I am straight BUMMIN right now

Psilly · 05-25-2010, 06:00 PM

Okay, so here's my situation. I'm 20 and just had a baby boy a few months back. He is an absolute rockstar who I love with all of my pretty pulsing heart. But needless to say, my lifestyle has drastically diverted from the one I envisioned for myself at this age.

He's sleeping in the next room right now. I would love nothing more than to step outside and light one up. But if I did, the second the smoke hit my lungs I'd hear the chatter of a million voices questioning my maternal instincts, I'd probably feel lonelier than ever, and most likely delude myself into thinking I can FEEL the THC seeping into my milk.

So I guess the simple answer is, if it's gonna make me feel that way, don't do it. But I've been in some state of mourning about it or something. Like I've irrevocably attached weed (and a lot of other stuff) to the culture I was bred in. I wanna feel some heavy glass in my hand, I wanna sit in a circle with other humans, I wanna laugh at our antics, I wanna feel weightless. But now it's all gone.

Don't get me wrong. I've found happiness in so many forgotten places since my son was born. It just bums me out that these things have to be separate. That I can't have the happiness of parenthood and then, on occasion, the happiness of a sesh. As if I'm some drug addict whose unfit to be a mother for wanting this.. but people who have a few drinks aren't?

Does anyone else have problems like this?

There just seems to be so much judgement from others that I've incorporated it into my own internal rapport. And even when there isn't someone there to remind me of my responsibilities, I've begun to do it to myself. So no 'mokin for me. Just sitting on my computer wishing one of the friends that's out having a good time would come visit.

badgoalie85 · 05-25-2010, 06:02 PM

lol just take a break. you can start smoking again once he's off your tittays.

also, if people are judging you because you like to smoke weed, then they're ignorant and who gives a shit what they think anyway?

my_scatterheart · 05-25-2010, 06:05 PM

Props on actually giving a shit, it really seems rare these days. Really, it's awesome. It sounds like you're a good person and parent so far, so don't worry about the haters. Gotta do what's best for you and the little one.
Honestly, I think you know weed isn't that big of a deal to you it sounds like. Just keep rockin sobriety for a bit and then get back into it. Tried other stress relieving activities in it's place? Mild exercise? Like lifting small weights for a bit/situps/jumping rope/etc? Might help.

PS Stick around.
PPS One song? Israel Vibration? If so, that's my fuckin jam.

Canuck Wisdom · 05-25-2010, 06:27 PM

Yea, do what you think is best. The fact that your having the internal dialogue makes it sound as though you are already on a good path. You have to really ask your inner self what is right, and maybe do some research to help guide you.

Psilly · 05-25-2010, 06:55 PM

Yea, I guess I'm being a little dramatic. Thank you for your reassurances that it's no big deal. I just feel left out, I suppose, and I know it would help.

It's hard, in the context of thinking of your own parents, to not believe you are screwing up your child just a teensy bit more with every mis-step you make. He's just so perfect and I don't wanna mess with that!

I've got nostalgia for a time of togetherness and youthfulness and loveliness. But mostly I just need a babysitter.

Haha. Alright, I'm good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by my_scatterheart

PPS One song? Israel Vibration? If so, that's my fuckin jam.

Nay, but I'll investigate!!

my_scatterheart · 05-25-2010, 07:07 PM

lol I'm dumb. wrong song name.

ChiefBongWater · 05-25-2010, 07:48 PM

become a soccer mom

Dezzy · 06-26-2010, 11:02 AM

dont do it ive heard that it can be harmful and i head its fine. If you were my girl i would not want you to.

When i eventually have baby i plan on stopping everything cuz i would find that very unfair to my GF/Wife.

**Mafoo** · 06-26-2010, 11:19 AM

buy formula?

stoneric · 06-26-2010, 01:07 PM

Smoke away. The baby will love it.

