spanking your kids - Page 2

DrugsBunny · 03-23-2005, 03:29 PM

im not a parent but i think spanking is ok. just dont beat the hell outof them.

~1~ · 03-23-2005, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SweetSativa

I'll bet you're a cool parent, Oneder... weren't you the one who framed your kids' "artwork" on the dresser? And the honesty thing.... I'm almost the same way... value it above all else (I remember the Santa conversation).

Thanks for the compliment, but I tell you there isn't a day that goes by where I don't ask myself if I'm doing it right. Having been raised by just my mom, I never had a father figure at home to see how it was done so its a crap shoot just about everyday as I see it.

kandikis · 03-23-2005, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oneder

By the way, don't send the kids to their rooms as punishment, my kids have cable, computers, video games as well as a rather large library that they use often so in my opinion, theres no punishment there. If I want them to go somewhere and be bored to tears as punishment, I send 'em to my room, nothin' goes on in there...

rofl...youre so right. thats great, when i was young my mom would send me to my room and i always thought to myself "haha i still win" coz i had all my stuff up there...tv, computer, etc just like you named. until one day she trumped me...meanie took away my power cords

atantricchic · 03-23-2005, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oneder

If you sit the child down and explain to them that they were bad and they are going to be spanked as a punishment for bad behavior, you've blown it, you have missed the window...

Bad acts need immediate and effective consequences so a young person will galvanize the idea that bad behavior= bad consequences, put it in their head that its NOW that you learn not to do that.

My mom smacked us kids, and I admit, I have given the boys a "brain duster" on occasion just to shake loose the cobwebs. Always the severity of the punishment fit the severity of the crime, so to say, if they don't clean their room they don't get their allowance but if I come in and they're in a headlock wrestling on the floor breaking shit, someones getting the back of my hand.

In every instance of me being on the recieving end of the smack I equated the action that got me smacked and you know what? Much like lab rats, I learned to not perform that particular behavior because I didn't like the effect it had on my day, get it?

You can rationalize it to them all day long, tell them to share their feelings and talk it out, tell you why they kicked mom in the shins but really, when did you learn the stove was hot? Ain't ONE of you here at three years old didn't reach up and burn themselves on something hot right after mom said "NO! thats hot!"

haha for once I agree with Oneder. Well put!

Now, I don't spank Alexis but only because I don't have to and that is the least effective form of discipline for her. There are other children that it works lovely with and if they were mine I would have no qualms. SC is a corporal punishment state for example. No bruises and they won't even take the report. Spanking is no longer a crime. Now only abuse is a crime.

I believe that we as parents in this generation need to consdier the ramifications of NOT having discipline as abusive too.

I believe that alot of the anger and general malaise of teens today might have everything to do with a generation of tree hugging or career obsessed parenting with NO REAL BOUNDARIES.

Try to slap some order or rules of kids like that and, well we've seen already.

I believe this can lead to horrible end in their adult life to have no real consequence. Fear can be a gift.

If I don't punish Alexis she may express her lack of discipline in school and choke or bite a child. She could be expelled, I could be sued, all kinds of horrible things could come out of us chosing not to discipline or choosing to discipline too light.

Alexis is alot like me though. A spanking is nothing compared to your anger. We're thick skinned (physically) but vunerable emotionally. If I threaten her with not doing reading with her tonight, that's worst than a spanking.

But I did have to spank her once this year. It was only last Saturday. We out at the laudromat and she keeps walking away and talking to creepy guys everytime I turn around. She wouldn't listen and they look really creepy. I warned her happy ass to sit down more than a couple thousands times, but she wouldn't listen. Reached into a machine and came back out in time to hear her recite our newly learned address (TY, compulsory education

) to the greasy mexican drooling at me.

When I got home, a regulation occured. Believe it.

But also consider that I know her well and her face when talking to guy after guy was defiant. That wasn't friendly bubbly fluffy shit. She kept doing it cause I was payingher attention while doing laundry.

That's justification in my book... giving out the address, too!

Kids!

