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Cerebro 03-25-2014 07:34 PM

Any of you guys drive a Subaru?
I've got a Forester 04XT, awesome car.
I can't believe how much cheaper they are for you guys, you should all have one :)

Snowmayne 03-25-2014 08:00 PM

I drive a Subaru Legacy B4.

Used Subarus are super cheap over here. Going to pick up a nice one before we leave here, if Europe is our next destination. Either a wagon, an STI, or possibly a much nicer turbo B4.

Jakeisuseless 03-25-2014 09:11 PM

I do not drive a Subaru. I drive a Ford. As, for some reason, I think I've mentioned several times in the last few days.

However, there was a great time in my life when I was the proud owner of an '85 GL station wagon in brown. It was not a 4wd car. It was a regular front wheel drive car. It had an option, though I'm not sure what it was anymore, that made it a GL instead of a DL. I'm trying to think of something it had that could have been considered an option, and I am failing to think of anything. The car had no power nothin' and, well, not really any power, either. (80 hp or thereabouts.) It was, however, the second best vehicle I ever owned. Second to only a '79 Toyota pickup that I pulled out of blackberry bushes. I wish I were joking. Her name was Molly, and I love and loved her greatly. She's dead now.

I bought her because my '89 Honda with a daft H22 swap and a automatic transmission. It blew the automatic transmission two weeks after I bought her. I got a new job which required commuting so I got on craigslist and found her for $600 dollars in my hometown. When my dad and I met up with the seller I recognized him as a shady methamphetamine dealer from the rez. I wanted the car desperately, mostly because I thought it was 4wd. Upon asking how to engage the 4wd of the wonderful transfer-cased early subbies, I was told that this specific car was not one that was 4wd. I bought it anyway. I didn't actually have that much of a choice, considering it was the only slightly reliable looking car on craigslist I could afford that afternoon. I started my new job the next day. As I said, I named her Molly.

She had some-odd miles, under 200k. It's amazing I don't remember, since I'm a sucker for those sort of number masturbations. It appeared to have very, very many more than that. Or that possibly a small family lived out of her for a few years. She was big enough. One of the great things about the Subaru GL is that they were very long. They were actually quite a bit longer than even a current Forester. With the seats folded down I could fit a full sheet of plywood in the back, though barely. This made it convenient for me, because although I had an apartment, I preferred to sleep in her. She got 35 MPG on the highway with her asthmatic hitachi carb.

Part of the reason I preferred to sleep with her is because I had a girlfriend that was a long ways in the other direction of my job, and her father was rich and terrifying. The other reason that I was starting to become a raging alcoholic. Still am, actually. It's much easier to sleep in your car than to sleep in jail.

This idea about sleeping in my car only lasted so long and my habitual drunk driving started within her. I got a promotion, which was problematic because everyone in the company hated me because I was too young and too arrogant and they had been there for years and I had been there for months. I was not even near 21 and there was one guy (with a Caddy, it should be said) that I got along with in my team and he and I would go to the liquor store during our lunch and buy a fifth of Jack Daniels. (Or after I got smarter, a half gallon of Evan Williams.) Not so uncommonly we would go back to the liquor store when we got off and get another.

One day, I had worked a morning shift at my other job swinging a hammer and spent a second shift pretending I knew how to boss bitter overweight adults around. I was on our second fifth. It was a friday, I think. I had to cash a check, anyway. I stopped in a city cashed my check and got back on the freeway. The traffic was very tight that day, but moving quickly. It was the 405. I merged back onto the freeway. I looked down at the stereo to change to song or station, looked back up and saw a metallic red Jeep Commander stopped. There was a white Ford sedan in front of me that never hit her brakes. We were doing at least 60 MPH. I locked 'em up but it was pointless. I was maybe only thirty feet behind her. I hit her with enough force to push her trunk all the way into the back wheels of her car. Her car looked like a hatchback afterwards.

I was hit by the person behind me, though not very hard. He was hit by the person behind him very hard. I was then hit again by the person behind me. Have you ever played bumper carts?

The person in the Jeep never got out as far as I remember. But the girl at some point asked if he was okay. I looked at my car. The front was entirely smashed. The lights were just gone. But it looked straight and it wasn't leaking fluid. What the fuck? This girls car is destroyed in back.

