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Old 05-20-2014, 09:21 AM   #21 (permalink)
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I was going to say "Cuz some people are fucking pussies"

But Turm's answer was better.
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Old 05-20-2014, 09:28 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Ahh yeah
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"NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies"

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Old 05-20-2014, 08:01 PM   #23 (permalink)
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I just meant that, when you give up all the pretense, you both gain a greater degree of honesty, but you also lose the insulation that all those ceremonies of language provide. For example, if we threw away white lies, then women might start believing us when we told them they didn't look fat. On the other hand, if they DID look fat, they'd have to deal with hearing about it. You'd no longer have the comfort of dancing around painful truths, but you'd have a lot less insecurity too.



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Old 05-20-2014, 08:35 PM   #24 (permalink)
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You also gotta realize you can't control how people feel about themselves.. It's not your responsibility to make a person happy in a relationship. I mean.. If the person is fat and they're asking.. Well why are they asking?

I don't mean be mean in a relationship I mean I think sometimes when people get into relationships ... Codependency happens. The other person relies on said partner to make them happy when in reality only you can make yourself happy.. And if you're in a relationship like that.. Hmm. I dunno. Something's got to change.

Am I making sense?

Is this even relevant? Lol

Brains been in a fog eh
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"NCC: A Cautionary Tale of Condoms and Crises", OR "YOLO: Ballsack Barnacles & Babies"

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Old 05-20-2014, 10:14 PM   #25 (permalink)
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You make sense, Turm . I agree. Thanks for sharing the thoughts
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Old 05-22-2014, 10:05 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Why isn't anyone else posting thoughts?
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Old 05-22-2014, 10:58 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Old 05-22-2014, 11:01 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Karpman drama triangle - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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Old 05-23-2014, 01:02 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Desire less ~ Experience more
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"The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in."
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"Not self-wrought is this puppet form,
Nor other-wrought this mass of woe;
Condition-based it comes to be
Condition-ceased it endeth, lo."
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Old 05-23-2014, 03:34 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Desire less ~ Experience more
Do you have any choice in the matter regarding what you desire?

Can you experience more or less?



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Old 05-23-2014, 06:27 AM   #31 (permalink)
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I think the more you appreciate each experience, the more your desires wane... fulfillment in the moment...
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Old 05-23-2014, 10:16 AM   #32 (permalink)
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The most sombre form of spiritual renewal comes when you sit naked in the morning, tugging and kneading your fresh ball sac like a ball of dough, occasionally smelling your fingers, and drinking coffee.
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Old 05-23-2014, 12:48 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Do you have any choice in the matter regarding what you desire?

Can you experience more or less?

The Rev
Yes. By the nature of human existence, one's mind contributes largely to how consciousness is experienced.
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"Not self-wrought is this puppet form,
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Condition-ceased it endeth, lo."
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Old 05-23-2014, 12:59 PM   #34 (permalink)
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We dont have full choice in WHAT we desire. we are an amalgam of different desires and its our choice which particular ones we focus on and which ones motivate us. we also have choice in how that desire is expressed and we have the ability to manipulate our own consciousness so that we arent RULED and DICTATED TO by our desires. ideally desires are just signposts that you can use to make sure that you are on the right path, as opposed to endgoals that you strive and strive for but never reach. its the cliche about the journey being the destination.

it comes down to, you have the choice to focus your attention in different ways and manipulate your attention to achieve different outcomes. Your attention can be on striving and wanting and never having, or it can be on appreciating and flowing and focusing on what you DO have already. we have choice in what aspects of each moment we focus on.

a metaphor can be made with physical pain. if someone stubs their toe, they have the option to A)focus on the pain which magnifies it and makes the pain the only important thing in their reality or B)ignore the pain which minimizes the pain by moving their attention to different things.

or its like how guys visualize their grandmas naked while having sex to avoid coming too early. you can laugh at that technique all you want but it fucking works, because our minds are way more powerful than our bodies.