Governor · 03-23-2005, 04:32 PM

I read "Between Parent and Child" when my daughter was very young. Parenting became easy and I never once spanked my child. Excellent results and we're very close to this day. She's 32 now.

atantricchic · 03-23-2005, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snapshot182

Guilt trips are the way to go, IMO but only when needed. Kids don't understand rationalization, which is a higher level brain function that kids havn't formed yet, but they do understand lower level brain functions associated with emotions. Hitting is the lowest form of punishment requiring the lowest level of brain functioning known as action/reaction, which I feel inhibits maturation. That's just me though.

Incorrect in the case of Allexis. Alexis operates on 98% ration. You have no hope of making her cease or continue a behavior unless you rationalize it to her.

I've heard from people, "you're spoiling her. You shouldn't have to explain every little thing to a child. Rule your house." Part of running a smooth house is knowing how people think and accomodadating that. Even kids.

It she doesn't see a damn good reason to stop She will do it again.

I calmly explained to her when she was 3 that the brown sodas have something in them that makes your heart beat too fast and isn't good for your heart. I told her it was caffeine. Try to give her a caffeine drink today ?(she's 6 ) and you WILL LAUGH. She look at you offended like you offered her poison. If you continue to look blank she'll calmly explain what I told her at 3 years old about caffeine. Now when she goes to friends houses I always find out at the pick up if they offered her a coke. Cause shhe offered them a sermon.

Kids can rationalize quite well!

snapshot · 03-23-2005, 04:35 PM

Why disagree with me instead of agreeing with someone. I have nothing else to say on the issue so don't expect shit from me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by atantricchic

Incorrect in the case of Allexis. Alexis operates on 98% ration. You have no hope of making her cease or continue a behavior unless you rationalize it to her.

I've heard from people, "you're spoiling her. You shouldn't have to explain every little thing to a child. Rule your house." Part of running a smooth house is knowing how people think and accomodadating that. Even kids.

It she doesn't see a damn good reason to stop She will do it again.

I calmly explained to her when she was 3 that the brown sodas have something in them that makes your heart beat too fast and isn't good for your heart. I told her it was caffeine. Try to give her a caffeine drink today ?(she's 6 ) and you WILL LAUGH. She look at you offended like you offered her poison. If you continue to look blank she'll calmly explain what I told her at 3 years old about caffeine. Now when she goes to friends houses I always find out at the pick up if they offered her a coke. Cause shhe offered them a sermon.

Kids can rationalize quite well!

Hedons · 03-23-2005, 04:37 PM

We have two boys 3 & 6. We rarely spank, and never to physically hurt.

I have spanked the older on the butt on three separate occasions and never have spanked the younger one.

If overused, spanking would actually have less of an impact on the child. Used too often, it can be very damaging to the child as it will teach him to cower around you and it will teach him to bully those who are weaker and hence easy targets.

-Hedons

snapshot · 03-23-2005, 04:38 PM

Moderation, moderation, moderation!

funky_unkle · 03-23-2005, 04:40 PM

My mom spanked me, I deserved it, and I turned out ok.

atantricchic · 03-23-2005, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hedons

We have two boys 3 & 6. We rarely spank, and never to physically hurt.

I have spanked the older on the butt on three separate occasions and never have spanked the younger one.

If overused, spanking would actually have less of an impact on the child. Used too often, it can be very damaging to the child as it will teach him to cower around you and it will teach him to bully those who are weaker and hence easy targets.

-Hedons

Yep, that's another great reason to keep spankings down to a bare minimum. We need something in the cut for a worst case scenario.

If I spank once or twice a year it's alot but when I do it has much impact (emotionally) with minimal impact (physically). Yes, moderation is the key.

Bud Head · 03-23-2005, 05:02 PM

All forms of punishment works on your kids if you make sure and explain to them in detail, what the punisment is for..

I have, and will spank my kids when i need the edge to get their undivided attention. I use the 1 2 3 before i get them.. First time i get on to them, i let them know what they are doing wrong.. Second time I say 2. third time their ass is mine... (so to speak...)

The older the kids, the less (taken away from them) actually works...

I have two boys and a three year old daughter..

My oldest son is almost 19
Second son is almost 14
What ever you do, make sure you:
1 let them know what they're doing wrong
2 give them a chance to stop
3 give yourself time to slow down.... 123 step is as much for parents as it is the kids.

Never beat your kids past recognition... You may have to pic them up from some where.. j/k

Never beat your kids or punish them out of anger... It will back fire on you and the child!!!!!!!