She was, for lack of a better term, flipping the fuck out. I told her that it was okay and for awhile she sat on the front of my car while I rubbed her back and consoled her. She was fat. I went to the two guys behind me. I asked if everybody was okay, and they were. It was an Audi behind me, if I remember correctly, with no damage. My rear bumper was bent but not terrible. I asked if they wouldn't mind if I left, considering I wasn't at fault and there was no damage to his car. To my surprise, he said to get out of there. I briefly asked the girl but I was already bailin'. I got in my Subaru, my fucking Molly, my GOD DAMN FUCKING MOLLY and I started her up ("Yes!") and I drove off.

I promptly drove the next wal-mart and bought some headlights for an older domestic truck, some trailer turn signals and a roll of duct tape. Not bad. I drove Molly home.

I drove her with those taped-in lights for several months. Then I sort of adapted some junkyard lights, but they were actually worse, despite looking more legal. She had been nothing but reliable. I had recently changed the oil, even though I probably hadn't needed to, since she went though a quart a week and I kept a case of oil in the back.

One day I was in my home town on a weekend afternoon and I thought I smelled oil-smoke. I looked behind me and it wasn't Molly so I assumed it was just a diesel around or dying volkswagon in hippy country and continued on. I smelled it stronger a little while on and looked behind me. This time when I turned around it was the milky-smokey-inky blue of a psychedelic octopus fucking you in the ass. I looked at the oil pressure and it was pinned. I stopped the car and there was oiling coming out of the carburetor. If you know anything about mechanics, think about the logic of that. Molly was burning oil coming out of the top of her carburetor.

When I got her home there wasn't a drop of oil in her. My mechanical skills were not yet developed, I called in a brother in-law to tell me what the goddamn shit fuck was going on. He had no idea the cause, as baffling as it was, but the car must have blown rings and probably wasn't worth fixing.

In the back of my head, I remembered in my drunkenness I was changing the oil, and a piece of sponge fell into the oil filler cap. I ignored it as best as possible, knowing there was nothing I could do about it. In my current state I can deduce that the piece of sponge clogged an oil line between the return to the heads and the crackcase and forced oil up though the bottom of pistons, though the rings and into the carburetor. That is as far in the wrong direction as oil can go, ladies and gentlemen. It would be the equivalent of losing your dick in a sex act and it coming out of her mouth.

I left the car in my parents driveway and drank myself silly over my Molly. My molly that was so good to me, that could go anywhere, further than 4x4 f250s in the snow, even with her lack of Subaru rear limbs. The car that had taken my friends further than we wanted to go on any drug we wanted to do. My car that only played David Bowie's Greatest Hits on cassette tape. My lover that didn't have a rich dad. My companion that was as cheap a Highway 99 hooker but as charming as your second cousin a year before she heads off to a liberal arts college on the opposite side of the country.

My dad called me and told me I need to move her. So I came up and got her out of the driveway. But the oil pressure was just a little but less than it had been when I parked her. So I just let her run. I was pouring oil in her as she ran and the neighborhood could not longer be seen around me. The oil pressure just kept going down though. Finally it went back down to whatever absurdly low pressure it had been before, six psi or something. I rewarded her with a new stereo.

It was a couple months later. It was a saturday night. I was drunkish but not too drunkish. We were far, far away from home and I was driving fast. Out of the new stereo The Talking Heads were playing the good version of Take Me To The River. I remember clearly engine breaking hard in fourth gear to slow down for a blind rise. I was probably going 65 or 70 MPH. When I went over the rise I could see the a surface that was much more like a scary version of the moon than a highway. I was sliding. The surface was like ball bearings. I over-corrected right into the guardrail. I never touched the brake.

First I said, "Shawn, are you okay!" Shawn responded by laughing his ass off. We both laughed our ass off. We were both in our seatbelts. We were both okay. The part of me that trusted Ol' Molly so much turned the ignition. Nothing happened. The lights weren't on. In fact, I had just remembered them going off right before we hit. She's gotta live. She's gotta live. "Take Me To The River". We had just hit a guardrail. It was about sixty feet into a flooding creek below.