i truly believe that our ability to manipulate the mind is a deep deep well which we have barely scratched the surface of.
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Old 05-23-2014, 01:11 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Guys do not visualize their grandmas naked when they have sex to avoid cumming early.



edit: guys who know what's up at least don't do that. Same thing with women who fake orgasms. Seriously. What's the point of sex if you're thinking about your naked grandmother or you're faking your orgasm? Preposterous nonsense - I don't want to hear about it - shame!


reedit: Anyway.. not on topic. Sorry bout the nitpick but my irk was irked
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Old 05-23-2014, 01:23 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir-Ex View Post
Guys do not visualize their grandmas naked when they have sex to avoid cumming early.



edit: guys who know what's up at least don't do that. Same thing with women who fake orgasms. Seriously. What's the point of sex if you're thinking about your naked grandmother or you're faking your orgasm? Preposterous nonsense - I don't want to hear about it - shame!
I once did this at like 17 when trying not to cum, except it wasnt a grandma it was juat a chair. I tried to think of a completely asexual object, and came up with a Chair.


Now anytime i dont want to cum and im getting close, while i dont try to do this at all, the image of a chair pops into my brain lol. Just for a second but it is there.

forever
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Old 05-23-2014, 01:25 PM   #37 (permalink)
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lol, well that's at least funny.

I suppose I did a bit of that when I was first learning too.



edit:
waves gets the last word here because this thread could do better
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Old 05-23-2014, 02:38 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir-Ex View Post
Guys do not visualize their grandmas naked when they have sex to avoid cumming early.



edit: guys who know what's up at least don't do that. Same thing with women who fake orgasms. Seriously. What's the point of sex if you're thinking about your naked grandmother or you're faking your orgasm? Preposterous nonsense - I don't want to hear about it - shame!


reedit: Anyway.. not on topic. Sorry bout the nitpick but my irk was irked
It's a thing young inexperienced guys do. Hopefully you grow out of it.
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Old 05-23-2014, 03:22 PM   #39 (permalink)
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I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I always had to imagine i was with someone hotter, or I could never get off at all.

Where do you end and everything else begins? I think the traditional way of answering is to say "I'm in here, everything else is out there." But, since everything is experienced, isn't it all "out there"?



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Old 05-23-2014, 06:30 PM   #40 (permalink)
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I would say its rather ALL "in here" since the world is an outward projection of your psyche, your beliefs, your attitudes, your associations and attachments. It projects from inward to outward, not the other way around. We experience an illusion of being separate from our perception of reality. Anyone whos taken psychedelics and learned anything from the experience will be the first to tell you that one of the most striking insights is that everything is literally the same source being manifest in different forms. nature instills in us this veil of separation so we can navigate and direct ourselves through life, but that veil is only an illusion. It can be pierced through spiritual practice. Or just taking some mushrooms.

So to me, its "im in here, everything else is also in here."

Its taking the stance of there IS no outside. Its all happening inside the mind of the same thing. Your life and my life are both happening within all-that-is, and at the root we are both the same person, the same consciousness, experiencing itself in the veil of illusion that results in us perceiving ourselves as individuals and not a part of the whole. What you call that whole is irrelevant, its the fact that all things come from it and are a part of it thats important. Allowing yourself to experience genuine interconnectedness between you and some other thing or person or experience is whats important.

This has implications on the psyche like for example if someone were to genuinely engage this belief it might make it easier to get through some kinds of trauma. It might enable a person to empower themselves if they see the world as just being a projection outwardly of their own self. That means they ultimately control this projection and can alter the projection to suit their needs VERSUS experiencing reality/life as some cold, external, static element. It can move someone out of being a victim and into directing themselves into the reality they want to experience, which to me is THE POINT of the ego and the veil of separation, to allow us some level of conscious choice and control over our individual realities.

Altering your perception of reality ACTUALLY alters your reality. You dont need to change any laws of nature or bend them or break them, you just need to manipulate your own consciousness and perception to achieve the desired outcome. For me the desired outcome is about appreciating the journey and the process and allowing myself to make choices outside of my comfort zone and what I know and whats familiar to me. That takes alot of inner strength.
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