Governor · 03-23-2005, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snapshot182

Moderation, moderation, moderation!

"To enjoy the flavor of life, you must take big bites. Moderation is for monks."

~1~ · 03-23-2005, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bud Head

All forms of punishment works on your kids if you make sure and explain to them in detail, what the punisment is for..

I have, and will spank my kids when i need the edge to get their undivided attention. I use the 1 2 3 before i get them.. First time i get on to them, i let them know what they are doing wrong.. Second time I say 2. third time their ass is mine... (so to speak...)

The older the kids, the less (taken away from them) actually works...

I have two boys and a three year old daughter..

My oldest son is almost 19
Second son is almost 14
What ever you do, make sure you:
1 let them know what they're doing wrong
2 give them a chance to stop
3 give yourself time to slow down.... 123 step is as much for parents as it is the kids.

Never beat your kids past recognition... You may have to pic them up from some where.. j/k

Never beat your kids or punish them out of anger... It will back fire on you and the child!!!!!!!

Wise words from a kind old Nazi...LOL!

atantricchic · 03-23-2005, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Governor

"To enjoy the flavor of life, you must take big bites. Moderation is for monks."

"Monks take big bites of spirituality... via moderation"

~1~ · 03-23-2005, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atantricchic

haha for once I agree with Oneder. Well put!

I thought it felt like armageddon today....

snapshot · 03-23-2005, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Governor

"To enjoy the flavor of life, you must take big bites. Moderation is for monks."

Damn you Wednesday! Damn you opposite day!!!

BudSniffer · 03-23-2005, 06:13 PM

Shoot!, My mom used to tear our asses up! But we mostly needed it....we fought a lot.
SweetSativa, your boy sounds just like my brother...He admits now he was always jealous of me(I sure as heck don't know why) so he used to antagonize me and start shit all the time.If I told on him, or got the best of him, something of mine would come up missing, or broken.
There are 2 yrs difference between us, I'm the oldest.Once my dad finally got tired of him always starting shit, so he told me, "if he does it again, knock the hell outta him". Of course the first time I did(usually when we fought I always tried to grab his arms and hold him from punching me, I never tried to really hurt him)my dad jumped all over me, "Whatta you think your doin? You could really hurt him!"
But we turned out fine, I guess. Neither one of us has ever been to jail or nuthin'.

SweetSativa · 03-23-2005, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oneder

Thanks for the compliment, but I tell you there isn't a day that goes by where I don't ask myself if I'm doing it right. Having been raised by just my mom, I never had a father figure at home to see how it was done so its a crap shoot just about everyday as I see it.

Oh, hey... it's a learning experience for everyone man... and two boys close in age... wowza! I've got one 16 (boy), one 10 (girl), and one 4 (boy) and I thank the gods that the boys are not close in age or they would be coming to visit me on weekends at the funny farm..... ssssshhhhh.... be quiet around momma... you know what loud noises do to her.

Peace seeker · 03-24-2005, 02:28 AM

i m not a parent but i belive kids should learn to respect their parents from a young age. If they dont learn discipline from a young age, then forget it. The game is lost.

You cant teach a 16 yr old to be respectfull. The personality has been formed.

A little spanking here and there never hurt anyone. Nothing extreme of course.

A young and spoiled child is guaranteed to bring nightmares to the parents later on in life.

View Poll Results: Do you believe in spanking as discipline
Yes and I am a parent	11	14.67%
No and I am a parent	5	6.67%
Yes and I am not a parent	26	34.67%
No and I am not a parent	25	33.33%
I'm not sure	8	10.67%
Voters: 75. You may not vote on this poll

03-23-2005, 03:29 PM	#21 (permalink)
DrugsBunny Semper Fi Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 1,365 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	im not a parent but i think spanking is ok. just dont beat the hell outof them. __________________ Future Devil Dog Headed Off to Paris Island in 2009

03-23-2005, 04:32 PM	#25 (permalink)
Governor Decade Yahookan Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Denver Colorado amerika Posts: 4,146 Thanks: 0 Thanked 18 Times in 17 Posts	I read "Between Parent and Child" when my daughter was very young. Parenting became easy and I never once spanked my child. Excellent results and we're very close to this day. She's 32 now. __________________ 'Marijuana is responsible for evolution itself' Dr. Robert Melamede "Fuck the monkeys" Ken Gorman potgov@yahoo.com 420 Medicine

