Gonna get some crap for this

clive · 11-17-2009, 10:54 AM

What is this pain in my chest?
Why cant I help but feel obsessed?
Was I wrong to fall in love?
Was it too quick, or not soon enough?

Laying down, thoughts running through my head
Sometimes I feel life is worthless, better off dead
Tears run down my cheeks, i'm in despair
There's no cure for a broken heart, no repair.

I should have known this love wasnt true

I should have known not to fall in love with you

I should have kept my distance; stayed away

I should have saved this love for another day.

my_scatterheart · 11-17-2009, 11:49 AM

clive!

**SageTree** · 11-17-2009, 12:16 PM

Clive that is pretty sweet. No one is going to come in here a bashing, no worries there.

Also, I really like your signature quote, dig it.

**Mafoo** · 11-17-2009, 02:34 PM

this is a shit free zone

that said, i dig your flow and i feel like i definitely know what youre feeling

clive · 11-17-2009, 03:10 PM

heh thanx

Bearsy · 11-17-2009, 03:54 PM

Clive is a human with feelings too!?!?!

:P

Good poem man, it's a great way to get out some pent up thoughts and emotions. I'd like to see more from you(doesn't necessarily have to be on the same subject either)

Rubix · 11-17-2009, 10:12 PM

really good poem

**SageTree** · 11-17-2009, 10:23 PM

Nice to see you didn't get shit for this brother.

**Mafoo** · 11-18-2009, 10:18 PM

its cool we dont really need you up here. the backhanded remarks are bs

and the only reason why i felt compelled to say that is because, you can do that in pretty much every other part of the forum. so keep it positive, theres a person somewhere typing out those words on the screen

**SageTree** · 11-19-2009, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mafoo

its cool we dont really need you up here. the backhanded remarks are bs

and the only reason why i felt compelled to say that is because, you can do that in pretty much every other part of the forum. so keep it positive, theres a person somewhere typing out those words on the screen

Seriously, even a positive critique is good.

Why did this not make you want to come back more?

Share that please.

~1~ · 11-19-2009, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snowmayne

just felt like giving clive a hard time, nothing to critique.

well do that in FFA...

It really takes something to share creativity, some do it much better than others, some will take that light back into a corner if they're greeted with ridicule.

Not clive, but people in general...

Do unto others man, thats all.

Edit: damn them puppies is cute!!!

**SageTree** · 11-19-2009, 12:49 PM

Straight up, if you don't like the tune the band is playing, stand up and play something better, enjoy it for the sharing or be kind.

Telling someone their writing makes you not want to come back is akin to shouting that after a small coffee house show. And I know you aren't like that mang. I'm just saying. I feel these are the three courses of action in this forum.

clive · 11-20-2009, 05:22 AM

its ok i wasnt offended anyway, we always give shit to each other so i understood why you'd make a comment like that.

verklingen · 11-20-2009, 06:52 AM

it's skillfully structured clive i just don't care for the subject matter. though i feel wrong critiquing poetry when i haven't posted anything nor even written one in years

**SageTree** · 11-20-2009, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snowmayne

Ok, im sorry. It wasn't the best place for it, but in all honesty I meant nothing by it, I hardly read what you wrote clive.

I just had to fulfill the prophecy for the title of the thread.

We still love you like a brother, brother.

11-17-2009, 11:49 AM	#2 (permalink)
my_scatterheart Today, I am alive. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ Posts: 3,565 Thanks: 1,486 Thanked 3,324 Times in 1,870 Posts	clive! __________________ Be mindful even if your mind is full. -J. De La Vega

11-17-2009, 12:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,767 Times in 4,664 Posts	Clive that is pretty sweet. No one is going to come in here a bashing, no worries there. Also, I really like your signature quote, dig it. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

11-17-2009, 02:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mafoo nice daze Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: the anguish of anticipated transformation Posts: 5,974 Thanks: 3,775 Thanked 2,651 Times in 1,697 Posts	this is a shit free zone that said, i dig your flow and i feel like i definitely know what youre feeling __________________ PLUR For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

11-17-2009, 10:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,767 Times in 4,664 Posts	Nice to see you didn't get shit for this brother. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

11-18-2009, 10:18 PM	#9 (permalink)
Mafoo nice daze Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: the anguish of anticipated transformation Posts: 5,974 Thanks: 3,775 Thanked 2,651 Times in 1,697 Posts	its cool we dont really need you up here. the backhanded remarks are bs and the only reason why i felt compelled to say that is because, you can do that in pretty much every other part of the forum. so keep it positive, theres a person somewhere typing out those words on the screen __________________ PLUR For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return Last edited by Mafoo; 11-18-2009 at 10:25 PM.

11-19-2009, 12:49 PM	#12 (permalink)
SageTree ~Kalyāṇa-mitrā~ Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In Love Posts: 23,414 Blog Entries: 26 Thanks: 13,070 Thanked 6,767 Times in 4,664 Posts	Straight up, if you don't like the tune the band is playing, stand up and play something better, enjoy it for the sharing or be kind. Telling someone their writing makes you not want to come back is akin to shouting that after a small coffee house show. And I know you aren't like that mang. I'm just saying. I feel these are the three courses of action in this forum. __________________ "What's oppressive is letting your life be confined by old definitions of what everything is." -Zen Meister my_scatterheart YaHooka is.... Cannabis lovers from around the world pulling up a comfy chair, picking up a vaporizer, a bong, a brownie, a pipe, or a joint, getting high, stoned, buzzed or healthy. Uniting our minds in conversation...While Portraying a Positive Image of marijuana and marijuana users to the world. Treat your fellow YaHookans with kindness,respect and tolerance.

11-20-2009, 06:52 AM	#14 (permalink)
verklingen Radical Dreamer Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: texas Posts: 8,005 Thanks: 811 Thanked 1,491 Times in 946 Posts	it's skillfully structured clive i just don't care for the subject matter. though i feel wrong critiquing poetry when i haven't posted anything nor even written one in years __________________ “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” rip matt

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