05-25-2010, 06:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
Psilly YaHookan Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mass Posts: 18 Thanks: 6 Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts	I am straight BUMMIN right now Okay, so here's my situation. I'm 20 and just had a baby boy a few months back. He is an absolute rockstar who I love with all of my pretty pulsing heart. But needless to say, my lifestyle has drastically diverted from the one I envisioned for myself at this age. He's sleeping in the next room right now. I would love nothing more than to step outside and light one up. But if I did, the second the smoke hit my lungs I'd hear the chatter of a million voices questioning my maternal instincts, I'd probably feel lonelier than ever, and most likely delude myself into thinking I can FEEL the THC seeping into my milk. So I guess the simple answer is, if it's gonna make me feel that way, don't do it. But I've been in some state of mourning about it or something. Like I've irrevocably attached weed (and a lot of other stuff) to the culture I was bred in. I wanna feel some heavy glass in my hand, I wanna sit in a circle with other humans, I wanna laugh at our antics, I wanna feel weightless. But now it's all gone. Don't get me wrong. I've found happiness in so many forgotten places since my son was born. It just bums me out that these things have to be separate. That I can't have the happiness of parenthood and then, on occasion, the happiness of a sesh. As if I'm some drug addict whose unfit to be a mother for wanting this.. but people who have a few drinks aren't? Does anyone else have problems like this? There just seems to be so much judgement from others that I've incorporated it into my own internal rapport. And even when there isn't someone there to remind me of my responsibilities, I've begun to do it to myself. So no 'mokin for me. Just sitting on my computer wishing one of the friends that's out having a good time would come visit. __________________ If I had known it was Harmless, I Would have killed it myself.

05-25-2010, 06:02 PM	#2 (permalink)
badgoalie85 Spiraling Out Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: NoVA Posts: 1,085 Thanks: 97 Thanked 454 Times in 288 Posts	lol just take a break. you can start smoking again once he's off your tittays. also, if people are judging you because you like to smoke weed, then they're ignorant and who gives a shit what they think anyway? __________________ Pursue happiness. To each his own.

05-25-2010, 06:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
my_scatterheart Today, I am alive. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ Posts: 3,553 Thanks: 1,487 Thanked 3,328 Times in 1,870 Posts	Props on actually giving a shit, it really seems rare these days. Really, it's awesome. It sounds like you're a good person and parent so far, so don't worry about the haters. Gotta do what's best for you and the little one. Honestly, I think you know weed isn't that big of a deal to you it sounds like. Just keep rockin sobriety for a bit and then get back into it. Tried other stress relieving activities in it's place? Mild exercise? Like lifting small weights for a bit/situps/jumping rope/etc? Might help. PS Stick around. PPS One song? Israel Vibration? If so, that's my fuckin jam. __________________ Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

05-25-2010, 07:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
my_scatterheart Today, I am alive. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ Posts: 3,553 Thanks: 1,487 Thanked 3,328 Times in 1,870 Posts	lol I'm dumb. wrong song name. __________________ Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

05-25-2010, 07:48 PM	#7 (permalink)
ChiefBongWater a lot of grease Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 1,056 Thanks: 135 Thanked 315 Times in 223 Posts	become a soccer mom __________________ Straight No Chaser Bridgez, Boobs, Beer

06-26-2010, 11:02 AM	#8 (permalink)
Dezzy NiGGa BoY RoY Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,928 Thanks: 12 Thanked 51 Times in 43 Posts	dont do it ive heard that it can be harmful and i head its fine. If you were my girl i would not want you to. When i eventually have baby i plan on stopping everything cuz i would find that very unfair to my GF/Wife. __________________ "You want to have sex with The Max" LOL

06-26-2010, 11:19 AM	#9 (permalink)
Mafoo nice daze Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: the anguish of anticipated transformation Posts: 5,975 Thanks: 3,776 Thanked 2,652 Times in 1,698 Posts	buy formula? __________________ PLUR For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

06-26-2010, 01:07 PM	#10 (permalink)
stoneric bougeman Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 5,646 Thanks: 704 Thanked 1,512 Times in 1,067 Posts	Smoke away. The baby will love it.

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