03-23-2005, 04:37 PM	#28 (permalink)
Hedons Ribbed for her pleasure! Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Chicago Burbs. Delta(x) times Delta(p) is greater than or equal to h-bar over two. Posts: 4,645 Thanks: 23 Thanked 189 Times in 101 Posts	We have two boys 3 & 6. We rarely spank, and never to physically hurt. I have spanked the older on the butt on three separate occasions and never have spanked the younger one. If overused, spanking would actually have less of an impact on the child. Used too often, it can be very damaging to the child as it will teach him to cower around you and it will teach him to bully those who are weaker and hence easy targets. -Hedons __________________ New and improved! Now with flushable applicator.

03-23-2005, 04:38 PM	#29 (permalink)
snapshot no custom. customize Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: The unOriginal Rorschach. Posts: 19,305 Thanks: 15 Thanked 18 Times in 17 Posts	Moderation, moderation, moderation! __________________ We are all atheists about most of the gods that society has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further. -Richard Dawkins

03-23-2005, 04:40 PM	#30 (permalink)
funky_unkle free Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: ) Posts: 1,737 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	My mom spanked me, I deserved it, and I turned out ok. __________________ A communist officer told a Christian he was beating, "I am almighty, as you suppose your God to be. I can kill you." The Christian answered, "The power is all on my side. I can love you while you torture me to death."

03-23-2005, 05:02 PM	#32 (permalink)
Bud Head Yahooka admin Hawk Eye Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 15,451 Thanks: 57 Thanked 305 Times in 207 Posts	All forms of punishment works on your kids if you make sure and explain to them in detail, what the punisment is for.. I have, and will spank my kids when i need the edge to get their undivided attention. I use the 1 2 3 before i get them.. First time i get on to them, i let them know what they are doing wrong.. Second time I say 2. third time their ass is mine... (so to speak...) The older the kids, the less (taken away from them) actually works... I have two boys and a three year old daughter.. My oldest son is almost 19 Second son is almost 14 What ever you do, make sure you: 1 let them know what they're doing wrong 2 give them a chance to stop 3 give yourself time to slow down.... 123 step is as much for parents as it is the kids. Never beat your kids past recognition... You may have to pic them up from some where.. j/k Never beat your kids or punish them out of anger... It will back fire on you and the child!!!!!!! __________________ If you want a drug free country, then you must legalize. ~~BH~~ Farmers grow the world..

03-23-2005, 06:13 PM	#38 (permalink)
BudSniffer Just bein' me Join Date: May 2002 Location: waayyyy over yonder Posts: 803 Thanks: 362 Thanked 259 Times in 158 Posts	Shoot!, My mom used to tear our asses up! But we mostly needed it....we fought a lot. SweetSativa, your boy sounds just like my brother...He admits now he was always jealous of me(I sure as heck don't know why) so he used to antagonize me and start shit all the time.If I told on him, or got the best of him, something of mine would come up missing, or broken. There are 2 yrs difference between us, I'm the oldest.Once my dad finally got tired of him always starting shit, so he told me, "if he does it again, knock the hell outta him". Of course the first time I did(usually when we fought I always tried to grab his arms and hold him from punching me, I never tried to really hurt him)my dad jumped all over me, "Whatta you think your doin? You could really hurt him!" But we turned out fine, I guess. Neither one of us has ever been to jail or nuthin'. __________________ "Nobody thinks the way that I do, I guess nobody dares. My head's so full of things, I set my mind free of them. I'm breaking the rules, breaking all the rules. " -Ozzy Osbourne

03-24-2005, 02:28 AM	#40 (permalink)
Peace seeker free the herb Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 6,830 Thanks: 749 Thanked 530 Times in 376 Posts	i m not a parent but i belive kids should learn to respect their parents from a young age. If they dont learn discipline from a young age, then forget it. The game is lost. You cant teach a 16 yr old to be respectfull. The personality has been formed. A little spanking here and there never hurt anyone. Nothing extreme of course. A young and spoiled child is guaranteed to bring nightmares to the parents later on in life.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode