges you might currently be facing really as serious as you have made them out to be?

We walk this planet for such a short time. In the overall scheme of things, our lives are mere blips on the canvas of eternity. So have the wisdom to enjoy the journey and savor the process.

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SageTree

Made me think of this quote:

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clive

4.


The golden thread of a highly successful and meaningful life is self-discipline. Discipline allows you to do all those things you know in your heart you should do but never feel like doing. Without self-discipline, you will not set clear goals, manage your time effectively, treat people well, persist through the tough times, care for your health or think positive thoughts.

I call the habit of self-discipline "Tough Love" because getting tough with yourself is actually a very loving gesture. By being stricter with yourself, you will begin to live life more deliberately, on your own terms rather than simply reacting to life the way a leaf floating in a stream drifts according to the flow of the current on a particular day. As I teach in one of my seminars, the tougher you are with yourself, the easier life will be on you. The quality of your life ultimately is shaped by the quality of your choices and decisions, ones that range from the career you choose to pursue to the books you read, the time you wake up every morning and the thoughts you think during the hours of your days. When you consistently flex your willpower by making those choices that you know are the right ones (rather than the easy ones), you take back control of your life. Effective, fulfilled people do not spend their time doing what is most convenient and comfortable. They have the courage to listen to their hearts and to do the wise thing. This habit is what makes them great.

"The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don't like to do," remarked essayist and thinker E. M. Gray. "They don't like doing them either, necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose." The nineteenth-century English writer Thomas Henry Huxley arrived at a similar conclusion, noting: "Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not." And Aristotle made this point of wisdom yet another way: "Whatever we learn to do, we learn by actually doing it: men come to be builders, for instance, by building, and harp players, by playing the harp. In the same way, by doing just acts we come to be just; by doing self-controlled acts, we come to be self-controlled; and by doing brave acts, we come to be brave."

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clive

5.


Maintaining a daily journal is one of the best personal growth initiatives you will ever take. Writing down your daily experiences along with the lessons you have drawn from them will make you wiser with each passing day. You will develop self-awareness and make fewer mistakes. And keeping a journal will help clarify your intentions so that you remain focused on the things that truly count.

Writing in a journal offers you the opportunity to have regular one-on-one conversations with yourself. It forces you to do some deep thinking in a world where deep thinking is a thing of the past. It will also make you a clearer thinker and help you live in a more intentional and enlightened way. In addition, it provides a central place where you can record your insights on important issues, note key success strategies that have worked for you and commit to all those things you know are important to achieve for a high-quality professional, personal and spiritual life. And your personal journal gives you a private place to flex your imagination and define your dreams.

A journal is not a diary. A diary is a place where you record events while a journal is a place where you analyse and evaluate them. Keeping a journal encourages you to consider what you do, why you do it and what you have learned from all you have done. And writing in a journal promotes personal growth and wisdom by giving you a forum to study, and then leverage, your past for greater success in your future. Medical researches have even found that writing in a private journal for as little time as 15 minutes a day can improve health, functioning of your immune system and your overall attitude. Remember, if your life is worth thinking about, it is worth writing about.

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SageTree

Props to journal keeping/diary writing because I think they appeal to both 'sides' of the brain and kind of people. Some folks are very ordered in their lists, while other find meaning in the chaos of spilling it all onto the page.

I myself think of mine as a mix (as the post above defines them).
I find it impossible to record the events without looking deeper into them.

My Wife teachers art journaling classes from time to time and in her sessions.

This is another medium for study/ story telling as well.

I can see how the '15mins' is a good recommendation as that is also usually the same amount of time recommended for daily meditation and reflection.

Thanks for these Clive.
It's not earth shattering, but it's good to read/rehash these ideas and beliefs already inside, while hearing them expressed in new language/words.

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clive

6.


We live in a world of broken promises. We live in a time when people treat their words lightly. We tell a friend we will call her next week for lunch knowing full well we do not have the time to do so. We promise a co-worker we will bring in that new book we love so much knowing full well that we never lend out our book. And we promise ourselves this will be the year we will get back into shape, simplify our lives and have more fun without any real intention of making the deep life changes necessary to achieve these goals.

Saying things we don't really mean becomes a habit when we practice it long enough. The real problem is that when you don't keep your word, you lose credibility. When you lose credibility, you break the bonds of trust. And breaking the bonds of trust ultimately leads to a string of broken relationships.

To develop an honesty philosophy, begin to monitor how many small untruths you tell over the course of a week. Go on what I call a 'truth fast' for the next seven days and vow to be completely honest in all your dealings with others - and with yourself. Every time you fail to do the right thing, you fuel the habit of doing the wrong thing. Every time you do not tell the truth, you feed the habit of being untruthful. When you promise someone you will do something, do it. Be a person of your word rather than being 'all talk and no action.' As mother Teresa said "There should be less talk; a preaching point is not a meeting point. What do you do then? Take a broom and clean someone's house. That says enough."

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clive

7.

Every second you dwell on the past you steal from your future. Every minute you spend forcusing on your problems you take away from finding your solutions. And thinking about all those things that you wish never happened to you is actually blocking all the things you want to happen from entering into your life. Given the timeless truth that holds that you become what you think about all day long, it makes no sense to worry about past events or mistakes unless you want to experience them for a second time. Instead, use the lessons you have learned from your past to rise to a whole new level of awareness and enlightenment.

Life's greatest setbacks reveal life's biggest opportunities. As the ancient thinker Euripides noted, "There is in the worst of fortune the best chances for a happy change." If you have suffered more than your fair share of difficulties in life, perhaps you are being prepared to serve some greater purpose that will require you to be equipped with the wisdom you have acquired through your trials. Use these life lessons to fuel your future growth.

Remember, happy people have often experienced as much adversity as those who are unhappy. What sets them apart is that they have the good sense to manage their memories in a way that enriches their lives.

And understand that if you have failed more than others, there is a very good chance you are living more completely than others. Those who take more chances and dare to be more and do more than others will naturally experience more failures. But personally, I would rather have the bravery to try something and then fail than never to have tried it at all.

I would much prefer spending the rest of my days expending my human frontiers and trying to make the seemingly impossible probably than live a life of comfort, security and mediocrity. That's the essence of true life success. As Herodotus noted so sagely, "It is better by noble boldness to run the risk of being subject to half of the evils we anticipate than to remain in cowardly listlessness for fear of what may happen." Or as Booker T. Washington said, "I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed."

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Geeno

Id cry if i caught wind of your death, ya old codger.

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