I get out. I see the damage and think, "She's Molly. She has to start. That's her only nature: to start." The battery was upside down near the engine mounts. I plugged it back together. Shawn says, knowing full well how I'll take it, "I think she is dead man." He knew how much I cared for her. I'm not even being dramatic, I don't remember if I cried or laughed some more.

The night was blinding bright. There was a trail of rainbow colored oil going back probably a hundred feet since we hit the guardrail. The damage didn't seem so bad. She survived once. But, no, this was it. A passing by trucker in a logging KW hit his air brakes and seemed to be out of the truck before he was even stopped. He radioed for state patrol.

Prologue: The surface of the moon I came across was actually a 53ft belly dumper full of construction rock. It had lost it's load. It took four and a half hours for state patrol to get there, a half hour after the volunteer fire department ambulance. My neck was sore and I said so. They released me and said to go to the doctor on Monday. Around the time state patrol showed up the trucker showed up with a front-end loader on a different trailer. He admitted what happened and paid a large fine. I don't remember the amount but his insurance agent said it bankrupted the company. I feel bad for him, now. I did some physical therapy and collected somewhere around a total of 13k from the insurance settlement.

I loved that car. She took care of me even if I didn't do the best job of taking care of her. I miss her now more than I miss my ex-wife.

Cerebro 03-25-2014 09:40 PM

Haha, way to spin a yarn.

Geeno 03-26-2014 04:41 AM

My parents have a subaru. Love that thing. Theyre still fairly expensive here. 25k for a basic model and it goes way up from there.

stoneric 03-26-2014 06:59 AM

Do you still grow? Miss your expertise in the grow section.

ionlylooklazy 03-26-2014 07:20 AM

If I was going to buy a new car, I'd buy a Subaru. Very handy cars.

Cerebro 03-26-2014 10:25 AM


Originally Posted by Geeno (Post 52221691)
My parents have a subaru. Love that thing. Theyre still fairly expensive here. 25k for a basic model and it goes way up from there.

I've been misinformed then, I was told a Forester XT was only about $28K, compared to our $50K+.


Originally Posted by stoneric (Post 52221697)
Do you still grow? Miss your expertise in the grow section.

Nah mate, not right now. I can't even smoke the stuff, I get random drug tests at work, so a few joints on hols is about it atm. Sucks. But the future will be green again at some stage.

Geeno 03-26-2014 10:55 AM

Only 28k

Tfw impoverished

Jakeisuseless 03-26-2014 11:43 AM


Originally Posted by Geeno (Post 52221720)
Only 28k

Tfw impoverished

No shit.

I just configured a Forester XT how I'd want one, (Except that I wouldn't want one because it's CVT) but not going to crazy. Just floor mats, ding trim, ashtray, power outlet, wheel locks, remote start, etc....

I could have got a touring model up to 35k easy.


Estimated Monthly Payment
60 months / 4% / $1000 down

Seems like a lot of money to me. It's more than my girlfriend and I's rent for a two bedroom in a decent neighborhood in a decent city.

Geeno 03-26-2014 12:25 PM

What is your rent?

Jakeisuseless 03-26-2014 12:39 PM

$425. Plus utilities. Pretty big, tons of storage (walk-in, etc...), but outdated and badly in need of new carpets. Also, above a dentists office on a main city road. There are parades, etc... You win some you lose some. Can't beat $425, right?

Geeno 03-26-2014 12:59 PM

That's amazingly cheap

kitch 03-26-2014 01:04 PM

Man 400-500 is typical in shitty areas if you have room mates.

Jakeisuseless 03-26-2014 02:52 PM

That's total. And besides steel failing and leaving a bunch of old crammed together real estate, Pittsburgh is pretty nice.

Cerebro 03-26-2014 09:19 PM


Originally Posted by Geeno (Post 52221720)
Only 28k

Tfw impoverished

Is that a burn? haha.
28K is only, compaired to 50K+ dude

Geeno 03-27-2014 05:12 AM

I guess I'd be able to afford 28k vehicle if I lived in jakes poverty apt.

I don't think I'd be able to afford 50k unless it was a 6 year loan and I lived with my parents.

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