vanilla

run fast and
dont save anything
for the way back
in this world
whats meant to be
not of it...
make youre own rules
dont try and make sense
it doesn't.
burn like the sun
and worshipped
gaze like horus' eye
it sees you.
just create like you are
ignore all signs
against all odds
and do it.
make every time count
every second
every word
heavy as stone
weighted for truth
but above all else
burn like the sun
even if you burn youreself

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Mercury

the meters don't flow well in some parts and it could use some spacing for a more comprehensive effect.

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vanilla

i agree about the spacing, but if youre complaint is about the 'flow' i think youre missing the point

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Jester4yall

fuck the haters I still liked it after reading it again..

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In matters of style, swim with the current; In matters of principle, stand like a rock. -Thomas Jefferson

You will encounter many distractions and many temptations to put your goal aside: The security of a job, a wife who wants kids, whatever. But if you hang in there, always following your vision, I have no doubt you will succeed. - Larry Flynt

Mafoo

thanks alot for posting, i havent read any creative writing in a while. i like the message, or the message i got from it at least

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PLUR
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

John F. Kerry

i think its cool and im no poet, i dont like the horus's eye reference but other than that its pretty good. and maybe the horus eye part is awesome and i just suck at reading poetry so

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Nasa under Obama

Mafoo

i like how everyone thinks people post writing to have it critiqued lol

as if theres is a model of perfection to compare every piece to...

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PLUR
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return

vanilla

thanks guys. i post for no other reason than to simply share, i dont mind criticism and actually welcome it, but at the same time, you don't watch a seinfeld episode and think "hey not a whole lot really happened" you take it for what it is
in anycase, the horus eye reference is about being against those kinds of rituals and beliefs

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adventure

Thank you for sharing. I used to post some poems under my old SN

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Coming Full Range