Mercury

Let's say you are a descendent of a royal bloodline and you inherit a very great kingdom that encompasses a quarter million square miles and you also inherit absolute dominion over all the land, water and people that dwell within your territory.

What would be some of the laws and rights of your land and people?


(expect follow up ?'s)

__________________

deadhead94

My rule would be absolute and I would disregard the Magna Carta and all of the subsequent ideas that the king is not above the law.

__________________

Mercury

That's a good start. How would you protect yourself from being overthrown?

__________________

deadhead94

making examples.

I'd be like a mix of Edward I (the way he is portrayed in Braveheart) and Louis XIV. But again, without the limitations on my power.

I would exploit people belief in god via the divine right of kings. nobody is going to fuck with me if they think it will piss god off.

__________________

Waves

First you gotta start out ensuring production is at peak efficiency. I would personally (and by that I mean send an adviser) visit all the farms, granaries, fisheries, butchers, sawmills, blacksmiths, fletchers, bakers, and candlestick makers in the land to inspect their levels of production and adjust the staff accordingly. Once production is set you have to make sure your goods can be transported and bartered throughout the land. This means inspecting roads, highways, boats, oxen, and any other transport related commerce. Once again I would hire a bunch of advisers to go out and do all this work for me while i sat in the castle and got blazed.

Once your economy and infrastructure is up and running at peak efficiency you have to make sure the population can function at least somewhat. Hiring a police force or guard force for the population and trade routes, creating forms of entertainment to keep the people happy, and creating forms of local government are all things that would happen during this stage. Of course all this spending requires taxation, which i would create a progressive tax plan based on a pyramid system with the higher members of society paying the most taxes the the poorest paying the least. This may create some tension in the Noble community but I'll go over how much i plan on protecting myself from outside threats in a moment.

So now youve got your population, your economy going well, your people are protected and happy and productive, and all is well in the land. Its really not that hard to work out the logistics of being a king, the hard part is actually holding on to the throne. I mean youve watched a game of thrones right? its fucking hard work establishing a lineage/dynasty. basically everyone else in the kingdom would kill you at a moments notice to hold your position. so mainly your duties would entail hanging around the castle holding court and being surrounded by as many guards as you have gold to hire and keep loyal through copious wench-sex and bribes. I would also get like body doubles and shit. Anything I could do to protect myself from other shitheads who want my shit.

I wouldnt be too aggressive on the military side, probably would just hire enough of an army to keep up defenses and make sure we dont get squashed. My main focus would be economic, ensuring the future prosperity of my nation through a strong economic presence. I would want to be on the forefront of developing technology so that when new shit is discovered its discovered in my kingdom i get to use it first, like america and the ipad. hopefully all this trouble would ensure that my nation stays powerful and relevent in an ever changing, ever expanding world. and if not oh well, i spent lots of years in a castle being king getting blazed.

__________________
On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

Mercury

damn waves, your kingdom sounds very clinical. you wouldn't draconian it up a bit? seems like your system could easily get away from you. before you know it you'll have unions and maybe even a democracy on your hands.

__________________

Waves

If my kingdom is so progressive that we can develop unions and democracy in the span of my lifetime, that means i ran a damn good kingdom. Its like someone used a cheat code in a game of "Civilization 4." I will gladly step down and run as president of my country, which, if ive done a good enough job as a benevolent leader, my people will consider me beloved and elect me anyway.

if not i will sulk away angrily waving my fist in the air.

__________________
On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

farmergiles

I'd legalise weed cultivation and outlaw the starting of gay threads.

Then I'd grow loads of weed and build a royal racetrack.

Also I'd bring back the gold standard, nationalise the bank of england and plant lots of trees.

Edit- legalise prostitution and outlaw Rupert Murdoch.

__________________
Cultivate a stoic calmness

Waves

Dude this is back in the day- weed hasnt even been illegal-ized yet.

All sorts of peeps are growing hemp and getting high. Granted its probably not the best shit but its there.

Actually I was assuming that this was an olden-day kingdom given Mercs vernacular. Am i wrong? Or do we get to choose which era we rule in?

__________________
On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

Mercury

so maybe you would just streamline the whole show and install a monarchy from the get go? seems like you might limit the risk of being conqured by other kings in the meantime, i mean, and not get all the blame for it.

__________________

Waves

i thought we started with a monarchy already? our dads the king and he died and now we're king right?

you know when it comes to other countries conquering mine, i take a kinda "if its gonna happen its gonna happen" stance. i wont do anything really to try to prevent that cuz if its gonna happen its gonna happen. my military wont be the most trained or battle-hardy, cuz im focusing so much on economy. my plan is kind of a gamble in that regard. its all about how i work the politics and work all the other countries. i could end up like Switzerland and be neutral if i play my cards right, or i could end up just being conquered right away by like, france or something. my plan relies on being beloved by my middle and lower class and being at least tolerated by the leaders of other countries.

of course since im focusing on economy so much and will end up with so much gold, there will eventually come a point when my nation will simply have all the gold it needs to buy as much protection as it needs. im talking mercenaries, machines of war, animals of war, etc. we will have all the shit because i took that early gamble to focus on my economy and makin that coin. money makes the world go round and while other countries may have more established experienced armies, mine will have all the best shit. i would also focus on numbers and just have everyone fuckin making kids so that my army would be like chinas is right now-just gigantic. if i needed to use my army i would just zerg the fuck out of anyone, like the persians did to the 300.

__________________
On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

deadhead94

I would also commission the building of grand monuments that would make the pyramids at Giza in their day look like a shanty town.

__________________

Terry

I would invade Wave's pansy ass little rump state and make him my court jester whilst raping his women en masse and using his land for lebensraum for my own people.

__________________
I don't know but I've been told,
If you never die you'll never grow old

Roach

My clone of a chinese dynasty would join you.

__________________

לזיין את הקופים

farmergiles

__________________
Cultivate a stoic calmness

Terry

LOL good catch.

__________________
I don't know but I've been told,
If you never die you'll never grow old

farmergiles

__________________
Cultivate a stoic calmness

Waves

:P

__________________
On this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow

Dhomnley

I'd allow a free enterprise and the laws would be libertarian. After that I'd appoint a vice-king to run the show while I frequent my harem and play video games.

If vice-king got out of hand I'd have him executed and appoint a new one. I'd have body doubles make my speeches to avoid assassination.

My harem would consist of only 3 women for security purposes, and they'd be on lockdown unless they were with me. Never trust a bitch.

Geeno

I'm in for the chamber pot.

__________________